


To Slay the Midnight Song

by ymaeraldutch



Category: Naruto
Genre: Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Angst and Humor, Drama, F/M, Family Drama, Family Feels, Friendship/Love, Rebirth, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-10
Updated: 2018-06-04
Packaged: 2019-03-15 20:12:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 22
Words: 70,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13620855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ymaeraldutch/pseuds/ymaeraldutch
Summary: I remember my name. The name that keeps repeating like a broken record in my head. It kept me sane. It kept me from breaking because of the predicaments I found myself in. It kept me cornered through a wall of safe havens, away from all the impossible things. It kept me grounded that whatever circumstance I am in, I would not define myself crazy by letting this reality sink in.





	1. Lori Anne Ferguson

 

_"To the ones that bled colors of imagination,_

_Struck by a pen of fantasy._

_To the ones who know places and people,_

_Aren't limited to reality._

_To the ones who dream of escaping,_

_To a palace less known._

_And the ones who play by the heart,_

_And picture their souls,_

_Through an adventure with me._

_This is for you."_

* * *

 

 _Lori Anne Ferguson_.

I remember that name. The name that keeps repeating like a broken record in my head. It kept me sane. It kept me from breaking because of the predicaments I found myself in. It kept me cornered through a wall of safe havens, away from all the impossible things. It kept me grounded that whatever circumstance I am in, I would not define myself crazy by letting this reality sink in, or whatever it was.

I was just seventeen. I kept my focus on my studies and didn't bat an eyelid to all the glam and the fashion. The one thing important to me was to graduate high school, get that freakin' diploma for my parents to be proud of me. A typical nerd, I suppose. It's what every typical school calls typical people.

My friends weren't exactly what you call  _friends_. We were friends in a sense that we copy each other's assignments, backstab a lot of people, and probably talk about sex and boyfriends in our free time, but if you can't relate, like me, then that's only your loss. It didn't matter when one person can't relate, best to deal with it. No, we don't remember birthdays, talk about our personal lives, plan a slumber party, or dance hiphop to traditional songs all night. We don't even remember each other's names. In fact, most of us rarely care what each do with their lives.

I think they didn't like me most though. Yes, I was a nerd, and nerds were supposed to be quiet little dandelions of pure clumsiness, but when they got me to talk, they probably were close to punching a face when I awkwardly shared my grandfather's old school jokes, or that time when I told them to shut their mouths for a second because I was listening to 30 Seconds to Mars on repeat. I think I got way off the belt boundary when I called them 'crazy like the  _Kardashians_ ' when they were swapping boyfriends and two-timing a lot of popular jocks from our school. They were flattered at first, but when they got that I meant they were ' _sluts_ ', they ignored me for a week or two.

Ever wondered how I got along with these divas that probably should belong to queen bee status? Let's just say they were family friends and another one is a cousin of mine that used to sing Barbie songs with me and buy all the stuff toys related to Pokemon. I don't know what the hell happened to her after she turned thirteen. Point is, she didn't like me now.

Maybe that's the reason why nobody came to my rescue when I got raped and murdered in an alleyway that led to my demise.

Yes, that's right. Little old me, apparently.

Oh, we were just walking down the street from school to my cousin's home. Turns out, it was grandmother's birthday and everyone she knew was invited. Sweet, old lady, I tell you. She bakes good chocolate chip cookies every Friday and always makes delicious hot chocolate milk.

We were talking about my cousin's latest boyfriend and how she thinks he's the one even though she knew he was the ex-boyfriend of a friend in our circle's ex-mom, when suddenly a group of guys cornered us. You know what my 'friends' did? Oh, nothing really, except they thought it was a good idea to push me to the trio of weed warriors and run away. Jolly, good show. Oh, they'd receive the honor of being in my hitlist once I request hell to crown me grim reaper.

Sadly, that was not the case.

Death doesn't mean being trapped for nine months in an enclosed space that can cause a traumatic experience or you developing claustrophobia. It didn't mean magically not feeling hungry or thirsty because some tube is attached to your belly. It definitely didn't mean getting spit out by weird and wet passageways and then feeling someone holding you like they were giants.

No, it DID NOT mean  _reincarnation_.


	2. Reincarnation

 

 

_What is seen is not the Truth_

_What is cannot be said_

_Trust comes not without seeing_

_Nor understanding without words_

_The wise comprehends with knowledge_

_To the ignorant it is but a wonder_

_\- Illusions and Reality, Kabir_

* * *

 

Remember that babies are blind? Yeah, about that traumatic thing, I passed that phase, thank the Lord.

My guess when my eyes cleared and the blurry days had gone was that I was in a  _Japanese_  family that cosplayed for theatrical performances. Or just weird-ass Asians that do all those costumes for the sake of their kids. They were wearing those vests and metal-plated bandanas that I am pretty sure were only seen in that anime series I once watched with my cousin back when she wasn't an asshole yet:  _Naruto_.

I wasn't sure if they were trying to make me join in on their family fandom, but I never did like that series. All the drama that surrounded it was too much and the plot twists was hell of unbearable. There were a lot of people I would rather punch in the face or tear to pieces. Man, do they even know how to chill and not get involved with fighting for the village too much?

Anyway, I realized that the cosplayers weren't really my parents or that old dude that probably is my grandfather, although a bit grumpy. They were my other distant relatives that only visited because I was born and they didn't really care what happens after my birth. On my first birthday, I thought they were holding me a costume party except a  **STRICTLY NARUTO ONLY**  policy was probably established. Who knows, they were hardcore fans after all.

All I did in the party was make cute faces, running around the front yards like a loose alpaca. I didn't understand them yet anyway but I did pick up some simple phrases, though not much to comprehend what the hell they were saying.

When I turned two, I could finally speak, but I didn't speak their language. Though my vocabulary has been expanding, I was still speaking my former language back in the normal world before this place happened. That's probably why I got spanked. Who knows what the hell ' _bedtime_ ' in Japanese is. Right?

Besides, why would they question my weird-ass gurgling noises of fluent English when they were still obsessed cosplayers of an anime. I mean, isn't that just equally crazy? But don't get me wrong, even though those relatives of mine rarely cares about what I'll become in the future, or if I stir away from the fandom, I still love them and their sadistic tendencies of flame throwing their own house every time we visit. Oh, good times.

By the time I turned three, I can now speak Japanese well and understand them clearly. It's pretty weird the first time, but you'll get the hang of it afterwards. So, that was pretty much the first time I knew my name. It took me three shitty baby years to figure that out because I was trying to magic my way into their language. And it is pretty hard to learn, by the way.

" _Yuu-chan_ , do you know how to write your name? Hmm?" My mother in my second life, Akira Ketsueki looked at me with those big, wide eyes. " _Sa-Yu-Ri_ "

By the way, it also took me three shitty baby years to figure out my parents' names because fuck Japanese.

Akira Ketsueki is a  _sweet_  woman. I mean, she raised me well. Her smile is one of the things I love about her and how she sings to me whenever I go to sleep. She is my mother after all even when I was aware that I did have a mother in my first life. She gave me a good life. I know we were not that rich, probably just the average ones, but we had a bed to sleep and my mother is a dedicated housewife as she provides for me. One day, I'm going to be able to thank her and say ' _I love you's_  a lot, one I never got a chance to do with my first mom, which I never even got to meet since she died after my birth in the first life.

I gave her a cheeky smile, "No."

A tall and lean man suddenly burst into the room, looking like  _Brad Pitt_  with a fish net slung on his shoulder. He gave a booming laughter as he approached me and ruffled my hair. He looked down at me with amusement in his eyes, "Oh, don't pressure the kid, Akira. I'm sure that even if she only makes crooked lines on paper, my little munchkin is way, way better than her grandfather's sewing masterpieces."

"That devil brat ain't got nothing on me," a rough voice exploded from the far corner, sounding like a sulky, black widow. He scrunched his nose and gave out a snort, "You out to raise your child to know how to sew. Kids these days, always the epitome of a headache. Clashing swords and…", And a lot of grumbling noises from an old man nearing his  _90s_.

That was my father and his father.

My father, Asuno Ketsueki, literally looks like  _Brad Pitt_. No kidding, I was shocked myself. Not just because he's hell of a hollywood actor look-a-like, but because it is also kind of weird to put a Brad Pitt face that speaks Asian. Over time, I got used to it and now, he's just my father. He's the type of father who probably laughs at everything. A typical, sweet, man of the seas that keeps his family steady by being the captain of fish-catching. Plus, those dad jokes. I knew I was going to love him the first time I saw him.

My grandfather though, Shima Ketsueki, is someone who I would gladly be best friends with for the rest of my life. Glad to know, he's my grandfather after all. He can go from slow burn to super savage every time. I remember when a cousin of mine, the idiot who I've seen walking on water like some reincarnation of Jesus in our backyard but I'm pretty sure there were strings involved to make that possibe, dropped by wearing his usual shinobi merch, and asked gramps how he's doing, ignoring me in the process because he thinks I'm just a baby who knows nothing and drools on his merch.

Gramps was like, "Oh, I had a dream about me, kid. Turns out, hot chics were chasing me down the street including your crush."

"Oh, that's bad. Good thing I can protect myself against the mob of chics coming to get my kiss too," and my cousin winked and I could not  _not_  roll my eyes.

I'm pretty sure gramps did not appreciate that comeback and the wink that never did look good on his face because he was furrowing his eyebrows a lot and he just replied, "Yes, I'm pretty sure. Your face is probably protection enough."

And dang it, I've probably heard of that roast before, but it gets me everytime.

Grandpa is like my spirit animal, especially when I learned from him when he was talking to me that when mother was giving birth, he was screaming, "Did the  _asshole_  come out yet?!" and by the time I came out he was like, "I will raise this asshole granddaughter of ours to forever torment annoying shrimps like our neighbours and bullshit the whole world." And I knew he's going to be the person I would ask advices for.

It's surprising because when I first saw him, I thought I wasn't going to like him because he looked at me like I was just another toe nail that needed to be cut off and then I kind of figured out that it was just his usual resting bitch face. Well, glad to know.

When I turned four, I can now write like an adult high on alcohol. My calligraphy is spot on  _Leonardo da Vinci_  if I was dreaming. When I wake up, it just looks like a pile of dead rats and grandpa probably said that it looked like vomit and it looks better if he closes his eyes. I did better when I turned five, though.

Now, five years old is probably my highlight of the most terrible nightmares coming to life.

It was a usual sunny day, honestly, aside from the fact that it was officially my birthday. Me and my dad took a stroll to see the big world, with me on a piggy back ride, in a whole new level because most of my going out involved visiting relatives, but now I get to explore the big world. Try and see if the Naruto fandom is going on a rampage and lookie here, it freakin' is. They probably have  _ebay_  or  _Lazada_  to provide that damn too many merch and hair dyes to match. Crazily, I am thankful that my hair is light brown because it is more not weird.

There were a lot of people wearing those vests and I spotted a guy up in a tree wearing that ANBU mask and costume with katanas slinged behind them. Don't know how I spotted him or felt that he got surprised when I turned my head to him, but I think it's probably just the gut feeling talking. Never mind. Just, wow, this place is a whole new level and there are a lot of  _level 99999_ cosplayers.

My father cleared his throat and that got my attention. "Sayuri, this village is  _Konohagakure no Sato_. We are sworn to protect and serve it. Well, mostly shinobi do all the work, but either way we are to be loyal to this ground we stand on. You may not understand today, but you will in the future. Just remember, becoming shinobi is not always a choice."

I rolled my eyes, " Dad that's weird coming from you. You're a Naruto fan too?"

He looked at me, confused, "Who is Naruto, Sayuri? Is that your  _crush_?" And then he popped his eyebrows up and down like a suggestive weirdo.

Oh my god, I thought, is he actually serious right now? I mean, come on, they got all the props right and those four faces on the big hill is too damn accurate, probably concepting an Uchiha discrimination timeline where they got murdered ASAP, and now he's acting? And he's pretty good too.

"Come on, dad. You can continue this joke later, but why are you setting all this up?"

"I don't get you sometimes, Yuu-chan, but this is not a joke, young one. Look around. We are built of  _chakra_. Even civillians like us, even faint, has chakra. See? I can even do a basic summoning of it," then he put his hand forward for me to see and I almost flipped.

 _What the fuck?!_  It freakin'  _turned blue_  like  ** _fire_**  on the palm of his hands!

"Dad, please tell me this is another one of those good old pranks? Right? I mean, no one can actually do that right? Please tell me you just poured alcohol all over that hand and lit that hand for kicks. Right?"

My breathing was becoming heavy and I was pretty sure I was close to hyperventilating. What the fuck? What the fuck?  _What the fuckkkk?_ No, please do not tell me I just spent five years  _stupid_. I mean, no one can actually walk on water right? Or flamethrow people or freakin' talk to dogs, I mean that's not how the real world works, no. I get that reincarnation is hell of weird but atleast the science and faith behind that is explained, but reincarnated in an anime? I mean-

"Yuu-chan, what's wrong?  _This is_  chakra. Of course it's real," then he did the glowing thing again like it's the most casual thing to do and he's just teaching the alphabet and stating facts about apples to a kindergarten. "You okay,  _musume_?"

Damn, that ' _musume_ ' thing is sweet, but for now,  _fuck me_.


	3. Realization

_At the core of every secret_

_Is the truth_

_A truth we are unwilling to divulge_

_Yet through time we evolved_

_To learn truth is the best solve_

_-Roney, Confessing Truth_

* * *

 

Realization hit me like a wrecking ball.

Well, I think most of the people that will plummet into my situation would always freak out inwardly because that is what is happening to me right now. Well, okay I was having a tantrum outwardly. I mean, nobody gets how traumatic the whole idea and details of my rebirth came to be, or how I can't see for the first few months of the whole experience. Then you add the fact that I am in a suicidal anime that is obsessed with child-slave armies.

It probably is not child-slavery, and I think most of the children are willing to become a killing machine about to save the day or something, but still, these are just kids. They know nothing and once they get older they won't even have time to question what the fuck they were doing on the battlefields or think twice about doing another job like a janitor or something. Sometimes, when you simply just question the village's legacy, you'd be seen as some kind of red alert.

So, yeah.

I'm officially fucked.

Me and my dad went home because according to him I blacked out, pretty obvious considering I can't remember walking back home to my room to cry and scream. I was having a tantrum because I don't know what I am doing here and I am cursing whoever the hell put me here. No, you don't go chill and say, 'oh cool, I'm in Naruto, let's go save the fucking day' but instead you would be me yelling profanities at every living thing and screaming, 'Fuck the free world', like Eminem in 8 Mile. I don't mean in a good way, let it go, Elsa version free world.

"She's been like this for hours. What did you say to her?" I heard my mother's voice from the kitchen, arguing with Dad.

"I told you, I said nothing wrong. When I told her about the village and showed her chakra, she automatically looked like someone about to give birth to a dolphin." My dad was also legit freaking out and is so very confused.

"Don't describe your daughter's situation like that. And by the way, it's pretty dumb that you flashed chakra to her so of course she's going to react strangely."

"How should I know? I thouht she would coo in wonder at it, not flip out."

Oh, the hell I would coo in wonder at it. That thing is fucking evil.

I should have noticed earlier. The way there is a warmth right there in my stomach and some tingly stuff spreading through my skin. The way I kind of pinpointed ANBU soldiers like unexplained rocket science. I should have figured out how I came to be. But damn, too late for that.

But, I don't know, it's kind of fine, right? Everything is great around here so far. As far as I am concerned, I wasn't born in a clan considering my surname is Ketsueki and no clan like that exists. Only some of my relatives are civillian shinobi and none of the people staying under the roof with me are pledged to the village enough to wear those green suicidal vests.

My father is a fisherman, my mother is a housewife, and I have a grandfather that constantly gives the world a middle finger.

And what era is this? Okay, there are four faces on that stupid rock above the village which is something I very much dislike. I saw earlier that there are still people walking around with the Uchiha clan symbol on their stupid high-collared shirts. I am sure this is Uchiha timeline where they are constantly discriminated. Not the Kyuubi attack, no. That thing did not happen yet, I saw some woman with red hair awhile ago, pregnant, which made me back pedal if she was supposed to be the cosplayer for Kushina or not back when I thought all this was some kind of funny theatrical fandom performance.

But that does not matter, right? I mean, I was born civilian and I am not going to become a shinobi, prior to what my father said, and I think they would be supportive of my decision to cower away from all that shitty pre-canon timeline. My rebirth to this world doesn't mean anything at all, okay. I was nothing special back in my old life. So, no restorer of goodness and all that epic hero stuff going on. I'm pretty sure everyone experiences this stuff and everyone here is possibly reborn too, only I have techincal difficulties regarding my reincarnation and can suddenly remember my past existence as Lori Anne Ferguson. Right?

Right.

I came out my room, wiped my tears away and forced a smile on my face. I walked slowly across the kitchen to get to my dad. I tugged on his shirt and shook my head, "I'm fine, Dad. It just gave me a surprise. I didn't like it. It just flashed and I was scared."

My dad was supposed to respond but a certain old man snorted from the far corner, "Huh, some things are more dangerous than that, missy. Be glad you're not born into an Uchiha or Hyuuga or any clan to face those council fuckers and the Hokage himself or it'll get a lot worse than just seeing blue light poppin' around your face."

"Tou-san! Words!", Mother hissed. "Don't listen to him, sweetie. He's just an old man. Just understand that whatever you are scared about is not going to come at you because we will protect you. Me and your dad swears that we won't let anything happen to you."

"I don't want to be a ninja," I murmured, hoping they would be okay with it.

"And that's fine, sweetheart. It's okay. It's what's best. We don't want you getting hurt, right? Okay, come hug Mommy now." She pulled me closer to her and I realized that I do miss hugs from a mother. I am so lucky right now.

* * *

 

"Sayuri-chan, grab that basket! We can't afford to leave those cookies and sandwiches. Your Aunt likes them very much."

My mom yells from the front door while I run to the kitchen, hurriedly grabbing the said basket, and returning to stand by her side as she locks our home. Dad isn't home yet, probably out for a night fishing with his fellow fishermen buddies. Grandpa is at the hospital with my aunt guarding him since he had another episode of a heart attack and we are visiting him today. Hope he did not cause trouble for the nurses again. Mother said it happens a lot.

Come to think of it, I'm going to visit the hospital for the first time.

"Why are we visiting him at night, Mom? Didn't anyone tell you about jump scares?"

Her face contorted in confusion and she looked down at me, "Jump scares?"

I rolled my eyes, "Yes, Mom. Jump scares. Even Dad knew about it. Dad told me monsters pop out of nowhere during the night so it's a no-no to walk around during that time."

"Jump scares, huh. You're like a term inventor, Sayuri-chan. Do you know what that is? It means you make up words with that squeaky voice and creative mind of yours. You even call me 'Mom' and your father 'Dad'. You never called us 'Okaa' or 'Otou'. It's sweet, musume. You came up with pet names for our family." She laughs to herself as if reminiscing a good memory which I am guilty of because what she just said is true.

Except 'Dad' and 'Mom' isn't something I term-invented and those were not pet names, but let's just keep it a secret for now.

I gave her a gummy smile, "I love you too, Mom."

She was about to grab me and carry me through the whole journey to the hospital when we heard some growling noise up above and this strange overwhelming feeling of fear crept up on me as I felt a great mass of chakra overweight my emotions. My mother pulled me closer to her chest as she ran around to the hospital, carrying me.

I was practically confused. What the hell is going on? Why are there people running? Why can't I breathe? But when I looked up, I found my answer.

I was numb. My head shut down. Everything didn't make sense. One moment it was a lovely time with my mother and I and then suddenly the buildings around us came tumbling down and there were a lot of people running away, screaming and crying and barely surviving, from a giant orange fox with angry and bloody red eyes above, tearing through the whole village.

My mom suddenly put me down when she was approached by two shinobi and Dad. Dad felt relief when he saw us and immediately grabbed us for a hug. "I'm so glad you both are okay!"

"I need to get your father in the hospital and my sister." What? I'm sorry, Mom, but you are crazy.

"I will do that. Stay with Sayuri, please. She needs you," Dad insisted.

"No, Sayuri will be taken to the evacuation area and both of us will go with these shinobi to get our kin. I am coming with you because you are not doing this alone and killing yourself."

"Akira, please. What about our daughter? She needs someone to take her there and not make her feel scared. She does not know what's going on!"

"No, Sayuri is more safe in the hands of these formidable shinobi than she is with me. I am coming with you, Asuno, and that is final. You won't stop me."

The two shinobi who probably finally had enough of the couple banter, butted in and made orders to my parents. "Asuno-san will come with one of us to retrieve your family, Ketsueki-san. Although you will come with the other of us to help with healing civilians in another evacuation area where the wounded are separated since a relative of yours mentioned you can help with the healing a bit. Your daughter will proceed to the other safe area."

"Wait, but if you two are coming with us then who's going with my daughter?"

But the response of the two shinobi was unheard of when a blast was suddenly heard, an explosion of debris falling to the ground and a huge wave of people came rioting to our direction, carrying me away with the mob with only a faint of my parents' voices yelling my name from far away.

Fuck.

It was the only sensible thing that came to mind. I do not like to be separated from my parents. Not in this freaky situation where everyone's set their fates to die. Damn it. I completely forgot about the Kyuubi Attack happening around October. I am so screwed, I should die again.

So, here I am, standing up with a scraped knee and a burst lip. I think I felt a gash around my ribs, though not that bad to bleed me to death. Just a wound, I think I'm fine. Fuck you, Kurama. Who told you to run an apocalypse of scaredy cats, hitting a little girl in the process?

I walked towards the direction where people are running away. I was thinking of following them to lead me to the evacuation area so I can meet my family there. Yes, Lori Anne Ferguson A.K.A. Sayuri. You can do this shit. Ain't no fox is going to tear that family down! Fighting!

Oh, who am I kidding.

I set my pace slower when I passed by the alleyways and I can hear a girl around my age screaming for her dad. She had red eyes which made her look very creepy like a Chuckie doll. She was crying and in very deep and emotional life crisis. I was about to scream at her to come with me and we can go get her daddy later no matter how much her eyes creep me out when some boy, also around my age, appeared out of nowhere and was screaming at the girl.

He had big, wide eyes and he had some luggage slung around his upper body like someone carrying an infant with them. Oh, wait. Is that hair I see? Oh, god. What the hell is he doing with a baby attached to his body in this destructive phase?! Where the hell is this boy's irresponsible parents?!

"Izumi-san!", he yelled, "Over here!"

The girl whipped her head so fast, I almost thought it cracked, and stared at him with tearful eyes. I stood four metres behind the little girl debating whether or not this scene sounds familiar.

Izumi? I mean that sounded like the girlfriend of-

"Itachi-kun?"

Oh, yeah. That guy. See? I was about to say that. Wait. That guy is someone who will grow up to make big history. That is fucking Itachi Uchiha with baby Sasuke whom I did not really care much for the whole series like his older brother and overly dramatic backstory! Right there, in front of me and his supposed future girlfriend! Oh, hell no!

Itachi sprinted to get to Izumi and suddenly he spotted me too which is extremely bad luck. He was about to yell at me too, probably to come and help me out because that is just a kind gentlemanly serial killer we got here and I don't fucking care.

So I ran.

Away from it all.

Oh, hell no. Not today, Uchiha Itachi, not today. To hell with the fans who would die meeting you and your heroic ass, kissing up to become someone who would stop the massacre. First of all, I completely convicted myself to never ever get involved with pre-canon timeline and that includes any character that is going to one day become badass encyclopedia contributors and with pacifying unpacified deeds of good and bad.

I am Lori Anne Ferguson, a civilian in my second life named after a white lily, Sayuri Ketsueki, and is not entitled to become friends with anyone who meets the criterion of canon.

After a few runs, I circled the whole alleyway and followed another crowd, hoping to find my family, of people being led by the Uchiha police force. I blended into the mob, careful not to bump into a certain Fugaku Uchiha or his son for that matter who probably finished being an epic hero awhile ago. And you know what? I did a bloody good job too because I spotted my mother from the crowd with my grandfather who looks like he didn't just experience a surprise monster attack. I mean, his face screams grumpiness like someone about to scold children messing with his lawn.

"Mom!" I waved my arms at her, screaming for her as she searched for me in the crowd. Instantly, she found me and immediately lunged for a hug.

"Sayuri!"

I searched for my grandfather and also gave him a hug, "Gramps!"

"Stop that, you brat! You're going to break my bones. Can't you see it's already broken? And where the hell have you been? Your mother keeps nagging without you here," he looked down at me with disapproving eyes. But nah, he just won't admit he's worried too. I'll let that pass.

"I'm not dying today, gramps. You're still going to raise me to become an asshole someday." I gave him a cheeky smile which he gave a smirk in return.

"Sayuri! That's a bad word. And Jii-san, stop teaching your grandkids such vulgar words." Aunt gave me the eye. I stuck a tongue out at her in reply, "Sorry, Auntie."

"Mom, where is Dad?"

I did not get an answer because after a few seconds, Dad appeared out of the blue, lunging at all of us like some kind of lifeline. "Dad!"

Damn it, I don't care about the village, but I care about the people in it. That's why I am glad that everyone in my family lived another day. See canon? Your curse of disaster did not reach civilian people like me. So, that's five more points for Sayuri.


	4. Recovery

_The brain is deeper than the sea,_

_For, hold them blue to blue,_

_The one the other will absorb_

_As sponges-buckets-do._

_\- The Brain, Emily Dickinson_

* * *

After a week, we were fully starting all over again. Our house was kind of abolished along with the other houses of our neighborhood. A lot of the villagers were scarred, including our family, because of the impact of the destruction physically and emotionally considering we were led to believe that we may not see our loved ones in the next time we open our eyes.

A lot of deaths took place during that attack. One of my relatives died, but I don't know if I should feel bad that I don't really care that much about him because I don't really know him. In fact, I don't really care about anyone dying as long as it's not my mom, dad, or grandfather on the death bed. I know, the insensitivity that I have should be tamed someday. I mean, I  _almost_  walked up to a corpse and thank him that he wasn't anyone I love or something.

We were about to get into our new home now, one that got built by some kind of wood jutsu used by that masked shinobi. ANBU? I don't know, he or she kind of dressed differently than the normal ANBU climbing up trees, observing a lot of districts in the village like they didn't trust us helpless civilians.

Is he under the reign of Danzo? I mean, I remember that old guy in the anime. It was said that he kept this kid experimented with the DNA of the First Hokage by Orochimaru. Was that guy Yama-whatever or something? Uh, I don't even remember all of what was happening in the anime. All I could really recall right now, as time passes, are the historical things that served important to Team 7's playing characters. When I first got here, I remember memorizing every detail of that craziness. It's been five years. Nobody remembers a lot of names and their back stories that is irrelevant to all the messy stuff in a long time.

If you ask why I didn't jot down what I remembered since the beginning, well, believe me, I tried. It's just that pudgy baby hands aren't really reliable to holding a pencil and I don't even own a pencil or a pen because my parents don't trust me with them, thinking I would stab my eye with it. I didn't exactly appear with the impression of a nerd like in my old life. If you think chakra could be used to write, it can't actually and even if it did, there's just no way I'm a prodigy at chakra manipulation and all ninja shit that keeps everyone's lives going.

Oh, I have chakra. I know that now. In fact, the more aware I am of that evil thing practically coursing through my veins, the more I can feel it that it is creepily flowing through my body like some  **skin rapist**.

Okay, that was weird, ignore that.

Anyway, since it's unnatural to feel something such as chakra, I just became a major sensor and I literally rock the sensing part since it's the only thing awesome going on in my civilian life. I think it's not going to get me into trouble though. Nobody actually pays attention to some normal kid who does not belong to any prominent clan. The ANBU I instinctively pinpoint just by glancing at them doesn't seem to know and probably doesn't care.

So, the only question that remains is what the hell am I supposed to do to protect myself, even just minimally doing so, without becoming a shinobi?

That's right, bros.

_Gathering information about this world and beyond._

Well, information is obviously key. The more you know about where you are, the more you can adjust to the situation at hand. You use this information as a comeback weapon if ever life lies to your face or you get played by your own game. For example, if someone tricks you to go to an unknown land beside an amusement park when you were just asking for directions to where  _Seven Eleven_  is located, you immediately know that who you're coming face to face with is your enemy.

So we study. A lot. About chakra, clans, past Hokages, deaths of important village people, missing-nins, enemy-nins, the creation of Konoha, and other stuff that may be questioned in a civilian academy with bias principles. And maybe we should study a lot about math since I think that wherever I get reborn into, it will never leave you. At all. What a nightmare.

"Auntie, do you have books I can study?", I asked my aunt, who happens to be close to an average shinobi of the village. I was thinking she may have books regarding the things she was learning in her shinobi school. I mean, they do have history there, right?

She looked at me skeptically, examining whether or not I'm qualified to take on her educational system or something. She soon raised her eyebrows at me like someone disbelieving a person's abilities, "Can you even read? Or write, Sayuri-chan?"

"Of course, I can! I'm not stupid! I'm five, but I know!" I crossed my arms and looked at her challengingly.

What I don't like about people in here the most is that the kids in clans are judged prodigious and they don't think twice that a little child can be supersonic and can do amazing reading stuff unlike civilians. They automatically call our kind as weak and illiterate until we reach the age of fifteen.

Well, she obviously thinks that way since she snorted and just gave me a pat on the head. "Oh, that's funny, 'Yuri-chan. I don't even know if you know what the words 'study' and 'stupid' are."

"I know what those words mean!"

"Oh?", she hunched over and leveled my gaze with hers, "Even of you want to study, brat, the books I have does not interest you. I don't have fairytale books to give to you and a lot of it are for shinobi purposes and your mother said you don't want to become a ninja."

"Please," I gave her my best doe-eyes. Geez, I probably look like someone out of a horror movie now. It's what my grandfather says every time I do it to him and he always turns away or sends me to my room and not speak to me for the rest of the day. I usually just don't think about it and remember that my father is Brad Pitt's twin. "Just let me study them."

She rolled her eyes, "Okay, fine. It's not like I was going to say no, pudgy face. It's not so much of a use to me now anyway and I think I was going to give it to you when you turn eight so I could get rid of them."

'Yay!"

* * *

"Don't let anyone other than your family see those books, 'Yuu-chan. It's been a tough job lying to the librarian that I lost those books so they'll become mine."

I gaped at her, "Auntie, you stole them?!"

Mother sighed, "Kanari, what have you been giving your niece?"

Auntie Kanari boomed in laughter, "Pfft, don't worry, Nee-chan. If you think about it in a much more technical direction, I didn't exactly steal it. I lied that I lost them. That's different. Anyway, 'Yuri-chan was the one who asked for the books."

"Yes, and next thing we know, the asshole brat is actually Madara Uchiha's reincarnation," Gramps grumped, pure disbelief at me and probably thinks that I want to be a ninja which is untrue. I just want to learn what the hell is going on. "What, with all these books, she will automatically be some kind of self-proclaimed prodigy."

Well, he was close enough with the reincarnation part, but not Madara's.

"Tou-san, Sayuri is five," my mother was face-palming now. Probably on the verge of questioning everyone's sanity. "Sayuri," she called in a soft voice, "Do you really want to become a ninja?"

"NO!" I exclaimed, louder than it should have been.

I think I shocked them with the conviction in my voice. It called for a final decision, like there wasn't anything that could sway me at all with what I am going for.

"Then what's with all the books?," inquired Auntie, confused.

"Auntie, I don't want to be a ninja. Ever. I just want to learn to protect myself with all of these information. Life is bad and it gets worse from there and we are at war. When the time comes that life plays me, my weapon is the knowledge I instilled in me."

That's when I left them, their mouths hung open, the scene playing out like I'm some kind of Oscar nominee.

I think they just really need a lot of assurance, especially Gramps and Mom, that I wasn't going to be the Hokage's killing machine. That I wasn't going to be someone controlled by society. Mom shouldn't be worried at all. I wasn't about to plummet to hell and unholy grounds. To be honest, yes, I am a coward and I don't know how long I'm going to stay cowering from this version of reality, but right now, five years old isn't really a good start to sacrifice myself for the greater good.

I sat down and observed the books given to me.

_Chakra, History of Konohagakure no Sato, The 5 Villages, The Shinobi Code, Shinobi and the Weapons..._

Well, this is going to be a long day indeed and I am already getting sleepy but the studying adrenaline derived from the nerd me in the past is probably going to keep me going for a few hours. Well, I should probabaly just get started and get over these quickly.

* * *

**THIRD PERSON**

Akira breathed heavily, heart that was hammering a few seconds ago, slowing to a stop, but the worry for her daughter isn't quite gone yet. They were only three now outside their newly built home after Sayuri walked out with a worrying speech.

"And that is why I am worried about her."

"Akira," Shima solemnly called, "We all know that kid is smarter than she looks. In the outside she looks like an ordinary person that will obliviously take candies from a stranger and waits for a prince to save her. When you get to know her, you'd notice her vocabulary is equivalent to that of a prodigy. She doesn't have physical strength, but a lot of mentality. If she ever develops her strength, she will become another soldier on the battlefield waiting to be killed."

Akira wasn't really all that happy that her husband's father is being blunt about the endgame of Sayuri when she chooses or if she gets discovered as someone that has a potential to become a shinobi. But it was true.

Sayuri's pitch black eyes don't glimmer like the eyes of those poor kids who know a lot about the world because they have seen the harshness already. Her eyes glimmer like a lost child in an unknown place, always wary, like someone who already knows how harsh the world is without even a glimpse of the terror yet.

Her actions are vocals of childishness, but she knows a lot. She picked up how to read and write in a matter of a year and can speak fluently like she's some kind of secretly genius, eighteen-year old with probable bad attitude in a little girl's body. But that's just crazy. It's not that obvious, apparently, because she does stupid stuff most of the time. Like that one time where she ate flowers with a horse because she said the horse needed a companion.

' _Everyone needs a companion, Gramps. No horse is an island.'_

And she always have a bucket of quotes unheard off, like it's straight from her scrapbook of life.

But the thing most worrying about is her untamed spirit of never even doubling back to think about living a shinobi lifestyle. Akira, Asuno, and Shima is at rest with her decision. For them, it was a relief to know that their kid wasn't dreaming, like all the other kids, to become some kind of Hokage and stop all the pandemonium and all the madness, but rather smart enough to be scared about the thought of killing someone or getting killed.

Of course, everyone thinks it is a natural process to  _kill_  someone and no moral codes exist in this world to bargain that it is not right. That's fine, no argument, but the fact that they make a kid grab a  _kunai_  and stab it to another mortal at such an early age is a traumatic, psychological, mind-battling decision to make. Blood of another's on your hands can either make you or break you. There is just no way a sane parent would let their cute little kids be running around with a mind-shattering breakdown. They weren't old enough to handle the mess. Their young minds don't pave in warzones yet.

So, yes. It is worrying for a kid to not dream of becoming shinobi because those are kids that are usually sought after because that means they're smart enough to know that it really isn't just a place for kids to play ninja like it was just a game and we all know they need smart people for the job to handle war with no ignorance.

"And you say you don't want her to be a ninja," Kanari bubbled up before the silence that surrounded them.

Minako Kanari has been protecting the village ever since she was twelve. She made it to  _Jounin_ when she turned twenty-one. Being longer on the warzone area, she became familiar with a lot of prodigies including  _Hatake Kakashi, Uchiha Shisui, Namikaze Minato,_  and all the Hokages that came to be and that's why she noticed a prodigy almost instantly no matter how much stupid they can act. She was born in a civillian family and unlike her lazy sister, Akira, who may not look like it but doesn't really think about the future and life although she has a big heart, she dreamt to become a ninja and here she is. She worries for her niece, but thinks that the child should prosper in the ninja path. It is the only way, she deduces, to protect her.

"No, and I really don't want her to become a ninja." Akira replied, her mind tumbling down from all of the things she learned this day. "It's fine, Kanari. Since when did the Hokage even care about civilian prodigies? A lot of it, yes, but they were dreamers and there they were, a ninja. Sayuri's different. She doesn't want it and that's okay, nobody is going to notice someone smarter than average in a civilian academy because nobody cares about the strength of civilians."

"Not going to notice?" Kanari snorted, "Nee-chan, the civilian academy are going to be surrounded by kids of ignorant children and children terrified of war or children stupid, to put it bluntly. In that sea, don't you think a little girl who spews out words of wisdom won't get noticed? Come on, everyone's monitoring the whole place."

"Leave, Kanari. It's enough for now," Shima sighed, obviously tired, "We'll talk about it again in the future, but not right now."

And so Kanari left with a brooding face as she contemplates whether or not she should tell the Hokage about her niece.


	5. Sixth Year

_You kept your head above the water_

_You knew that from the start_

_They would pull you directly under_

_If you did not swim, sweetheart_

_\- Persevere, h.c._

* * *

 

I've been learning a lot over the past few months and I can say that each time I open a book, I am more and more drowning into the deep abyss of being scared at the thought of ever becoming a shinobi. Yes, I had to yell that to the whole world over and over again and it is not because I needed that assurance.

It's my family. I mean, each time they see me with a book, they have that look in their eyes like I'm suddenly going to jump into the warzone with all that costume and shit like I'm some kind of Power Rangers metagamer. Sometimes they look really worried too, like  _really_  worried and I can't explain how I deduced that stuff just by their actions or their eyes. I don't even know what they're really worried about.

Never mind. I'll figure it out eventually.

So, let's move on to the first thing I put effort learning:  _chakra_. Sometimes, you just really want to know what is inside your body, no matter how weird it is.

Chakra is actually some kind of weird energy that is essential to even the most basic of jutsus. Even civillians have it, but not that much compared to those who practiced it a lot or those who were born in clans. People use this to walk on trees, walk on water, or maybe even part waters like it's a Moses jutsu or something. And it can be used to do a lot of things so miraculous, you'd think you were actually reborn in the Bible. Come on, the Aburame bloodline limit kind of passes up as a type of plague used in Egypt as punishment.

Chakra actually originated from a tree and it's kind of a creepy tree because it grows by absorbing blood from a lot of fallen soldiers on the battlefields. The tree was called a  _God Tree_  and people back then worship the stupid tree because it just does that and owns the  _chakra fruit_  produced for every thousand years. It was said that it was a tree that saved the whole world. I don't know about these guys, but when you hear about a tree that makes you think about  _Count Dracula_ , the blood-taker, you don't get down on bended knees. You  _run_.

The chakra fruit is kind of like a forbidden fruit where it shall never be touched. Like, ever. It's a fruit that contains chakra and I can understand why it really shouldn't be touched. It's power after all. When you see power, you'd immediately grab it and when you see it is not enough, you'd get greedy.

A lot of  _Otsutsuki_  dumbasses, especially a certain Kaguya, just won't follow the damn rules. Oh, she didn't just touch it, she  _ate_  it. Basically, Kaguya is such a rebellious princess who probably appeared heroic because at first she used it to stop all conflicts. Well, when she gave birth to her two sons, after all that crazy s _aving-the-whole-galaxy_  jutsu, she fell into the world of corruption of power. But that's just my theory from what I can remember as fragments of my past life, because in history books, the Kaguya thing is seen as a myth and she's actually portrayed as an angel.

It stopped there, apparently. They moved on to the stories of her two sons who are equally stupid like their mother. They are those pretty boys born and raised with chakra. Apparently, these guys actually are the founders of  _The Six Paths_  or the  _Chibaku Tensei_  in which they used and magically created the moon. It'd be funny for a girl to stare at them like they hung the moon because they actually did.

So, Hamura actually resided in the moon to guard the beasts and all that leadership to the Otsutsuki clan while Hagoromo followed in the hero's footsteps to teach them to become ninjas. I practically blame him for every war that is happening because he was also the one who spread the beasts that at first was good game, but in the future, it is actually another reason why wars are rising.

And Hagoromo had sons, Indra and Asura. Nothing much, it's just that this generation is where the so-called  _Curse of Hatred_  came to be. Where the similarities between Sasuke and Naruto is seen. Basically, Indra is the bad guy because it was said that he went mad with his prodigious abilities and just wants the spotlight to himself, wanting to destroy Asura. I think it wasn't his fault. These history books or myths about the past aren't really all that accurate. It wasn't mentioned that Indra was actually pushed to become evil.

And that's about it. Then we move on to the present where all the clans and their bloodlines came to be. Nothing much too. They don't really disclose the confidential stuff of how to defeat the bloody jutsu, but they disclose what the respective clans' bloodline limits are. The most basic ones, of course. I was planning on asking for a bingo book, but that was only provided for shinobi and Auntie Kanari is forbidden to hand it to civilian families.

Isn't that just stupid. What if we get visited by one of those enemies of theirs, but we wouldn't know that. We'll be offering them milk and cookies while they slowly plan out how to behead us.

The shinobi rules aren't given to anyone unless they went to the ninja academy which I don't really care about that much.

I still didn't read the book about how to use weapons. I think I should, but I don't know if I'm interested in it or if I should care because first of all, there is just no way I am learning  _shurikenjutsu_. I don't want to handle sharp, pointy objects, throwing them around to headshot enemies like a boss. I don't even know the logic of how they did that accurately without aiming for the wrong person. I know it's helpful, even to civilians, but I don't want that yet.

Auntie also gave me a book about the most basic hand seals which I never touched. Just by looking at the covers, my chakra fluctuated in a sign of danger. I really do not want to manipulate my chakra in any way possible and make leaves stick to my body like a second-rate, Lady Gaga costume because I don't want to attract attention and get forced to admit that I have potential, which I really don't have. It's just that I am more sensitive to the feel of it because it's new to me and I still think it's impossible. Also, I'm too lazy to put so much effort into it.

Maybe, when I feel like I am in danger, which is unlikely going to happen, I may put effort practicing simple shinobi moves. I mean, everyone does it better during the last minute.

Aside from what I learned, it's my birthday today. I am officially six years old. My mother is baking cake and those relatives of mine are early as always. They only came for food, as always.

"Happy birthday, kid! So how are you doing, Sayuri-chan?", an unknown relative came to greet me by the doorway. "I bet you're excited to become a ninja!"

"I don't want to be a ninja," I deadpanned.

"Why?" The unknown relative scrunched his nose and pouted. I never met anyone who could do that at the same time. I mean, he looked horrifying now. It's a face that scares children shitless. "Being a ninja is  _amazing_ , 'Yuri-chan!"

Yes, of course, because that's just what you say to every kid in order to sold them to becoming a hero and find their names on the memorial stone, if they even get a chance.

"Well, it's nice to meet you too. I'll be in the backyard." I left him there. I don't even want to talk to him again.

When I went to the backyard, my little cousins were running around playing ninja. Oh my gosh, it's like a continuous nightmare in here. I get followed around by shinobi ideology. Even kids torment me. Those innocent-looking creatures don't even know what they're even playing.

"Sayuri-chan!" A kid who's probably two years older than me waved at me and smiled. "Do you want to play with us? Please!"

Wow, I really feel bad for this girl. She knows my name? I didn't even know she existed. It's not like I have any interest towards my cousins. They're like adrenaline junkies most of the time, what, with how much they spend practicing their chakra and weapons, dreaming the most cliche dream of the shinobi world.

"No thank you!" I hollered back.

I saw the girl drop her hand and whisper stuff to her group of friends or my cousins, or hers. I'm pretty sure they think I'm such a killjoy.

"Don't mind her, Chi-chan, she's just a boring, spoiled brat." Another kid, with no front teeth, tried to say those words, probably to get me to agree to play their game. Does he even know what 'boring' and 'spoiled' mean? Or did he just pick it up from his parents?

I don't know, man, I usually am not that childish and way too mature to even involve in kids' battle royales and their oblivious skills of reverse psychology, but sometimes when they throw rocks at you, you come back with a flower and a flower pot. I mean, literally.

"Hey, it's my birthday," I exhaled calmly, "You don't get to be the mean one here in my house. Or  _else_."

"What are you going to do? Cry?" And then they started laughing like it was the most hilarious thing ever.

Suddenly, I spotted a decoration right behind me. I picked up the decoration, which is the flower pot and raised them up to the sky, signalling to them that I was going to throw it at them.

Okay, I wasn't going to. I'm just using it to stop these kids from bothering me. I hate kids. Being one is already worse. Interacting with them? Kill me now.

Then they started screaming. Like it's the second Kyuubi attack. They were running away so fast to go to their mommies and I wanted to laugh because I was just raising a flower pot like I'm getting ready to jam into a folk dance.

"Now, that's not very nice Sayuri-chan," a voice bubbled up from the side and I immediately recognized it as Auntie Kanari's.

I dropped the flower pot and fully faced her, "It's not, but I needed something to do to get them out of my hair."

"And you plan to throw a flower pot at them."

"I wasn't, it was just a trick strategy to drive them away." I replied quickly, hoping to get away from her as much as possible and find my mother.

It's not that I don't like her. She's actually a pretty great aunt, quite hospitable, really, even when I know Gramps is giving her a hard time. She's just becoming someone I have to be wary of. Ever since I asked for those books of hers, I've been seeing her a lot at home and each time she leave there is this stressed expressions on my family's faces like they just got into an all-out debate.

A lot of times, I can feel her observing me whenever I'm reading the books and it gets creepy because I know those eyes of hers are always paying attention to  _every_  movement I make.

"How's your studying doing then, brat?" She grinned, crossing her arms like someone expecting to be handed out her monthly salary. I was beyond confused because she asked like it's the most important question to be answered in her whole life.

"Uh, I haven't learned a single thing," I lied.

"Liar," she deadpanned, "I heard you reciting about some kind of God Tree."

Okay, she got me. But it's not like I've been learning jutsus like all the other kids. I'm only on history-based knowledge. "Auntie, that was just history. It was nothing important compared to my cousins who just recently learned how to stick a leaf to their foreheads. I can do it too, but I need glue or my saliva to make that possible."

"Well, then," she placed a hand on my shoulder and I really tried to shake it off, but she was quite the strong woman, "I could teach you a few tricks if you'd let me."

I shot her a glare and completely put a lot of effort into successfully removing her hand away from me, "You won't teach me a few tricks, Auntie, because I wouldn't let you. I've said it over and over, I don't want to become a ninja. I made that clear to everyone a long time ago."

She sighed, "It's for protection, even if you don't want to become a shinobi."

"Nope. I can do it myself. I don't really need your help and if I wanted protection I'd make sure to yell your name."

Before she can say anything more, I ran away and immediately went to find my mother. What, I'm five. I should be able to do that even with a soul of a seventeen-year old. Besides, only my family could make everyone shut up.

"Sayuri-chan!" Dad's deep voice echoed from the living room where everyone is gathered and I immediately swerved to his direction. "The cake is ready!"

When I got there, Gramps was the first one I saw. "Another year in this  _shitty_  world, brat."

"Tou-san!" Mom reprimanded, obviously done with the vulgarity of old people.

Yep, another hell year indeed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Btw, I researched about those chakra stuff and all through Narutopedia. Thanks to them that this chapter was possible.


	6. The Civilian Academy

_A canvas, Acrylic, brush, and paint._

_The artist is simple morbidly sane._

_Red for anger, love and hate,_

_Purple for royal, grey for straight._

_\- Impression, Medinah Aousunt_

* * *

Walking into the civilian academy for the first time felt like being in  _hell_.

I'm not even kidding.

There were a lot of screaming kids, pulling each other's hairs, running around in underwears, and a bunch of teachers trying to discipline the epiphany of the day. Even those who are older than me physically act like the ones that made a pact with the devil. What, with all their clothes torn almost into nothing and their teachers' faces close to that of  _The Hulk_  when he's out of control.

Did I mention how much I  _hate_  kids? I think I did. Now raise that to the power of ten. I'm not even exaggerating.

It's been five long months since my last birthday. I thought that the world would change, even kids. In present time, I had probably grown three inches and I am proud to say I am already past my mother's waist. My brown hair is still, well,  _brown_ , I guess. Aside from the fact that it is now past my shoulders, I took a liking to always pulling it up to a ponytail. That sounded kind of like a boring hair, but l always remember that my father is  _Brad Pitt's twin_. It's my ego boost when grandfather tells me to pick up my face whenever I make an expression or ask why I look adopted. Never mind.

So, back to where I am.

I never really imagined the civilian academy to become some kind of  _riot school_. I thought they behaved much like the shinobi kids, a little dumb but way more mature than this. Maybe I have high expectations in life. Besides, this part of Konoha, these types of normal kids, weren't really shown in the series, not even a bit of a slip, so nobody really knew what stuff goes on in here.

I think I'm the first person to actually be seeing and living it for the first time. I mean, this is what people who end up here should be doing. Discovering sides no one has ever seen before, the simple lives. They shouldn't be venturing out in the wild to hunt down the predator. But, it would be nice if I wasn't here too. I'll say it again,  _I hate kids_.

"Mom, I change my mind." Mother, who came to support me, looked down at me with a raised eyebrow. "I don't want to educate myself in a place with  _wickedly vile, demonized creatures_  of the dark world."

"'Yuri-chan," she chastised, "These are your friends now. And can you please stop describing them like the monster a year ago? It's not very nice."

"I wasn't."

"Don't lie."

"Demonized creatures is another term for  _children_ ," I grimaced, hoping to one day self-combust with all these things I have to go through yet again. You know, school really isn't the place for me. This life could have been fun if I wasn't mentally matured or if there was even another school around here that did not represent a league of tiny evil creatures.

Father, who was also with us since he had a free time to spare right before going to the seas again, just ignored my last comment, shaking his head in surrender, "Anyway, 'Yuri-chan, I think it's time for us to leave."

He crouched down to my level and put a hand on my shoulder in a comforting manner, "You're a big girl now and I know you can handle a lot on your own already. There may be a lot of mean kids in here and you may not come home with the same face but with broken bones and bald-"

"Dad, chill, I'm not going to be tortured in here."

"-,still, we want you to make a lot of friends," Mother continued, "You never really got along with your cousins because you did not share the same dream as them."

I sighed, "I don't really have a choice."

After they kissed me their goodbyes, I was completely all alone now.

I walked my way inside and passed the halls to find the room I was assigned to. It was easy enough to find. The school grounds weren't all that complicated and it has only a single floor. It wasn't needed to build a big school for the type of kid I belong in, with no ninja motivation, since the population size was three times lower than that of the shinobi academy.

And so here I am, standing in front of my designated room. With a lot of them  _snotty_  kids waiting for their prey just behind that simple sliding door no one sane enough should ever open and walk into. I slowly reached for the handle, praying over and over that these kids did not come up with a childish school prank this early. Not now, you tiny monsters, not today.

Ever so carefully, I pulled the door a bit to the left to peek at the strange new gremlins I'm going to be mixed into. I was also checking above me just to make sure there wasn't any pail of water that signalled the demise of anyone who dared enter. Obviously, these kids weren't the prankster, Uzumaki Naruto, but hell, there are a lot of carbon copies of him roaming around in a sea of children with varying shapes and sizes, the signboard ' _stupid'_  floating above their heads.

A lot would probably think I'm a bitch, judging kids like I was perfect. Well, yeah. I probably am.

"Please do enter, child." I jumped as a voice from inside called, an echo of irritation coming from it, "Do not be afraid."

I fully slid the door open since a teacher was present and I'm guessing he was already irritated by the fact that he needed to constantly keep intact the daily dose of sugar rush from children. A girl who creepily peeks inside his class like a peeping tom shouldn't add up to the stress of today.

"Uh, good morning,  _Sensei_." The Japanese term for 'teacher' rolled off my tongue strangely, never really getting used to implement the local language as binds of honorifics even though I speak it. "I think I'm late."

"Yes, I believe you are. Now please come forth and make yourself known, dear." He spoke to me in that weird ancient accent used by my grandfather sometimes when he talks to Auntie Kanari about that stuff I think I didn't give a lot of shit about to pay attention more.

I don't know why, but Sensei awfully sounds like Gandalf speaking and it's a bit funny.

"What are you grinning about?"

"Nothing," I forced the smile that unconsciously bubbled up and maintained a straight face while I faced my now classmates who kept looking at me like I was demented and some kind of new alien species.

I cleared my throat and spoke in monotone, "Good morning, it's Ketsueki Sayuri, by the way. Please take care of me."

There wasn't really any need to communicate or try hard to become best friends with these people. Not because I think they aren't even real. I have come to terms with the fact that these people also bleed and burn and they are very much breathing when I met my family. It's probably because I think there isn't really a big importance in creating a big circle of friends when that circle, in the time of war, is going to one day become a circle of death. Besides, these kids probably don't need another unmotivated six-year old to cram up to their friendships.

But if someone wanted to be friends, I think it's fine. There was no reason to push them away because they don't really pose as a threat or is canon-based. It's fine and it's close to a normal life. But I still hate kids, no changing that.

"You may take your seat, Sayuri-chan," Sensei pointed to the topmost desk, in between two children who I presume would be my seatmates for the rest of the semester.

A certain girl with ash-blonde hair, situated at the right of my soon to be desk, has her lips twisted in a snarl, her chin angled up confidently, and her blue, startling eyes looking at everyone like they are below her. Situated at the left, there's that ginger-haired dude who equally looked unmotivated as me, his head almost dropping from where it's positioned on his open palms, probably because he thinks I'm too boring to even be paid attention to. They don't really look so happy to be sitting with me. Well, not only them, but a lot of my classmates are producing hostile looks. I don't even know why.

I moved up to where Sensei dictated I should be seated and settled in quite uncomfortably between the two kids I sure hope wouldn't come and bite me. There were a lot of whispering and glaring going around and I don't know what problem do they have with me. I just got here. I mean, give me a break. It'd be way easier if they'd just spit it out and not shoot me invisible daggers through their eyes.

So, I just spent an hour of class feeling holes burning through every part of my face. I'm getting kind of fed up now, I mean, what's with all the prejudice going on?

"Are you wondering why they're looking at you that way?" I turned my head to side to find ginger-haired's hazel-brown eyes staring at me. "It's because of your relatives and also a bit about you."

I snorted, "What'd my relatives do? Ate their favorite dogs?"

He went dead silent, contemplating the words I responded with. "...What?"

"Never mind."

"Your relatives are all shinobi, that's why." An exasperated blondie caught my ear and I turned towards her to find her rolling her eyes at me.

"So?" Well, I'm sorry pretty face, I really don't know where this conversation is actually going. "I don't see the big deal."

She rolled her eyes yet again and gave me a nasty snarl which probably is the bitch-face version of 'duh'. "The  _big deal_ is that you had the chance to actually go to the ninja academy and guarantee graduation because of the ninja background of your relatives in your family tree, even though you lot are from a normal family. You will be allowed to go there. Unlike a lot of us, we don't have that chance because our parents think we're still kids and we can't handle ourselves. I mean, I know we are not from those stuck-up clans, but they know we can get stronger. With you, you just wasted it."

"You know, that was a really long speech, but how do you even know I didn't get forced in here? How do you know that I didn't want to become a ninja?" But she already put her hand up in a manner to shut me up like some kind of drama queen and is probably going to ignore me for the rest of, well, the whole semester that we're beside each other.

"Oh, that's easy," ginger-haired chimed in instead, "Word travels fast in civilian areas about the girl who kept saying she didn't want to become a shinobi. You say it everywhere you go, to everyone you meet. It's impossible to  _not_  remember that annoying type of person."

Wait, What? I'm actually famous around these bunch of people? What do you mean I say it to everyone?

I furrowed my brows at him, "I don't say that every time and every waking moment of my life." I mean, come on. Who does that?

"Yes you do," he dragged, already finding the conversation boring, "I met you last month with your okaa-san when you both were roaming the place and one of my friends playing ninja invited you in the game but declined anyway saying you won't because you weren't even going to become a ninja."

You know what's odd? The fact that I really don't remember him at all. Or most of the people that I meet in daily life aside from the family whom I always see. I don't know if it's my memory failing me or I just don't care at all. I'm leaning to the latter. It's more believable. But that still doesn't explain why the hell they should be glaring at me. In a more righteous manner, first of all, they should be shooting daggers at the people who wouldn't allow them entrance to the academy or grant them the assurance of graduation. Please, anyone can do that without shinobi blood background.

The second thing is that, my not becoming some warrior defying the laws of freakin' physics is my problem and not theirs. If I don't want to do it, then I really don't want to do it. There is no need to push me to the direction of what they assume as the 'enlightenment zone' where you find yourself and shit. If they want to climb on and have the longest ride to death then that's their problem and not mine. There is no need to view me as some kind of dream crusher that demotivates them to do stupid stuff. I wasn't a role model and neither are they. They can go ahead and do the sparkly eyes at the Hokage. I'm out.

I rolled my eyes at the ginger-haired boy and turned my head to the front, much like what blondie did before she decided to end our little convo. "Well, if that's the case, I don't see why I shouldn't disagree with becoming a ninja. People have their own opinions about life. If they want to play hero, let them. If I wanted to be normal, let me." I let out a deep breath, " _Kids_ are so complicated. That's why they're not my favorite type of living thing."

"You do realize you're a kid too, you know."

"Yep. But way mature."

"It doesn't matter. You're  _still_  a  _kid_."

"Whatever."

"It's Eien Kibo, by the way," a lollipop outstretched infront of me and I gave him the most deadpan look my face could ever come up with. "Aren't you going to take it, Ketsueki-san?"

And me, being someone that can't resist lollipops, shot him a glare, "Fine. But only because you were smart enough to figure out that I like lollipops."

"I didn't figure that out. I really didn't know. But anyway, does that mean we're friends, Ketsueki-san?"

Well, of course I took the lollipop he outstretched. These are delicacies that I don't bother ruining my teeth for. "You can call me Sayuri."

And the next thing that happened, much to our chagrin, was the sound of a slow round of applause oddly coming from the front, soft palms slamming each other to echo across the room. "If you're quite done, Ketsueki-san, Eien-san, can I procede now to my discussion?"

The whole class roared in laughter, even blondie beside me was bobbing her head in pure delight at our embarrassment, and the only thing I can do is roll my eyes and brush the humiliation away as Kibo scratches his neck, his cheeks reddening. Soon, Sensei chastised the class and he continued to discuss the History of Konohagakure no Sato, which I totally missed the first part.

Oh, well.

* * *

The door to the Hokage's office opened as a woman who is in her mid-30's appeared before the leader in a humble manner. Her face glowing with the news she was about to bring about a certain girl.

"Kanari." The Hokage nodded absent-mindedly to acknowledge her, "I believe you come here for something important?"

Sarutobi, the Third Hokage, had just lost his student's most formidable shinobi yet to ever walk the face of the earth. A year has passed since the attack of the Nine-tailed Fox, yet the scars of yesterday can never be healed through time. It takes a lot to cure the whole that parted him from carrying on smoothly in life. He was feeling old. He is old. And he was tired from everything that paved war and depth of evil. But he is also a leader. He needs to carry on. Needed to.

"It's about my niece, Hokage-sama," she bowed his head lower.

"Your niece?" The Hokage tiredly sat upright, hoping to appear attentive at the situation to be brought at hand by a Ketsueki shinobi. "What is it about your niece?"

The Ketsueki family, isn't a clan. They were just distributed blood from other civilian families or clans. But none of them really married into a shinobi clan. Perhaps, it was just a coincidence that they didn't have that much of a liking towards power. They were a family that is recognized loyal to Konoha after all. Each and every one of them are ninjas or soon to become ninjas. It was their legendary dream. You can't really find a Ketsueki that isn't a ninja, well, except Shima, Asuno, Akira, and their daughter, Sayuri. They were an odd Ketsueki family. Very different from the rest of their relatives.

The things they know about that group of Ketsueki wasn't all that much, but it was enough to consider them as people that is unlikely to become a threat to the village. Asuno is a fisherman and his father, Shima, had been a fisherman too. They were famous at sea. Akira is so unlike her sister. If Kanari is a hardworking shinobi, dedicated to the village, Akira is fine with being a housewife and she never really gave much thought to fight for something ever since she was a kid. At first, it sent warning bells, ANBU was requested to monitor her for months, but when they did not find anything suspicious and when she got married, they terminated the idea that she is a threat.

As of Sayuri, he admits the little girl has potential.

An ANBU once reported that when he was observing the district they were in, monitoring every person in the place for any suspicious movements, a little girl with brown hair, beside Ketsueki Akira, looked up to where he was carefully and expertly hiding to make eye contact with him. It was only for a brief second, but it was a noticeable enough for a trained soldier to catch the movement and deduce that the girl had sensor skills even if it's only a bit. It happened a lot of times from there. It was something to develop. The ANBU also mentioned that the girl can only sense him when he is a meter and nearer away from him. Sadly, it was also reported that said child didn't want anything to do with becoming a shinobi. It wasn't anything to force upon.

"I think she may be a prodigy, Hokage-sama," Kanari states, almost in a hurry.

"And why is that?"

"She speaks too maturely for her age. It's like her mind is way older than her body. She speaks like she knows what is out there even though she has not seen it yet. And I know she has her stupidity in the way, but her mind, she is aware of what is happening. She doesn't dream like the other kids to become this ninja to save the whole world. She knows how to be scared. She didn't underestimate the weight of becoming a ninja at all."

"Prodigies aren't defined through mental capabilities only, Ketsueki-san," The Hokage stated simply, not buying the claim of a civilian girl with no clan whatsoever to be somewhat prodigious. While it is true that Sayuri can sense and can probably do instant calculations about life, deducing factors that inhabitate it, it is not the common shinobi standard for a prodigy. "She needs to learn how to fight like a prodigy too."

"You can give me time to train her while she is in the civilian academy, studying, and I swear she can become a capable shinobi, Hokage-sama," she pleaded, eyes desperate.

He sighed, "Kanari, your niece does not want to become a shinobi. I am sure you are well-informed. And how do you expect to make her a shinobi?"

She couldn't answer. "Why do you want this so bad, Kanari?"

Her thoughts were swimming into labyrinths of everything that's going to go wrong if this didn't happen. Soon, she perked up and made eye contact with the Hokage, eyes burning with determination. With her eyes closed and heart beating rapidly, she tried to compose herself, hoping something would come out from this.

"While being a ninja may be something that kills her, it's also the only thing that could save her."

And so she began to tell him everything that will lead to her little niece's demise if the cards weren't played out right.


	7. A Friend and Pranks

_Dance with the waves,_

_move with the sea._

_Let the rhythm of the water_

_set your soul free._

_-Christy Ann Martine_

* * *

"Very well," The Hokage finally said, "But on two conditions, Kanari."

"Yes, Hokage-sama. I will only follow your will."

"I will only give her a year." He stood up from his position, eyes penetrating her form. "If we find out that she can't take it, we'll come up with another solution."

To be honest, he didn't completely agree with this. Her niece deserved her own choices, not something that will be forced upon her, but there is really nothing else to be done. The situation she was in is too severe to not be paid attention to. He was Hokage and he knows that sometimes, if you want to protect someone, you have to risk the trust someone gives to you. And a lot of times it was all or nothing.

"And she must not know," he added, "She must not know until your task is complete."

Kanari nodded, content with how their discussion ended with the thought of her niece tied with the predicaments she long wished she will be binded with.

* * *

"Kibo, I don't care."

I grumbled under my breath as he cackled about how the kids here in the civilian academy just recently, and  _secretly,_  stuck a piece of  _gum on my hair_. The freaky daredevils sure have a lot of guts to challenge someone older than them. Well, I know they don't know that, but seriously? Gum?  _It's too immature_.

_What the hell do you expect in this place? Tsk._

"Sure you don't." And he cackled more. "You do realize your face is really red now, right? And you look at them like you're going to spit fire."

I glared at him and that shut him up.

It was lunch break and everyone's out and about eating their prettily packed lunches and so am I and Kibo. Everyone except a bunch of kids who had nothing better to do than sticking stupid stuff in other people's hair.

"Well, it's not that bad." He grabbed a bunch of my now above shoulder-length hair, which used to be an inch below my mid-back, that I cut after the suffering I endured with stupid kids and their stupid pranks.

This happening to me is like the cliché bullying moments back in preschool and a lot of times, when teenagers run out of ideas, high schoolers can get really childish. "I'm going to get them back for this, oh, they just wait."

He raised an eyebrow at me, "I thought you said you didn't care."

"I change my mind. Children should learn their lessons." He didn't answer. I just glared at the children who were now laughing, probably about me and a bunch of other girls they tormented, hoping I could have superpowers to burn holes through their face. These kids' parents didn't really do a good job at raising them if they grew up to be somebody who you'd love to punch in the face.

I turned my head to face my companion of the day, "So, are you in?"

He just looked at me incredulously, like it was the most stupidest thing he heard today, "Sayuri-chan, seriously?"

I nodded, "Yep. As sure as I can ever be. I stretched out a hand, hoping he'd help me get my dignity back from a bunch of six-year olds. "Come on, Kibo. It's going to be the best prank that ever walked the face of this world."

He shook his head as he rolled his eyes, forcing himself to take my outstretched hand that will formally bind the event that will soon be written upon history's most favored occasions. And we'd be rocking it too. And I know I'm being too immature right now but sometimes a girl's got to do what a girl's got to do. Well,kind of. Never mind. We're just going to do it.

"So, what's the plan?" He leaned in, just enough so that he could hear my low voice. I smiled wickedly, "Well, let's start with..."

And so I laid out our plan that will send those bullies crying to their mommies later. Oh, this is going to be fun.

There were a lot of things I learned about Kibo in just a matter of hours. First is that he shared the same favorites as me such as lollipops, barbecues, ice cream and other stuff that isn't too sweet. He likes reading, but I don't read. I study. There's a big difference right there. And he really likes the color green. It's so obvious, too. Whether it's his pencil case, pencils, lunch box, you're going to see lots of nature-themed stuff there. I have never seen anyone have so many green things, other than plants, in my whole life. Not even my past life as  _Lori._  I mean, I didn't really think anyone can love green that much.

Oh, and he hates pink.  _A lot._

He didn't actually originate from Konohagakure. He said he didn't want to talk about where he came from before moving with his cousin's family. He talked about his cousin a lot. He said her name was Inari something. I forgot her name. But I know that his cousin was someone very dear to him, well, not in a romantic way because that'd be weird, obviously. He treats her like his little sister even though she's like, three years older than him. How do you even do that? Who knows.

His aunt and uncle was also a delight. Atleast that's what he said. "They were good people", he closed his eyes, his smile strained. And I can't figure out why he chose to use the past form to describe their personality or how they are as people who served as his second parents. I wasn't really the type of person to push through a topic that sounded like a highway to angst. So, being a good friend who doesn't want to relive his probable bad memories of the certain topic, I strayed to a new subject.

It's been a while since I had someone to call a real friend I made that didn't hang out for the sake of hanging out. It's been a while since I remember the feeling of belongingness in one person just like how it was when my cousin of my past life didn't turn to the fancy life. It's been a while to ever name something that I have now as 'a start of a bond' or 'friendship'.

And my god, it's from a  _kid_  too. How did I end up in this situation again?

And I think maybe it's because he talks like me. I mean, his speech is very good for a six-year old. I was thinking that he may be labeled as some kind of prodigy if he ever did enter the ninja academy. Or is he actually not six? I don't know, even if I uncovered some of him, there were those deepest parts I feel whenever he says something that I probably wouldn't want to get tangled up with.

"So, what's the name of that bully again?" I pointed to the guy sitting on the grass, his disheveled hair looking like a bird's nest under the setting sun. And he was just  _right there_ , laughing with those kids I'd gladly throw to the  _Texas Chainsaw Massacre_  timeline. That guy must be their leader.

And hot damn, he was really ugly. If he stands next to me he will look like an eggplant. I mean, not to brag or self-proclaim myself as someone really charming and pretty, but come on, my father looks like Brad Pitt. I have faith in my face. Well, kind of.

"You're not that pretty," Kibo snorted.

"Oh, did I say that out loud?"

"Yes, so who is  _Buradu Pitu?_ "

"None of your business, and for the record, I am pretty. If you see my father, you'd know." I smirked at him, feeling victorious while he just rolled his eyes in defeat. "So who is that bully, your grace?"

He looked over to where I was pointing my index finger to and sighed, "That's Yorokobu Yosa. He's three levels above us." He continued to stare at him, "I'm not sure about this, Sayuri-chan. The other kids are scared of him so I think it's best to avoid him for now."

I looked at him incredulously. What, a civilian kid is going to make me pee my pants or something? Even though he's a senior, it is highly unlikely. I may be freakin' six-years old physically but I am mentally older. I am going to kick these little kids' asses until they learn not to pick on people whenever they want to. The teachers here can't even do a single job right. I'm afraid even in my past life the teachers were like, ' _Oh, you'll get over it. Just ignore them. Forgive and forget blah, blah, blah.'_  Not a lot of them but there sure is a bunch of 'em. Well, I'm changing gears.

"Kibo, are you actually afraid of him?" I put my hands on my hips as he just looked at me like I was stupid. Oh, well. "Can't answer that, can you? Well, Kibo. You better learn from Sayuri Ketsueki about the  _how-to's_  of preventing suckers like him to step on our shit."

"And how exactly are you dramatically going to plan for that, Sayuri-chan?"

"After our prank, just like we planned awhile ago, let's try and kick him out of school."

"Impossible. Too impossible, Sayuri-chan. They  _own_  this school." He shook his head and I stared at him wide-eyed.  _What the fuck._

They own this school?! But I thought the village had property over this section? I mean, it's not mentioned in canon, but I just assumed that maybe this was also established by the plans of Konoha for all the kids out there subtly avoiding shinobi lifestyle or for kids forced by their parents to come here and actually doing pretty good at not killing them. Guess not.

"Anyway, Sayuri-chan, let's not think about Yorokobu-san for now. We'll have plenty of time for that later. Let's focus on our first evil master plan to bring down those demons who ruined your hair." He looked at me and grinned.

"And that is why I asked you about this Yaso brat." I deadpanned.

His smile faded, " _Oh._ "

Yes, oh indeed. Hell, who cares if this kid's the spoiled brat of the owner of this school? There is war happening and I am officially declaring it. Nobody just messes with hair, okay. There's an unspoken rule about that.

_I really hate kids._

* * *

We were searching for the kids that needed to be taught a lesson right now. Guess it's time for the ultimate prank of world history. This is going to be something they would remember for the rest of their lives. I'm sure of it.

"Kibo," I motioned him forward, "Where is the fish?"

He hesitantly moved forward as he carried a bag of soil in one hand from which I dug up from the school's backyard. It really took a lot of effort to produce this soil. I mean, we dirtied our hands just for this. It's amazing how no one even bothered to question what we've done. Maybe it's a natural day to day occurrence so they probably don't care anymore.

He handed it over to me before collapsing to the wall behind him. "Why am I doing this again?"

"To defend my honor." I took the bag and poured all of it, smearing it to the ground, just a meter apart from the door.

"Yeah, right," he grunted, "Like you have any."

I ignored him, but instead focused on the group of kids behind the wall, just outside the classroom they were currently having some kind of group discussion with. We were just waiting for them to come out of the room. I don't know what's taking them so long, but we were just dismissed like two hours ago. We were the only people in the halls left during this time. Everyone either went home or is still playing in the playground with a bunch of their snotty friends. My father or mother hasn't come yet and Kibo, I don't know. I didn't ask if he'd be picked up late today. These kids though, probably shooed their parents away for a gimmick with the devil.

I looked away and began pouring water from the stream that we raided, which has also gone unnoticed by school officials, and poured it to the floor, leaking the water while trailing it to the base of the nearest trash bin that reached just an inch below my knees. It was actually taller than me awhile ago, but we managed to topple it down and I made Kibo cut a hole big enough to fit people in at the side of the bin. He used the  _kunai_  which he found suspiciously by the swings on the playground. I don't know how it got there or if that Yosa kid owned it because he was sitting there before we found it, all I know is that it's a lucky load for us to carry out my master plan.

It is suspicious, but I don't want to deal with that right now. Besides, Kibo doesn't seem bothered by it.  _Maybe it's because he's still a kid._ Who knows, I've got better things to do. Like this, for example.

I also tied a rope just below the doorway, angling it so that whoever may pass through, he or she will immediately trip and land on their face. The rope was from the ropes of the swings. We cut it down so I am pretty sure we're getting in trouble for that.

I stuck a banana peel after the smear of mud too and that's how I congratulated myself. There is no assurance if this trick will work, but I am hanging on to the eighty-five percent possibility of it getting effective. How'd I calculate it? Oh, I did not, but judging by the form of my plan, I assumed it is higher than half.

Our plan actually was to make those kids trip using the rope, soon making them land on their faces, therefore landing on that dirt by the floor I generously laid out. If they stand up, without spotting the liquid that will soon give them a roller coaster ride to the trash bin, they will take one step or two to let that happen. Soon, they'd emerge from the building and be smelling like rats and shit. They'd be remembered and bullied for the rest of their lives by a bunch of kids on our school, too. How'd you like that the tables have turned, huh? I am so awesome, this is the best prank ever.

"This is the lamest prank ever."

I did a thumbs down at him, "Boo, Kibo! You just don't know art."

"I can do better than this, Sayuri-chan."

"And how do you plan what's 'better', huh, Kibo?" I challenged.

" _We could blow them up._ "

I almost flinched. He sounded like another person there. It sent chills to my bones and it didn't sound funny at all. It sounds morbidly threatening and I didn't like the feeling one bit. I think the best thing to do is to brush that feeling off  _for now_ , thinking he just sounded wrong to me or something. "Um, okay, chill dude. I think yours is the lamest!"

And just like that, the weird mood awhile ago lifted and he was back to normal.

"Eh, Sayuri-chan, you're the lamest." He smirked lightly and I just gave out a small laugh to lighten what was awkward before.

A shuffle was heard from inside and a series of evil laughter too. I quickly pulled Kibo to the side placidly so as not to make them notice we were there. I can feel their  _chakra_  nearing their end. All we have to do now is stand back, relax, and enjoy the show.

"Yosa, do you want to play ninja after this?"

"It's  _Yosa-sama_ for you,  _baka_!"

"I'm really excited for what we will do to Toma tomorrow!"

"No, we should look forward to Kito's face when he gets it!"

"Oh, yes. He was about to cry when we ate his lunch awhile ago!"

"Shut up, you idiots!"

Then the door opened and what we have all been anticipating has finally taken place. That big, bad bully, Yorokobu Yosa has finally fallen. And I mean  _literally._ He tripped on the rope and soon, his minions followed suit. Once they realized that they were dirty, they all struggled and soon they were all standing up now,  _trying,_ with their mud-covered faces and Yosa immediately slipped on the banana peel, grabbing one of his minion's shirt for support, making the both of them fall and slide on their butts following the trail of water and then,  _GOAL!_

They're officially thrown to the modified trash bin.

I cackled wildly as a  _very furious_ Yosa spotted me and Kibo by the sidelines, finally, as he tried to get out of the situation at hand.

"You!" He pointed at me, his finger shaking with open incandescence. "You have the guts to take me on, you  _shorty!_ "

Kibo only facepalmed, "Sayuri-chan, you are the stupidest. You do realize that this means war between you and Yorokobu-san, right?"

"Then let the battles begin!" I was supposed to fist bump the air when a very big hand suddenly enclosed my very small fist. I sensed the chakra.

It was Auntie Kanari.

I scowled, "What are you doing here?"

"I'm going to pick you up, brat," she gave me a wink.

What's with the wink? Why is she here? Mother said she'd be the one to pick me up. And I thought father said Auntie Kanari was on a mission again beyond the borders. That's what they discussed over breakfast anyway. It was only bits and pieces, but I figured what they were trying to say. So, how come she's here?

"Why are you the one picking me up?" I demanded.

"Why? Don't you want to see your pretty Auntie?" She pretended to be lonely, but stopped it once she saw I didn't seem to look like someone that gives a shit. "You're really mean, Sayuri-chan. You should really start being nice since I lend you those books and don't you think you need someone to keep a secret from your parents about what mess you've been making in school? I watched all of it you know. Cheeky little brat."

_Why would she watch me?_

"One, I did nothing wrong, they're the one that started it with putting gum on my hair and I just did the most sensible thing to bullies like them-"

"Yes, I've noticed that," she nodded while observing my new haircut, frowning.

"Two, why were you watching me?"

She sighed, "I was watching you to keep an eye on you because you might hurt yourself."

" _Bullshit._ "

She flinched back with the sudden vulgarity coming from me but immediately recovered. "Can we not talk about it here, Sayuri-chan?" She gave one glance at Kibo.

I crossed my arms, "Whatever you have to say, you can say it to me now. Right, Kibo?" I looked at Kibo who was now looking away while scratching the back of his neck.

But whatever he had to say was cut off when suddenly Auntie Kanari grabbed me roughly by the shoulders and shoved me to her back, carrying me out of the window and away from the academy. I had one last glance at the kids that remained which were now gaping at us like we were stuff from a museum. I punched Auntie's shoulder, but she didn't let go.

"What was that for?!" My face burnt red from rage. Nobody just shoves me like that and flies away!

"Those were not for their ears, Sayuri-chan," she seriously stated.

I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion, "What the hell do you want to tell me anyway that makes it illegal for kids to hear?"

"Stuff only you have to know."

"What the hell is it?!"

She exhaled one long breath and turned her head to look me in the eye. "I'm training you."

_What?_


	8. Suspicions

_I'm not surprised you can't set sight_

_On how your life should be_

_Because our lives are largely shaped_

_By forces we can't see._

_-Ms. Moem_

* * *

"The reason why I was the one who picked you up is because I wanted to have a chat with you about something."

Auntie Kanari apparently brought me to an open space somewhere in a forest that I don't recognize. I'm going to assume it's one of her training grounds she recurrently goes to due to the fact that I spotted some kind of target board attached to a nearby tree and then there's another tree with a big red circle drawn on its trunk. Also, a bunch of  _kunai_  and  _shuriken_  are scattered right at the base of it. Positively some ninja shit was going around here. And I happen to be sitting anxiously on that particular base, wondering if my own aunt is attempting to kidnap me or something. She's a great aunt, I just don't trust her.

"Yes, and I assume it was what you mentioned earlier," I said, fidgeting in my seat. "Training, was it, Auntie?"

"Yes."

What the hell is she even talking about? Training for what? Gardening? Weeding? Kissing? (No wait, that's weird.) Flying Paper planes? Training to be a housewife at an early age just like my mother? Forging a signature? Cartwheeling? Acting? How to wake up in a dream? What? I swear she's really bizarre these days, bearing in mind the fact that she's now watching every move and picking me up. It's hell of uncanny. And I've said it before during my last birthday.

"Well, what exactly about are you going to train me?" And I swear I have a bad feeling about where this conversation is going.

"I'll train you to fight. Look after yourself.  _Jutsus_. Things that shinobis learn." Her face was stoic, but her chakra feels warm. It's like she doesn't even feel concerned about my reaction to this or something. She's perfectly living a well-adjusted life and not mulling over the fact that I may probably have been muddled about what she is trying to imply and I'm just really hoping that I misunderstood or misheard her there.

I just crossed my arms in a defensive stance, "Auntie, I'm not going to become a shinobi. I thought that we've been over this."

Seriously.

She shook her head in response, "You  _aren't_  going to. Sayuri-chan, this training is for your own good. I have thought about it for a while now and I have realized that while you may have said that you would be contingent on me for protection, I may not always be there whenever you call my name. That's why I am here right now to teach you things that you may sooner or later won't need me for."

She gave me the eye, daring me to object her logic. She knows that I know what she is talking about. I know she's right, but really? I have to do this? Okay, she does have a point, but I am so not engrossed in this idea. Aside from the fact that I am a bit lethargic as hell about physical exertion, I observed the way her pupils almost quivered like they were trying to look away when she said I wasn't going to become a ninja during this training stuff. It didn't seem like she's lying, but it's really making me suspicious because something is there that she can't seem to say.

"I don't want to," I said, a nonchalant sense of finality in my words.

"You really can't refuse, brat," she simpered, looking really pleased with herself. "I had a talk with your parents about this and they wholly granted me the blessing to teach you resistance. They can't have their baby girl running around, crying whenever a war breaks out and no one is there to save her. Right?"

My jaw literally dropped. Of course I understand that my parents were concerned, but I just thought that they too didn't trust Auntie Kanari with me. She was always out and about bothering my family and they always look stressed out to see her. Either they really agreed to and Auntie Kanari is paved with good intentions or she's  _lying_.

" _No_. Now take me home." I pressed, ignoring her, eager to talk to my family about this nonsense Auntie is sprouting about.

"Sayuri-chan…"

" _Just take me home for now,_  okay!" I yelled, already starting to feel the stress, "Why are you all pushing me too much, annoyingly making decisions for me. I still need to think about your suggestion,  _okay_? I want to talk to Mom and Dad and confirm all this."

She flinched from my outburst. "Don't you trust me, Sayuri-chan?"

"Obviously,  _no_!" I huffed. There was no other way to let this out, I was already standing on the borderline of the  _Suspicious Activities of Auntie Kanari Belt_.

"Look, Auntie. Honestly, I think you're great. It's just that you've been really strange over the year. For the most part, it started after I ended up borrowing your books. You're always there, I've noticed all your stares and you also low-key force me into the ninja business whatever. Every time I see you, my red flag is up and I don't know why. Who knows what you're trying to do, manipulating me or what, but the point is you're  _really_ getting suspicious."

After a lot of explaining, I found myself panting, inhaling air as she just stood there shell-shocked about the biggest revelation that suddenly popped out of her niece.

Once she recovered, she began to crouch to my level, placing a hand on my shoulder. She laughed, but it was a friendly one. "Oh my. I'm sorry, 'Yuri-chan, I didn't know you feel that way."

Then she grabbed me,  _again_ , and huddled me to her back. I almost kicked her face for that surprise movement. I was about to scream bloody murder when she suddenly turned her head to me and still has that friendly smile on her face. "Fine. We will talk to your parents, let you decide, and then we can go on with our lives, okay?"

I just nodded, attempting to be snobbish, "Whatever."

We sped up, jumping from tree to tree, while I was rooted to an uncomfortable and dangerous position of a piggyback ride behind my aunt. The wind, I now paid attention to unlike awhile back, is freely hammering my face sharply and they combined forces with my hair too, to pest my face further. I was beginning to wonder if there is any way possible to ever hit the wind back for its rudeness.

"Sayuri-chan." She called and I spun my attention to her instead of the bothersome breeze.

"What?"

"What you did back there. That was dangerous." She said in a low voice.

"What is?"

"The part where you yelled that you didn't trust me."

I gave her a muddled look, "What are you talking about? I just said my feelings, okay.  _The truth will set you free_ , they say, and it  _did_  set me free because now you're finally considering your actions. And it's not like you're the type of suspicious that's, like, held a grudge on me you'd attempt murder."

She sighed, "That's not it, 'Yuri-chan. What if it wasn't me you were talking to and it was another strange person? They will take what you assumed as some kind of trigger that you actually do know that they really can't be trusted. They'd  _kill_  you on the spot."

A heavy air of alarm sent tremors down my body as I realized that she was actually right. So, I almost  _died_? I cleared my throat as I shook my head, masking my discomfort, "So, what? I mean, it didn't happen, right? Let's get a move on."

"This is something you need to learn, 'Yuri-chan. This world is dangerous." She spoke in a cautioning manner.

"I know that." I rolled my eyes. In fact, I've known for quite a long time now. Well, undoubtedly a year at most, since I was five years old when I figured out about where I just got tangled up.

"I know you do."

* * *

"Mom, Gramps, I'm home." I ran inside, already hungry from all that air torture I just experienced.

" _Okaeri_ , Sayuri", Mother greeted me by the door. Gramps is inside by the table, getting ready for dinner.

" _Tadaima_ , Nee-chan, Shima-san." Auntie Kanari disposed her shoes and went inside shamelessly, taking a seat beside Gramps. "Your husband isn't home yet, Nee? He's probably still out fishing."

But Gramps just glared at her, annoyed, "What are you doing here, Kanari? And you had the brevity to say ' _Tadaima_ ' as if this place is your home."

But she just grinned at him, " _Pfft_ , don't be such a  _loser_ , Jii-san. Besides, I did pick up your granddaughter from school. She wants to talk to you by the way." Gramps just snarled at her to make her shut up.

I rolled my eyes at them and just sat infront of Gramps while Mom took the seat beside mine. The meal today was delicious. Served on our table is  _Teriyaki Salmon_ that is cooked in soy sauce, sake, and mirin and  _Omurice_  which is in fact, omelette rice Apparently,  _Japan_ , although it doesn't exist here in this world but the culture is followed very accurately, has the  _best_   _food_  in the whole wide world. For me, that is. That and my mother is an absolutely great cook. She should be winning  _Master Chef_ for this.

I was enjoying my meal when  _Brad Pitt_  burst into the front door, a smooth ' _Tadaima_ ' coming from him as we all grinned, except Gramps, to reply ' _Okaeri_ '. Yes, I still can't get over the fact that my father in this life  _is_  a  _superstar_.

"How'd the  _east sea_  go, Asuno?" Mom inquired.

He looked tired as he gave out a groan, "It was troubled water. We all barely made it out alive. No one was harmed. Shinobi came to assist the borders, but we were prohibited to catch until the coast is cleared of enemy-line entering through complicated water techniques."

We all gasped at the news.

My father  _almost died_.

"But no need to worry," he scratched the back of his neck, "Like I said, no one was harmed. It's all going to be fine. Though no fishing for a few weeks, I guess, due to precautions. I think we'd stick with the market for now."

What you mean  _no need to worry_? HE ALMOST DIED. I could have lost my superstar father this day. He could have not come home and tasted the luxury of my mom's culinary. He could have not said ' _cheerio_ ' to me for the last time. I probably couldn't have any more to assure myself that I'm not ugly because my father is  _Brad Pitt_. I could have lost someone  _important._

 _Who the fuck_  even dared to stir some trouble in Konoha anyway?!

"Son, which is why I'm telling you to be careful. Those  _bitches_  out there in the sea are trying to hook us up with  _Madara Uchiha_ , I tell you!" He said in the most self-assured voice that it was indeed  _Madara Uchiha_  that dared shillyshally this village. I just face palmed, now forgetting what my father just experienced.

Mother and Auntie Kanari just sighed and ignored him and his obsessed accusations towards a certain _Sharingan-weilder_.

"Well, aside from all that," Auntie began, "Our little Sayuri-chan has something to talk to all of you about. Go on, brat."

Before I even began, Dad stopped me by taking out the words from my mouth himself. "This is about the training, isn't it? Kanari said that she'd tell her today."

Mom groaned, "I knew this would come up." She spun to face me and offered out an unhappy smile, which is odd. " _Please do_  accept the offer, Sayuri-chan. I know that you don't like it, but know that this is for your own good, okay? It's for self-defense so whenever we're not around, you can protect yourself."

"Then why are you looking sad, Mom?" I searched her face for anything that will answer my question, but she just looked down.

"Because I know this is against your wishes. Anything ninja- _ish_  is against your wishes, actually. It's just sad that you have to be forced to learn this even if it's for your own good." She then turned back to eating her food.

 _What?_  That didn't really make any sense. I mean, sure, I am lazy as shit, but I can grasp the logic behind why I should be trying to defend myself and all even if I am a civilian kid. It just totally became some kind of puzzle piece when she was all sad about me learning protocols or whatnot. No,  _what is there to be sad about_ , even? Everyone is practically hiding something about me and I usually don't care about secrets, but if I am involved in this hush talks, I  _would want_  to know since it's me they're talking about.

Gramps is continually bantering with Auntie Kanari, a good tactic to avoid a topic. Mom is eating, eager to not meet my eyes and Dad is eating fast like he's on a marathon.

" _Listen_  everyone," my voice quakes in annoyance, "I  _want_  to accept this offer since this may be of use to me especially since I'm still a six-year old kid and a lot of dangerous things keep happening. So, please.", my voice pleading, "Do assure me that  _this_ is only training and  _purely_ training and nothing else that would make me double-take on my decisions or not indulge my trust in this family anymore."

Everyone froze and I can practically feel their chakra waver into something that generates uneasiness.

"Why do you think you won't trust us anymore, 'Yuri-chan?" Dad perked up from his seat, still not looking at me but he kept a forlorn expression on his face. "We are your blood after all."

"Trust is not defined by blood." I closed my eyes and breathed heavily, " _I love you_  guys, okay? And  _I trust you_  because I love you. Whatever this secretive atmosphere around here is, I hope it doesn't break me in the near future."

"It won't," Gramps replied with full force, "Asshole brat, it  _really_ won't."

I nodded. Yes, I would take this offer of  _training_ with my aunt. I would and I would find out what they are all so sad about. I would find out what they are hiding from me, what they are making me restless about, what I am dying to know.

And the rest of them smile at me as I tried to finish gobbling up my meal, ignoring the hushed tones saying,

_INSINCERE LIAR LIAR LIAR UNTRUSTWORTHY LIAR LIAR LIAR REGR-_

**NO.**

They're not that kind of people.

_They're not that kind of family._

* * *

Auntie Kanari and I are here in school because of the awesome prank I pulled at Yorokobu Yosa and his minions yesterday. Apparently I got in big trouble for it because I just messed with the school owner's little boy.

What pathetic bull.

"You really just made me the unluckiest person in the world, Sayuri-chan," Kibo sighed beside me.

Kibo is also here, apparently. I mean, he was involved in all the revenge plan for my honor, after all. I did pull him into it but he agreed so there was really no arguments for his close to never salvageable ass. He is with his cousin who I now remember her name:  _Inari Shinko_. So she's a foreign chic too and  _shinobi_ , mind you. She seems familiar though I can't remember. She keeps yelling at Kibo and maybe that's why he feels extra whiny today, especially when he accuses me about his situation, like I just stole his monthly supply of green shirts which is the reason why I can't look at him longer than a minute because the green is  _neon_ now. What the hell is this kid doing with his life? His fashion? His taste in color? His dignity?

"Shut up, Kibo  _baka!_ I swear, you and Tenma are going to be the death of me!"

"Why is Tenma involved in this conversation, Shinko?" Kibo whined.

"Because he must have been the one to teach you these tricks and pull in an innocent girl in your devilish plans!"

" _Innocent?"_ His face looked scandalized. "And can you stop yelling?! I told you, she's the one who started it!" He pointed at me which made her hit him on the head with her fist.

"And you even have the guts to blame her!"

I just stuck my tongue out at him, obviously winning this impromptu fight.

Huh. They must have a pretty close bond to not use honorifics. About this Tenma guy though, he sounds pretty familiar, but I can't remember him. He's probably not some canon character but someone I happen to pass by at wherever maybe.

Auntie Kanari sighed, "Sayuri, really. On the first day of school and you already stirred some trouble."

"It wasn't my fault they messed with my hair," I retorted.

"It's just hair."

"Hair is  _everything_."

The equivalent of Hokage in this school, who apparently is Yosa's dad, cleared his throat, annoyance schooling his features. "I would like to request silence on behalf of this room's solemnity."

Huh. Yeah, right. Solemnity my ass. They sure can keep a single room serene when the outside of his door is pure and utter chaos. He can't even discipline his kid right. Sure, he's busy, but really? Teaching a kid some politeness wouldn't take a day.

"As what you both have done to my son, Yorokobu Yosa, that mischievous deed is below the belt and albeit harmful to the ones who fell victim for it. You broke his arm during that trick and I am afraid that it threatened the life of my son. Ketsueki-san, Eien-san, I'm afraid that there is no other way but,"

We looked up at him as he inhaled sharply. Yosa in the background, smirking triumphantly. Huh, he doesn't look cool in that expression with a broken arm. I almost laughed. Auntie Kanari just gave me the eye to make me backpedal on what situation I'd be stupidly worsening.

" _You shall be expelled._ "

What?! Oh, hold on right there, pal. "What? I'm sorry, but with all due respect, this is hardly even our fault. Sure we have some contribution to all this mess, but don't you think your son is the one who started it? I mean,  _he stuck a gum on my hair!"_

"That was just gum, Ketsueki-san and it hardly is life-threatening. It's just your hair on the line."

" _HAIR IS EVERYTHING,"_ I emphasized. Nobody seems to get that at all.

"Huh?" Aunt Kanari raised an eyebrow, "If they get expelled because of an attempt murder situation-"

"We  _did not_  attempt to murder him."

"-don't they get automatically drafted to the academy for this skill?"

"Yes, but those are just rumours." The father of Yosa replied.

I immediately panicked, there is just no way this is going to be the road to my demise. "Look, we didn't attempt to murder him-"

"Yes, because apparently you broke him  _literally_ with unseen attempts."

"-we just were trying to teach them a lesson. You don't need to expel us Yorokobu-san, I-"

But this time, a bratty airhead tried to cut me off halfway and mumbled some words that sounded weird to his father after a combustion of rejection from him, "Tou-san! I change my mind, don't expel them! They should just stay here instead. They don't need to be ninjas at all. They don't deserve to be ninjas."

 _Wait, what?_ I'm not sure but I think Yosa is just jealous that we are going to become shinobi? Huh, beats me. This is actually pretty great though. I let out a sigh of relief.

His father furrowed his brows in confusion, "But I thought..."

"No need." Yosa struggled to say the words. "I forgive them for now."

Pfft, what a jealous little bratty head. And that is how I ended up not getting expelled even though they said I almost  _killed_ someone. Also, I got to meet Inari Shinko, the cousin of that idiotic friend of mine. She smiled at me and gave me a hug, "It's really nice meeting you, Sayuri-chan! Kibo can't stop talking about you. We're really sorry that this baka caused you trouble."

I almost smirked as the fault was passed on to Kibo. Oh, well. That's his problem now. "It was no big deal. Besides, we did not get expelled anyway. No foul."

"Hey!" Kibo's voice emerged as a wailing dragon, interjecting that he wasn't part of my shenanigans. "Why is this suddenly my fault?! And I do not talk about her!"

Shinko just hit his head again. "Shut up! You should be ashamed of yourself!"

I just laughed at the both of them, thinking how nice it was to have someone that served like your sibling.

And it was really nice to meet Shinko too.


	9. Start of Perseverance

**Chapter Eight**

_No one with an ink black soul,_

_Can live for long in galore._

_Slowly Karma takes its place,_

_and no human can create a brace._

_-Ink Heart, Anoushka Jain_

* * *

"Sayuri-chan, that was too much," Auntie Kanari gave me an admonishing look. "You  _broke_ his arm."

"So?" I deadpanned. "You  _killed_  shinobi. That's even worse than what I just did."

She winced. She did not expect that retort, I can tell. Besides, what was up with her anyway? Is she going to give me a lecture about not taking good care of my comrades in this village? Not valuing camaraderie or something that builds bonds? I can feel it coming, especially since she's a shinobi. That's what they all ramble about all the time. It's not like they know what's wrong and right in this time and in this place. This shouldn't even be my lesson to learn. Those kids should learn how people work, how revenge works and how worse revenge gets no matter who they are. And I just think he really needed to break an arm.

"Listen, Sayuri, this is not about me." Her hand appeared on my shoulder,  _again._ It's what she constantly do when she's feeling philanthropic about her opinions or advices on stuff that she thinks is either my fault or something that just passed her thoughts.

"If you're going to give me an oration about how I should take importance of the people here because we belong in the same village,  _save it_." I cut her off before she can even advance to her pep talk, fully removing her arm from my shoulder.

"But the thing is,  _Ketsueki Sayuri_ ," She grimaced, exasperated, "if you weigh the gum on your hair to commit what you just pulled back there, that wasn't exactly a  _fair_  retaliation."

I glared at her, "You know, that's rich coming from  _you_."

"You know, that kid was right, though," she began, "You really  _don't_  deserve to become a ninja."

And that  _hurt_.

Because even though I don't want to become a ninja, telling someone they don't deserve a title would always sting.

I looked away, "I wasn't trying to deserve it."

"And not just because you lack the passion to do it," she heaved a sigh, almost tired, "It's because you don't know fairmindedness, do things without thinking about it, and you don't even feel bad about your mistakes."

And I just scowled and walked out at her for that ridiculous estimation.

Oh, I know about all these ninja stuff, alright. Fair? Nothing is fair in this world. These shinobi follow a man that descended to the  _highest_ place, which is the 'Hokage' title.

 _They kill for him_.

They don't think about what is right or wrong because once it is ordered, they immediately believe that it's something they just have to do to  _safety_ this village. They don't think of what will be the appropriate punishment for a certain 'sin' they committed, no. On the battlefields, they spill blood regardless of what is their enemy's history, present, or future. It was either Konoha or  _Another Rival Village_ and it depends on which side are you that they contemplate whether you live or die.

Yosa deserved what happened to him. He wasn't supposed to mess with the others. If this village really values protecting their fellow people, then they should start teaching it to bullies whether they're kids or immature adults. And they're going to learn it the hard way. No war is stopped with just an angel smile decorated on their face. They ain't Naruto, and even if they were, they still have to kick their stupid asses before a therapy jutsu does miracles.

And for the record, I did think about it. It's just that my thought process is instinctively going for the survival method resistance. Harsh or not. Depends what will come and end it.

"I'm trying to talk some sense into you, Sayuri-chan, because this is also for your own good. You're going to kill someone, and maybe even yourself, with that bad and uncaring attitude of yours, even if you're just some noncombatant girl, if you don't listen to me," she followed me when I sauntered away from her, eager to be gone from her presence and just shut her up or something.

Geez, where did my respect go? Or was I even born with it? I think not.

"Sometimes I think I was meant to kill." I randomly said while walking away.

"What are you talking about now, 'Yuri-chan?" Now, Auntie Kanari flapped her arms in surrender, straggling a meter behind me. "You know you're six, right? And even if you did break that poor boy's arm and is a genius, you're still an innocent little lily that doesn't have enough mental experience to carry out spilling blood."

Innocence? Blood? That's really funny, considering the name I was given in this life.

"Auntie, you know what my full name means right when we put it together?"

"What?"

I gave her a side-eye and just smirked,

"It means  _'blood of the white lily'._ "

* * *

"Mizumi Karu will not be attending the civilian academy starting today," Sensei, which I now know as  _Iku Sensei,_ announced in class this morning and true to his words, an empty seat was found in the front row where I believe the said student sat before dropping out or something.

"Karu?" I pondered, "Huh, never heard of him."

"Karu is one of Yosa's minions," Kibo supplied instead, realizing that my brain is failing me, "I heard both he and Yosa were declared to not be attending school anymore. I wonder why."

I didn't kill them for real, did I?

"Kibo, I didn't actually…"

"No, you idiot. That's just you overreacting." He rolled his eyes, throwing incredulous looks at me. "But I think they got into the shinobi academy."

I was dumbfounded.  _What?_ How did that even happen? How would Yosa even be accepted in that school? He had a broken arm. Or maybe they went to the hospital and did some  _iryo ninjutsu_  to help heal his arm. Who knows, I don't even care about his broken arm. All I am really deliberate about is how some bunch of bad blooded civilian kids might be conscripted into a shinobi institution.

"But, how?"

Kibo whistled boredly, "Who knows how the system works. It's complicated."

And I dropped the subject. Maybe I'd figure it out one day when I am older and the job I choose to have is to become a teacher in this school. Not like it's important, but I still would want to know where my students went after abandoning a healthy establishment or if they did go to a school that commercialized killing people.

Meanwhile, I felt eyes boring through me from my right side. I instantaneously turned and there we have my girl seatmate who still did not introduce herself since the first day, tranquilly regarding me with that disgusted look like I'm a rat in a sewer.

What's her deal anyway? I sometimes think she finds no one here better to talk with. What an arrogant pipsqueak. Well, I am arrogant in most times, but this girl, she takes it to another level with just her stares.

"What the hell do you want, princess?" I sarcastically questioned her reasons of all this eye thing she has going on with me.

Then she harrumphed, like some spoiled rich daddy's girl not getting her daily supply of  _ponies_. "Nothing. I just figured out why I dislike you so much."

"Really? Because I thought you were over that when you first saw me." I pretended to examine my nails, looking bored.

"I don't like you because you're so boring. You don't even have plans for yourself. You're always so plain which makes me feel plain. You don't care a lot."

And I just rolled my eyes and trust me, even if I did look like I wasn't listening to her, I was mentally creating warzones about whether or not I should change my ideals and approach in this life.

 

* * *

"You should really get used to the sensation of fittingly discharging the blade for perfect flight." She commented impassively.

"Fuck the free world!" I yelled impatiently as I couldn't, yet again, get any hits on some stupid target board.

You see, we were on Training Grounds number the-fuck-I-don't-care. It's deep in the forest and it's another one of those areas where Auntie Kanari apparently frequents. She said she loved this place the most because it was hidden so deep that no one can see. Their genin team found this place when they were up and about training for the Chuunin Exams and they did not want their opponents getting all peeping tom about it. At first I doubted something good would come out of a far located place but kidnapping, then Auntie just suddenly shoved me some  _shuriken_ and  _kunai_ and said I'd be using them for practice targeting or something. I think I figured I was safe if she ever turned out to be an enemy ninja with these in hand.

Well, not like I'm better than her, but it's good to know I am holding something for precautionary measures.

So, right about now she just told me to hit the bullseye, make the weapon stick to the board, and aim for it accurately.

_It was part one of training._

And I don't know if I should just pretend I'm dying with all the extra effort I have to put up with to get this thing done so she'd send me home. I mean, the only thing I played close to this was  _darts_ and I wasn't even good at it.

"Words, Sayuri-chan," she chastised.

"It's totally not my fault that this stupid weapon can't take a hit. Either it's dull or it's a fake."

"No, you're just really bad at it," she insisted anyway. "I guess it's to be expected. You just seriously began. Okay, maybe I thought you'd get this over and done with for an hour. It's been over five hours now and all you did is scratch the board."

"Well, that's because you kept pacing back and forth in front of the target like a masochist! Stop that, okay!"

"I wasn't pacing, I was guiding you while standing there and making a point. I just thought that since you are apparently a descendant of the Ketsueki family, people made for shinobi, you'd be better than this." She then examined me, probably wondering what was wrong.

I glowered, "Have you ever thought that your niece isn't actually some kind of Pokémon or something, one who doesn't get really power pro once you choose them to do this and that? I'm six, okay!"

"What is a Pokémon?"

"Fucking Uchiha Madara!" I ignored her and pulled out another one of those  _shuriken,_ putting full force on it.

"You know you shouldn't yell that name or he might hear you."

Yes and by the time he comes after me in this time of desperation to finish this smoothly and go home, I'd make him my target board instead. I really hate weapons, but I probably hate him more and his batshit crazy ass for even becoming the reason shit in this world went downhill and I had to learn this stupid stuff.

"Throw it without concern for distance or power, Sayuri-chan. Do it lightly. I can see from here how you're desperately holding on to a weapon. Let it go effortlessly." Auntie Kanari instructed yet again like I even know what the hell  _throwing without concern_ is supposed to mean. I can't even do this right, let alone  _effortlessly_.

"Are you even holding it right? Remember, hold it in a horizontal plane in the palm of your left hand and at the center hole should be your thumb."

"I am already doing it!" I yelled, tired.

When she finally had enough, she approached me and had a hand on my shoulder again, but she didn't seem to notice when I gave her the stink eye when she did it. I mean, girl, can't you take a hint? I'm already tired waving my arm to hit a stupid circle, I can't take the additional weight of your hand! Dammit.

"There are three ways, Sayuri-chan," she finally says as I exhale in liberation when she also detached her hand from me. She rocked back and forth on her own two feet, pulling back to prepare each blade to throw, "But first, you have to do exactly this stance for now since you are a beginner. You must mainstay, leaning forward on your knees for each throw, or the hindmost foot can even slither for each attempt," she threw the weapon, following her own instructions and hitting the X-mark precisely.

"The  _jikidaho_ or 'direct hit method', implicates holding the blade with the point out in the direction of the target." She grabbed another one of the  _shuriken_ and naturally threw it, hitting the three-point ring of the board. She then grabbed another weapon and hit it with accuracy at the two-point ring, after making it travel while turning one eighty degrees during its flight. "That is the  _hantendaho._ The tip should be pointing to the palm."

I stared at it in extreme aggravation. Yes, we've been through this confab about moderation skills when it comes to weaponries, like, five hours ago.

"And this is the  _dakaiten-da_ ," she continued, as she sent the shuriken flying in the air in a three hundred sixty degree turn, the points of the weapon rotating many times. "It's also known as the multi-turn method."

"You've said that over and over for the past five hours," I grumbled.

"Yes, I'm glad you noticed, now why don't you think about that and actually develop yourself since obviously, you're going to miss dinner today if you keep complaining. It's not that you don't have skill. You just don't have enough motivation." She patted my head before she scurried off to the side, probably to continue and observe me and my continuous failures.

Motivation? What is motivation for? This thing I'm doing right now? Huh, beats me.

"Listen, you might not  _want_ this," she began, "but I know you  _need_ this."

"So? And that concludes what exactly?"

"It concludes that your aspiration to do this uninspiring thing, maybe for you, is the need that drives you to learn this," she gave me an encouraging smile as I just nodded absentmindedly, already discerning what she was talking about. "Geez, brat. Still on weapon-training and you're already a handful."

So, what's missing is the  _drive of need._

Okay, Sayuri-chan, think about why you're doing this even though you're not officially a ninja and is not doing official education and is only home schooled about this stuff. Think about why you dared entertain Auntie Kanari about this tiring thing. Think about how much you love your family, Mom, Dad, Gramps and probably Kibo but he's still on the waiting list. Think about how much you want to protect them without killing yourself in the process.

Think about  _life._

Think about  _death._

I inhaled sharply, raising the shuriken in my right hand, preparing to throw it while constantly pondering what the hell I would do if I lose my few precious people. Then I let it go, with all my might, pouring the  _need_ there on that exertion. I closed my eyes as I wait for the sound that signaled the settlement of the weapon. I was pretty confident that it hit the board, I mean, I can feel it in my veins. Even Auntie's chakra swayed in something that was clearly pleased.

"Nice try, Sayuri-chan." I immediately opened my eyes and had a big grin on my face, jumping up and down from the joy of achievement. I can't wait to go ho—

"But you just hit a tree," Auntie Sayuri clapped, that applause with the feeling of something monotone and dead inside.

"Huh?" I stared at her in confusion and once she pointed the direction of where I threw the star-shaped weapon, I immediately  _deflated._

_Goddammit._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Sayuri is based from the personality that one of my friends had before he stopped being grudgy and when he was still a kid. Before, he had this classmate who wouldn't stop messing with his things in preschool and he just had enough and stabbed his classmate's hand with his own pen. I guess that's how I came up with a violent prank that the result **would** serve important in future chapters. Sayuri is created flawed. Her family is flawed. But really, thanks a bunch, guys! I love you all for reading this not-so-good story! And I wholeheartedly believe that no one could figure out why Kanari thinks that **not** making her a ninja would result in her end._
> 
>  
> 
> The shuriken stuff is from research, not mine.


	10. Friends?

_You have enough electricity_

_Inside you to power_

_A 40 watt light bulb for 14 hours,_

_So why aren't the firefly like embers_

_In your eyes glowing?_

_-Electricity, Nikita Gill_

* * *

A week has passed since that troublesome day of flinging stars at an imprudent board. And maybe endeavoring to cut off Auntie Kanari's arm if she didn't stop running around in front of it, challenging my tolerance. I do not like moving objects when doing that particular activity, okay.

So, within that week, I finally,  _finally_ , had the chance to magnificently stick a stupid  _shuriken_ and a  _kunai_ on the target, without it going any direction but the target during its airlift. I still can't hit the X-mark though and maybe luck was on my side when I accurately impaled the two-point ring twice. I guess it is progress.

Right about now, we were moving on to the next thing that would keep my body aching for possibly the next few months or even years, if I get beat up to a pulp every day. I mean, really, martial arts isn't something that I'm a fan of.

Or in ninja terms, it's called  _taijutsu_.

Taijutsu literally means  _body techiniques._ Basically it involves both your stamina and strength, combined with the endurance of physical and mental energies that will evolve through thorough and tough training. It doesn't really have to involve  _chakra,_ quite optional really, only those who have full-on pro access on it can combine that type of dynamism to their taijutsu skills.

Therefore, it's no biggie, I'm just learning how to punch people, kick the dumbasses, perhaps going on a wrestling match with another bunch of bullying kids and I'd have the upper hand.

"Can you punch? Or do you punch like a little girl?" Auntie Kanari, grinned teasingly, with all her stupid glory, irritating me to no end.

"I am a little girl! And besides, I already accomplished weapon-training like a total badass." I crossed my arms, defending myself.

"So, you got a go at the two-point ring in a week, twice. Good job, Sayuri-chan. You know, when I was six, I hit the X-mark multiple times within three days." She said, expressionless.

And just, wow, you know. I have never met anyone as conceited as her. Sure, maybe this was part of all the voodoo to further encourage me, although psychologically, into giving it my best effort and giving it my all when it comes to training. But, seriously? You don't have to shove it to my face that I am a sore loser at whatever the hell this is all about. And I did give my best. At least give the child some credit for essentially achieving the impossible, even though it's only a bit.

And for the record, if she met Uchiha Itachi, she'd be damned.

"Auntie, we don't have the same  _skills_." I rolled my eyes at her, really considering why she was born to become my aunt.

"Yes, but we have the same blood."

"That doesn't mean anything."

"So, basically I outdo you in that."

"And I outdo you in genes," I confidently said, trying to make a point.

She just raised a brow in response, "Why is that?"

"It's a secret." Of course, she can't know that I think my father is Brad Pitt. She just face palmed anyway.

"Okay, brat. I get it. Whatever." She sighed, putting her hands on her hips. "But this day better be productive, Sayuri-chan. We are, in fact, testing your physical abilities here, but first we have to do something  _extra_  to get you started."

_Oh, no._

The last time I heard that sentence, she demanded twenty push-ups from me. Of course, I accomplished that with maybe a ten-second break each time I count up to twenty. It was too much, apparently. Well, I know twenty push-ups are too easy for all the others, but I'm no sporty kid, okay. I almost gave up on my third push.

"Go run," her eyes were sparkling and I groaned, already knowing where this thing is going. ",twenty laps in this whole area! That will get your stamina up and started before going to the harsh factors."

I don't know about her, but considering she's making me do twenty laps  _around_ this training ground alone, it's already  _harsh._ The training ground isn't just some small space in a forest to occupy kiddie training troops, okay. The manga and the anime  _lied_ to you. The training ground isn't just the size of your principal's office. It's the size of a  _gym._ And I bet every place where they exert themselves to ninja stuff is about this size.

"Come on, do I really have to do that?" This physical fitness test is such a waste of my time. "What's the point of this  _extra_ thing anyway?"

"Well, for one, it helps me identify your extents on strength and what you need to develop. A more friendly term suggests that it'll just keep you physically healthy and away from feasible diseases that may or may not come your way." She put a finger under her chin, trying to think about something and then her face lit up suddenly, "Oh, yeah. I forgot! It also embroils beating yourself up in a more safe and early stage in life."

And that's when I almost decided to run away from her as far as I can. Then decided not to since it's totally pointless outrunning a shinobi.

"By the way, 'Yuri-chan," her eyes moved down from my face to my body's length, crinkling her nose in contempt, "What's up with your clothes? Those aren't training attires."

I grunted, eager to shade sarcasm on her obvious observation. Funny how she only noticed it just now and we've been training for a week. "Yeah, right. Sorry I didn't sport the same outfit as you fellow shinobi did, Auntie. It must have truly offended your grace to not find appropriate garments in my wardrobe. Pardon me,  _really_."

And I was fairly confident in my clothing, by the way, even though they aren't up to par with standard ninja costumes with all the bandages and vests and forehead protectors in the way. I have khaki shorts on, okay, and I was wearing a thick sweater too. It's really comfortable and easy to move on. I even borrowed one of my relative's (meh, I don't know him) ninja shoes for kicks so all in all, there is obviously there's zero problems on that area.

"Shut up, brat," she just exhaled noisily, "Just do those laps."

"Yeah, yeah," I waved her off as I walked to a specific area where I can get in full swing with this running exercise.

"And twenty push-ups when you finish," She added and I can't help but sneer at her.

"What the hell?!"

"Get going, brat. We ain't got all day," she then sat there and magically produced  _bento_ from the scroll she was carrying. What an aunt! She'll be making me salivate all day while enduring painful fitness tests.

"You really like the number  _twenty_  don't you?" I asked scornfully.

"Of course, I do!"

And I don't even know why she likes twenty so much, but I know why I should get started fast before she decides to do math and add stuff to her favorite number.

* * *

"You look so..." Kibo trailed as he saw me with a bruised lip, battered clothes, and with my hair pointing messily towards every direction possible. I glared at him, daring him to continue.

"Don't even think about continuing that sentence."

And the little demon smirked, a trace of humor on his face. "So  _pretty_ today, Sayuri-chan."

I hit his head. " _Ow!"_ _Hard._

That's what he gets for being such a daredevil. Auntie Kanari did make me beat myself up, controlling my pace when I was running and I had to stumble a lot of times during the process. It was such a nightmare running and doing exercises to push my body to its limits. And we weren't even learning ninja martial arts yet, by the way. How much is the upcoming suffering I have to endure when we get to that phase?

He rubbed the sore spot on his head and gave me a look, "You're so mean, Sayuri-chan. Why are we even friends?"

And I snorted, "Believe me, that's what I've been asking ever since we met."

"What happened to you anyway? You look really  _horrible_ , honestly." He raised both his hands in a form of surrender, trying not to offend me. And I just looked away, not able to look at him properly since I know I'm going to lie. I mean, Auntie did forbid me to mention it to anyone but her and my family. Hell, I don't even know why, I was just training what everybody needs to be able to do in a survival-based universe. Apparently, that was hush talk.

"Nothing," I bit my lip, tasting the blood that dried there, "Just walked into a pole."

"Yeah, right," he drawled, disbelief clearly written on his features, "Because I've heard that excuse over a thousand times whenever Shinko comes home from her ninja duties looking  _exactly_ like  _that_. So tell me, Ketsueki,"

I glared at him, not really getting used at being addressed by my last name. It sounds extra weird without honorifics too.

", are you some kind of undercover shinobi in school?!"

And I really couldn't take the look of seriousness that crossed his face when he announced that ideology, eyeing me like he just cornered me into spilling the biggest secret of my life. So, obviously, the next best thing to do was burst into avid  _laughter_.

"Hey! I'm trying to be serious with you here!" He pouted.

I patted him on the shoulder, tears started to pool my eyes as he glared at me, arms crossed. "That's really funny, Kibo, I—", I wheezed, barely able to continue what I was going to say, "—swear you're going to go far in life." I started to choke on my saliva so Kibo had to pat my back in reaction. Well, that was a good laugh for my not so exciting life.

"See the payback life gave you after laughing at me?" He scolded.

"But it was just so funny, Kibo." I argued, still feeling funny. "I mean, you do know that I don't want to become a ninja, right?"

"But that could be just your cover up so no one would suspect you," he adamantly reasoned back. "There is no other explanation for your current state right now."

I just gave him a punch on the shoulder with him scowling because of it, "Actually, that's not it. I would tell you, but I can't. It's a family secret."

"You say that as if you're part of a clan."

"Well, obviously, no, but I honor a promise when I see one."

He just nodded, "You're very mysterious, then. But I'd find you cool if you weren't so stupid, breaking everyone's poor arms like that time when you pulled the lamest prank ev-  _Ow!"_ He yelped as one of my fist connected with his head yet again, shutting his ramble up.

"That was the  _best_ prank ever. And I am not stupid."

"Yes, but you almost got sent to shinobi duty if it weren't for Yosa, you know. Also, you are  _stupid_ , little bit arrogant and insensitive, and I totally agree with Megami-san when she said you have no motivation in life." He enumerated, his voice bouncing in exasperation.

I would have berated him for that, but I was more concerned on the name he just mentioned. "Who the hell is  _Megami-san_?"

"The girl who sits beside you." He said, sounding like he didn't believe me. "You don't know Shinrin?"

"So that blondie has a name?" I inquired, not really caring. "For a second there I thought the girl you meant was you."

"Hey! I'm not a girl!"

So her name was  _Megami Shinrin_. Odd name, actually. Considering it meant ' _goddess of the forest'_  and she doesn't look so divinity-like to me. She's pretty, okay, hands down, I just don't agree with the name she's born with. With eyes that look at everyone like they're lower than the gum on her shoe, she could pass up as superior, alright. She just doesn't deserve to lead like a god.

"Well, we don't really get along, you know," I pointed.

"Yes, you didn't actually made an effort to get to know her well, Sayuri-chan." Kibo and I sat by a nearby swing in the playground as we continued to chat.

Debatably, there was undoubtedly no open game for me to  _get to know her_ well. She doesn't even like me. In fact, she didn't like me even when I still didn't categorize her as someone I would rather not be friends with. She doesn't have an open heart like  _Anna_ in  _Frozen._ I mean, you can't really 'thaw a frozen heart', I don't think reviving corpses here is legal. She's also not warm like  _Baymax._ And she's not a sweet girl, one easy to talk with. Perceptibly, the only thing that would come out from talking to her is endless criticisms and degrading stares.

"What do you mean 'get to know her'? You can't say that to me when you're not even friends." I pulled a face. "Besides, she's really hard to get to know. What, with all the sneering and stuff."

Kibo murmured, "Yes, which makes two of you."

"I don't sneer, okay. I just have a resting  _bitch_ face," I claimed.

"Okay, first of all, Sayuri-chan, we  _were_ friends. Second, we don't really talk that much anymore because you are in between us and she hates you because your dreams are honestly bland and all. When we became friends, she hated me too. It would do a fixing if you just talked to her and opened up what you think about life. She's  _six,_ Sayuri-chan. Unlike us, she can't relate with differing sentiments." Kibo explained slowly, making me understand a certain girl's behavior.

"Not only me, Kibo. She looks at everyone like she's all high and mighty." I pinned down the observation.

"She does, that's true," he admitted, "but she's just really stressed out with her family's decisions on sending her into the civilian future. She hates to be classified with us type of people. Since we're both mature why don't we understand her instead and carve a new friendship?"

Judging by what Kibo just articulated to me, I can say that it's true. She's still  _young_  to know things compared to what I understand, what, with living another forgotten life in the past. I don't know why Kibo is wise but I am leaning on to his mind with battlefield potential. Point is, the little girl's just a whiny brat who didn't get what she asked from her parents and doesn't like to play with kids who doesn't belong to the same status as her. Funnily, I don't sympathize with that attitude. I may be mature, but I do  _hate_ kids, you know. Especially that kind.

"Eh," I finally replied, bored. "I'm not going to be the one to adjust. Kids should learn their own mistakes at an early age. Trust me, that's going to get her killed one day. Best to let her figure herself out before that happens. And I'm six too. Also, I didn't apply to be her mother to  _understand_ her and all."

"Meany." Kibo stuck a tongue out at me, obviously displeased with me. "How'd I even end up befriending you?"

"I told you, it just happened. Who cares, you love me anyway."

"Whatever." Then his eyes filled with curiosity, I had to tilt my head to discern him. "But what's  _'resting bitch face'_ , Sayuri-chan?"

Oh.

Oh, boy. That's going to have a lot to do with  _Lori Anne Ferguson_.

Apparently, and with utmost relief, a flash of gray zoomed in towards us, saving me from further explanation. I barely had the chance to dodge the attack that was surprisingly aimed at Kibo's head. Kibo yelped as the form of the gray creature soon revealed herself as  _Inari_ _Shinko_.

"What'd I tell you about lying?! You said you have class today!" Shinko scolded, eyes furious.

He just scratched his neck as he tried to explain what he was doing here in the playground. "Uh...No, Shinko, I mean-I was-"

"Shut up!" She hit him once again which made him scream in pain yet again. Then she saw me and smirked, "Oh, I get it. You want to meet your little girlfriend here. Sayuri-chan, was it?"

And I just snorted, clearly disinterested. She can think whatever she wants. Besides, I didn't stoop so low and become a pedophile. Meanwhile, Kibo is sputtering, quite in shock at what his cousin just announced.

"Eh, he's not my type, Shinko nee-chan," I rolled my eyes. "Also, it's really nice to see you again."

"Aww," she purred, quite like a cat, "You're so cute, Sayuri-chan. I didn't know you miss me. How are you doing?"

"Quite well," I smiled, hoping she wouldn't point out my messy state due to the training I had. "In fact, I've been learning a lot."

"Hmm, it sure is a lot, judging by how you're so beat up." Ah, she did notice. "How'd you survive, 'Yuri-chan?"

"Oh, I didn't."

And we both laughed with Kibo hanging on the sidelines because he was still nursing his bruised head from the hits he attained from both me and Shinko.

"Hey, someone is approaching us." Kibo called, pointing his index finger to two figures rushing to our direction. The first girl is blonde and I instantly recognize her as someone I am not in good terms with. The other didn't do anything to me, but simply brought out warning bells, I almost ran if that wouldn't cause suspicion from Shinko, a shinobi of Konoha.

I don't know, my whole system just shut down quite like the Kyuubi Attack actually and I didn't even mind the distorted face of the blonde girl.

"You want to meet her? I mean, are you sure that you meant her?" Blondie continued giving me the stink eye, "She doesn't look like someone who'd do that type of thing."

"What are you doing here, Shinrin?" Kibo whined, clearly not liking the additional people.

"Shut up, Kibo! We didn't come for you," Shinrin hissed.

"I'm sure that's her, Shinrin-chan! I perfectly remember!" Brown-haired girl enthusiastically jumped up and down as our eyes connected and all I could do was stare at her, dumbfounded. "You remember me too, right?"

Suddenly I remember my promises of never meeting canon characters that did a horrendous mistake at messing up the whole plot of the world I fell in. I didn't feel so good now. I wanted to  _run_ and never get involved with this shit because once I come into this, I come into everything that will make a mess and I didn't want that. I really didn't. But there was nowhere else to run now. I'm face to face with the very promise this girl is about to break.

"Hello, again." she smiled cheerfully.

"I'm  _Izumi Uchiha._ "

With those three simple words, I immediately knew shit just got real.


	11. Focus

_Stay in focus, keep it clear._  
_And hold on to everything you call dear._  
_You don't need to carry everything,_  
_Just to understand the most important thing._

_\- Out of Focus, A_

* * *

While most of the people with a smile on their faces would be regarded as someone so kind and so pure, no single flaw would be found because they're just so nice and you can't even say bad things about them because they don't even have those. It's like searching Google up for 'Madara Uchiha is finally  _good_ ' and no results would be up.

That's exactly what I felt for Izumi, except when she smiled at me real wide looking so angelic, she appeared before me like the demon in disguise. Somehow, I started to feel that she was meeting me because this is another warning sign that worst things are about to conjure my life in the next few days.

I'm not even sure why she remembers me. We only met once, during the Kyuubi Attack and I was pretty sure that was a one-sided meeting because Izumi never really turned to my direction since Itachi came to save her instead. I even had to thank him for that. How the hell could she know me? Pretty sure it had something to do with the  _all-seeing_  Sharingan. She did have those during that time.

"No? I can't remember you. Sorry." I lied, thinking that if I wouldn't recognize her she'd go away. Sadly, that was not the case.

 _Izumi Uchiha_ is too friendly for an Uchiha.

"Aww," she pouted. Then her face contorted into that of determination. "Then I just have to show you then. Maybe that'd make your memories go back!"

Then she started wailing while pretending there's an earthquake happening beneath the ground she stood on. Probably to relive what happened a year ago. Kibo and Shinko look so awkward with an actress before their very eyes and her friend, who turned out to be Shinrin, covered her face in, perhaps, embarrassment.

"Alright, I remember!" I finally put my hands up in the air, surrendering since I didn't want to make a fool of myself by being with someone the public thought would me mentally deranged. "I get it, you were that kid from a year ago. How do you even remember me?"

Then her eyes flickered, suddenly hesitating for a while before blushing. "Well… my friend,  _Itachi-kun_ , he called you that time just after he came to grab me and then I turned to who he was calling, but you ran away."

I noticed the slight hesitation. She didn't want me to know about her bloodline limit. I mean, she is shinobi. I'm pretty sure she's already on that phase where you just have to come with trust issues. Even if you're talking to a harmless, civilian girl. That's great, not complaining, considering the era we live in. Wars and all. Also, she is in fact telling me half the truth. Her  _Itachi-kun_ , brave and kind little Itachi, did attempt to make me come with them. I just ignored it and scurried off though.  _I didn't want to meet a dead person._

"You know," her lip trembled and I backed up one step away from her. I am so not good with crying kids. I  _hate_ kids and I hate them even more when they get emotionally challenged.

"Me and Itachi, both of us thought you were…," she inhaled sharply then looked me in the eye, "… _dead._ "

"I didn't want you dead. No one should have died that time. My Tou-san, he," she started sniffing and got all teary-eyed, clearly emotional about her loss. "He  _didn't_ deserve that death. He was so kind. And I'm just so happy you're alive. Even if we don't know each other. For even if I only met you  _through my eyes,_ I see that time that you wanted to save me too. And people like that, like you, shouldn't just  _die_."

I heard her loud and clear.

She really is  _too kind_.

Izumi, as far as both manga and anime have shown, and also in this second lifetime, is someone who's empathic, compassionate, and selfless. She is still a child and maybe letting her think someone they failed to save  _died_ , is probably too much for her emotional carriage to take in. But, she's wrong somehow. People like me  _should_ die. I wasn't like her and I'll probably  _never_  be her. If I found out then and there that she's a canon character right away, I'd  _abandon_ her, even if Itachi didn't come to rescue her. I  _should_ die. And you know what, I already did. Maybe that's why I lost the  _Lori Anne Ferguson_ of before.

The sad truth is, she didn't matter to me. She'll try to save me and I can't do the same. She could die in the massacre and I wouldn't bat an eyelid. In fact, all the Uchiha could go leak blood and I'd just think it's another one of those news that I'd skip reading in Facebook.

"I'm alive now, aren't I?" I snorted, ignoring her long speech. "Don't be such a crybaby about it. It hardly matters. So you lost your father."  _I lost everything before this world._ "So you probably thought I died."  _You shouldn't care._ "Big deal."

Izumi backed away, face morphed in hurt.

"Sayuri-chan, that was too much  _again._ " Kibo shook his head, "You're  _too much_ side is showing a lot these days."

Shinrin burst into something of anger, face reddening, "Hey, you! You don't have the right to say that to my friend! She was only being nice, but you, oh, you're just so full of yourself, you Ketsueki brat! Come on, Izumi. We don't hang around with ungrateful people like her."

When Shinrin said that, I wanted to tell her to  _fix her eyes_. To fix her opinions about civilians. To fix her case of choosing friendships. I decided not to, since letting her know that she's no better than me would be a flaw that she needed to face on her own.

I shut up instead. I didn't have to deal with this.

"Shinrin-chan, it's okay." Izumi tried to calm her raging friend who is currently shooting daggers at me with her eyes. "She's right. It's no big deal. It hardly matters when some people lost more than what I lost. And she isn't dead. That's fine by me."

"Izumi!"

"Shinrin!" She yelled, exasperated as her friend paused, noticing the lack of honorifics. She calmed down and was completely content with glaring at me from the sidelines. Meanwhile, Izumi beamed again, that same smile she greeted me, which I find as some kind of bad omen. "What's your name?"

Kibo, perceiving I didn't care enough to riposte, did it for me instead. "I apologize for my friend here. She's not that nice, but once you'd get to know her she's kind of okay. Her name is Ketsueki Sayuri."

I frowned. I shouldn't be making friends with people I know would be dead after a few years. I wanted her to go away. Even if she's everybody's favorite person. Apparently my name would be something that would inspire her to keep coming and invite other characters that would disrupt my resolve.

Shinko heaved a sigh. It's the first time I heard her voice since Izumi and Shinrin jounced along my quiet little space. "Kids, I don't think this is a good idea to make friends with chibi-san here," she bumped my head with her fist and I let out a loud yelp. She didn't have to freakin' hit me. "Maybe next time, when she's not having a bad day."

Izumi just looked like a kicked puppy. "Oh, I'm sorry shinobi-san. We… we're going to go now. Maybe next time then, Ketsueki-san," she looked at me hopefully before evaporating away the area with Shinrin behind her, still cranky as ever.

"Hah,  _shinobi-san_ , eh?" Shinko snickered. "I just graduated the academy three months ago, though. I've only been to C-ranks and D-rank missions that get me frustrated. Also, Tenma graduated with me. Hardly makes us  _shinobi-san_ when we're still on zero stats."

"Yep. Keep talking, Shinko. See if we care." Kibo grumbled. "How about trying to fix a frie— _Ow!"_ He rubbed his head again when his cousin fisted him.

Shinko then looked at me with disappointment in her eyes. "Sayuri-chan, I expected you to be kinder than that. You were literally shoving her away like you're afraid of her companionship. This village doesn't work that way. If there is one thing I learnt about becoming shinobi, it's the fact that you have to be kind towards your comrades or you'd get bad blood at the battlefield."

I didn't take it to heart. But I heard her. It was what Auntie Kanari was trying to get through me all the time, only in different circumstances. Besides, it's not like I'm heading to war for me to rely on comradeship.

About kindness though,

_Konoha doesn't always work that way._

And I shouldn't too.

* * *

"Again, Sayuri. Focus!" Auntie Kanari chided at me as I oscillated my left leg at her weakly to try and hit her with it. Miserably, it wasn't working.

It's been a week now with school and all that Izumi drama and Shinrin is still, well,  _her_. Auntie Kanari and I were training myself to perfect the  _Leaf Whirlwind_ and  _Sweep Kick_ which were common taijutsu skills of shinobi in Konoha. Leaf Whirlwind is essentially something that comprises high kicks and low kicks, usually with both legs and it takes hell of a lot to get that working, resisting the pull of gravity a bit. Roundhouse kicks fit in this area. Since  _chakra_ isn't something I can access yet, Auntie Kanari still did not introduce that to me, I have to use my own physical prowess which is extremely hard. The Sweep Kick would be something that is used as bullying factors in school. Pull out a leg and let him lose his balance or something. Only difference is that it is used also in combat. Something to take them by surprise.

I still couldn't grasp the techniques, but I did land a punch at her yesterday. Also there was progress on my weaponry skills. I could finally hit the X-mark even if it only happened four times during training. Other than that, I noticed that my speed increased. Why can't it when the first thing she demands from me is running twenty laps every time. Moreover, I can say I gained a bit of muscle from the twenty push-ups and additional ten curl-ups.

"Use the strength of both of your legs, 'Yuri-chan. You're not a flower under the sun." She managed to fling her palm to my face like some wannabe Hyuuga that sent me plummeting to the ground. My cheek is probably red now.

"But I am using it!" I breathed, still continuing to attempt to hit her after standing up. I mean, what does she want from a six-year old? "I can't hit you because you're twenty years older than me!"

"Age hardly matters."

"Yeah, but body size would!" She jammed another foot of mine that would come in contact with her feet, trying to make her trip.

"Too slow," she remarked, unfeeling. "Impress me even once, 'Yuri-chan."

"I can't up my fucking game when I'm six and battling a full-time ninja, stupid!"

"Words, Sayuri! And don't call your aunt stupid!" A foot came across my stomach lightly, enough for a six year old to cope with the pain, but not enough for me to avoid. I grunted, trying to regain my balance and hit her. I could ignore my aching abdomen for now.

She dodged another leg swung at her to hit her rib cage. I should have just been a ballerina, what, with my flexibility and all.

"Remember—"

"I have tons of things to remember!" I decided to give her a punch which she swiftly sidestepped again. Stupid ninjas.

"—to focus and not think about hitting me."

"How is that supposed to help?!" I tried to avoid an incoming attack, but she was too fast so I face planted, I can feel the bruised lip beginning to swell. This is the worst day of my life.

"You shouldn't worry about you not landing a hit at me, Sayuri-chan. You should be worrying about me landing a hit on you. Focus, I tell you."

What is that even supposed to mean? I shouldn't be thinking about how to defeat my opponents but rather how to not let them defeat me? What? Although that makes a point, I still don't understand how I would apply that to my current situation where I am butchered with martial arts. I don't even remember  _Karate Kid_ heeding that advice. Jackie Chan never said anything. Bruce Lee is dead.

"Don't concentrate on everything before you, Sayuri-chan. Focus on  _you_. Breathe and  _focus_ on _you_. Open your senses not for tracing your enemies, but for guiding your attacks. Just keep your mind to your own." She gave me a solid swipe attack and I stumbled.

"This isn't a contest, Sayuri-chan! This is survival. Stop trying to beat me and go and save yourself!"

"Should I run?" I suggested, expectantly thinking that it may be the answer.

"No! You know I'd catch up." She looked at me like I was stupid. "Come on, I know you can do it."

I closed my eyes, then. I guess this helps, even if I don't really know what she's talking about. Okay, Lori Anna Ferguson, who is now Ketsueki Sayuri, breathe.

 _Go and save yourself_.

_Open your senses and keep your mind to your own._

_Don't let her land a hit on me._

I don't know what actually transpired next, just that when I was closing my eyes I was feeling the sensation of the wind on my skin and how it swayed to every movement like some form of spiritual energy, fueling my very own body. It started with the noise, then it suddenly became peaceful. I felt like a renegade of gravity then, because all of a sudden, I bounded up with my own two legs strained into a thrusting position and I thought the wind was levitating me up, drawing my leg to hit somewhat solid that I made out a loud ' _oof!'_ before coming down yet again.

I opened my eyes and saw Auntie Kanari with a forming bruise below her collarbone, splattered on the ground with her eyes wide open, staring at me like I produced baby dragons that nested her head and gave her a hickey. Okay, that's weird, I should stop. Point is, that kicking voodoo I just did surprised both me and my aunt.

"Wow," I breathed.

"Wow," Auntie Kanari repeated. "You did it. You hit me."

"I did." I looked up at her in confusion but she only smiled, looking very pleased.

"What was that?"

"That, Sayuri-chan, is what I meant when you  _focus._ "

She stood up, patting my head, a sign that I accomplished something and I can only nod, dumbfounded. "Great job. I knew you can do it." She handed me a jug of water and I immediately chugged it down.  _Finally_. I actually did something to please her.

"Can I go home now?" I panted, tired from all the kicking thing.

"Of course, geez. You're such a hurrying horse. We'll go home, but before that I have to go north to see if I can find anything to medicate your bruises. I don't really know any  _healing jutsu._ Perhaps your mother could fix that when we get home, but for now I'd help you cover all that up a bit." She looked down at me as I stared at my arms and legs armed with freakin' battle scars. My face hurt too. I'm pretty sure my hair is in a tidal disarray.

She only smirked when I frowned with disgust at my dirty clothes before heading to north and leaving me behind unattended.

 _Great_.

_"That was awesome!"_

I froze. My hand reaching for a kunai in my pocket as I heard a singsong voice from my left. I gripped it harder as a shuffling of the leaves occurred and a black-haired person, no more than three years older than me, emerged from it and put his hands up in surrender.

"Stay back!" I warned him, pulling the kunai close to my chest, ready to stab him with it if necessary. I just hope killing someone wouldn't cause me psychological problems.

"Hey, hey, I mean no harm," he panicked, backing away one step.

"They all say that. Tell me, where you watching me the whole time?!"

"Well, yeah, but..." he trailed, eyeing the kunai I'm gripping.

I scrutinized him while feeling nervousness swell inside me. Auntie Kanari just had to leave at this time when kidnappings are freakin' happening. He had messy,  _black_ hair. Probably the darkest one I've ever seen around here. His eyes were huge and had that strange almond-shaped charm. He had a pointy nose and his lips twisted in a reassuring smile. He's kind of cute like an innocent, happy-go-lucky, little warrior like all kids born with good genes. Didn't matter, I still  _hate_ kids.

He had a metal-plated bandana on his forehead with the Konoha symbol on it which made me extra cautious since this is a ninja, even if it's a kid, we're talking about and can probably kill me in one go without feeling bad about it. I examined his clothes next and I suddenly felt  _dizzy_ looking at his high-collared shirt fashion. Thinking about it made me want to self-combust and return to my old life.

Fuck.

I think I know who this  _fucking_ is.

I just knew Izumi wasn't a good sign.

"Who are you?" I demanded, though it felt weak, like I was submerging into total existential crisis just by thinking about the red and white-colored fan symbol probably tattooed on the back of his shirt.

"Well," his smile went wider, more genuine, as he skipped towards me, noticing that I was slowly putting down the kunai to my side. I went more and more light-headed as I struggled to hear his next words, that would kill my mental capacity of handling things that aren't even real to begin with.

" _Uchiha Shisui_ present! Pleasure to meet you!"

And like the color of his hair, I saw  _black. The last thought in my mind would be the best thing to precisely describe this situation._

__

_'FUCKING UCHIHAS'_

__

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **A/N:** _Fun fact: Inari Shinko is actually the first canon character she **formally** met. But she doesn't know that yet. ;) _


	12. Shisui Uchiha

_Close your eyes,_

_And find the adventure,_

_You always wanted,_

_Right between your skull._

_\- Michael Prihoda_

* * *

The first thing I did when I opened my eyes was to go and punch the person hovering above my puny form laying on a white-sheeted bed. You never know what's up every time you wake up from slumber so you'd have to be extra careful. Dejectedly, when it is shinobi you are trying to knockout, you're going to fail really bad with that blow.

"Easy, Sayuri-chan. You're too violent even when waking up." Auntie Kanari caught my fist flawlessly, giving me a scolding look.

She helped me sit up and I writhed to do so with an aching body and all. Geez, what the hell happened? I had a pretty weird dream regarding Shisui Uchiha. God, the Uchihas are out to get my mentality somehow. They even appear in dreams. In fact, why would Shisui be in my dreams anyway? A bad omen? Since when did I even fall asleep? Since when did I even get here in this white room? Is this the hospital? Good grace, someone actually had the audacity to send me here. I'm getting butchered for the past month since training with Auntie Kanari. A hospital is just what I need. If people hate hospitals, I  _love_ them. I  _love_ the smell.

But I hate the food though. In my past life, whenever I end up in a hospital, I make sure I stay far longer than necessary with all the peace and quiet. Food is just a take-out from fast food restaurants away. No problem there. And taking a bath is a must for me and they have clean ones, mind you. But I make sure to access those only when a medical staff isn't around. I'm not sure sick people are permitted for cold washes.

"What happened?" I asked her, still feeling faint. "Did I fall asleep during training?"

"No, you  _fainted._ "

 _What?_ "Why would I faint?"

As far as I am concerned, I never faint during training. In this life, the only time I collapsed was when I realized where I was a year ago. I don't see anything to strike my tedious physique. Other than an almost brain interruption from Izumi. If that Shisui dream was real I'd probably not wake up anymore. Shisui gives me the creeps. Thinking about his missing eyes and him falling down the  _Naka River_ would give me nightmares. I seriously don't want to get involved with suicidal kids.

Before Auntie Kanari could respond, my family burst into the room with expressions filled with concern. I don't know about Gramps since his face is mostly blank, but I could assume he is also worried.

"Sayuri-chan!" Mom decided to give me a hug. "When we heard your situation, we immediately rushed here." Then she turned to glare at Auntie, pulling back from me. "Kanari, we need to talk outside."

Auntie Kanari just hooted lowly and gave me a wink before following my mother, who had her eyes ablaze that it's almost scary, outside of the hospital room. "Be right back, brat."

I just frowned. I always wondered what they were talking about or arguing even. Maybe it's not my place to hear or maybe Mom's just scolding the hell out of Auntie for making me faint. But how did I even become so feeble? I  _never_ faint in training.

Dad gave me a disapproving look, not happy seeing his daughter in a hospital bed. "Sayuri-chan, what did you get yourself into this time?"

"Training, just like what I agreed with." I rubbed my temples, feeling a sudden discomfort from there. "What did the medic nins say about my condition? I assume they have made observations about me suddenly flipping off to dreamland."

" _Overexertion_." Gramps complied instead, that deadpan tone casually leering in within his words. "Both mental and physical. Also, an  _Uchiha_  boy came with you here saying that you lost your consciousness after seeing him. He claimed you must have panicked. Tch, I just knew the  _Uchiha_  are devious, even making a six-year old faint. Truly wicked descendants of Madara."

I could have been more worried about my condition, but what really caught my attention was the mention of a particular clan:  _Uchiha_. And maybe I must have misheard it, but I did not like where this tête-à-tête is going. I mean, come on. He can't tell me that Shisui dream was real. That couldn't be possible, right? I don't meet people one  _Uchiha_ at a time. That's ridiculous. But what if the reason I fell really was because of Shisui?

"This, Uchiha boy…" I trailed, looking for the right words.

"He's outside. Kanari wouldn't let him go without properly apologizing to you for making you panic and end up here." Dad explained, figuring out what I was going to say.

Then the room burst open before I could even ask who this Uchiha boy is. The person that walked in was no more than nine years old and he still had that smile, though embarrassed and apologetic, scratching the back of his neck like someone lost for words. That same appearance that showed up in my dreams. Those same eyes that had abilities, scaring the shit out of me. I only stared at him as he spoke, not hearing his words. My mind was beginning to down again.

I really am fucked.

"…so, yeah. I'm sorry and I hope we can start over again, Ketsueki-san." It was the only words I was able to grasp before feeling that same dizzying atmosphere. My eyes were beginning to blur and Shisui, that dead kid in the next seven years with a smile that would forever be marked in my head as I would hallucinate his empty eye sockets, that Shisui with the calming aura that wouldn't affect me, that  _once sweet kid_ , only stared back, but with bewilderment in his eyes.

"Ketsueki-san?" He called, tone laced with unease.

Dad, noticing my unmoving form, touched my arm and examined my face for any signs of who knows what. "Sayuri? Are you alright?"

My eyes closed, not seeming to have the energy to answer with dead kids infront of me. I think I am about to lose myself again, what, with all these crazy Uchiha fire warriors popping out of nowhere, uninvited. My head threw back against the pillow, my breathing steady as I felt myself slowly going back to sleep, away from Shisui, away from reality.

I didn't mind the calls of my name, disturbing the silence of the room. The only thing I want right this moment is to get away from it all for now.

* * *

I was out training for most days, whether it be weapons or taijutsu training with Auntie Kanari. I don't know, but I have been taking my mind off things by physical exertion, trying to grasp everything that happened for the past few weeks. I was mostly angry and that didn't really goad stars with my progress. It wasn't something to blame on me, considering what I've been through. I still had to grasp people's existence and not regarding them as fake slashes of the future or not viewing them dead when it hasn't even happened yet. I know I wasn't supposed to mind those types of persons, but  _someone_ is too persistent that I had to get used to their annoying presence and their continuous advances of  _friendship_  that I did not want.

" _Sa-Yu-Ri-chan_ ," Shisui whined and I had to refrain myself to not go up there and kick the annoying brat's ass. He's been droning my name, trying to get me to say a word to him, since last week. "You're too mean. It's been a week and you still haven't spoken to me!"

Yes, the great and mighty  _Shisui Uchiha_ has been running around, following me even when I was training just to become  _friends_ with me. I should be honored, really. I mean, think about it. Everyone would squeal and backflip three hundred and sixty times when 'death waters kid' have noticed your presence and decided to make best friends forever with you.

But everyone wasn't  _me._

Sure, that's fine. Nothing would go wrong with a shinobi, especially a strong canon character, by your side. Except when all the drama starts to flood open and he'd  _die,_ then what's left of you? Besides, I don't think this is just an innocent friendship he's offering me. I'm most certain no trained shinobi would just up and pick a random kid to play tag with. Even if Shisui is his usual good-natured soul. Maybe he was curious,  _suspicious_  even, that some civilian kid is out training deep in the forest in some unknown training ground. He did mention, even if I wasn't listening, that he had never seen this part of area before and had only been here during that one particular day, exploring the forest by some offered mission and happened to come across me.

And I pretty much would have considered ignoring him and heeding my advice of pretending he does not exist just by that reason only when I had enough patience to begin with.

The thing is, agonizingly persistent people don't go down without a fight. Especially by the name of  _Shisui_.

So I decided to throw a kunai at him just when he started singing my name over and over again, hoping he'd get scared and run away.

Obviously, that was dumb. Shinobi Shisui got a hold of my weapon before it even went to damage him. He didn't even need to activate his bloodline limit for that weak attack.

"Nice throw, ' _Yuu-chan_!" I narrowed my eyes at him, noticing the nickname he just called me and the obvious hint of sarcasm in that statement.

Hell, I don't even know how he got my name. And he even had the nerve to be on first name basis, or  _nickname!_

"Uchiha-san, I suggest you don't irritate me further, I may do worst things from here on if you don't stop." I barked solemnly, but I am pretty sure there was no bite. I couldn't knock him out cold even if I wanted to.

"Ah, she speaks." He smiled really wide, feeling accomplished. "Took you long enough, Sayuri-chan. Seems like the power of friendship worked!"

"I'm serious, Uchiha-san," Atleast I was trying to be.

"Eh? What can a little girl like you do?" He teased.

"Stick a shuriken down your throat." And I really did attempt to sound menacing and psychopathic, but I wasn't best actress of the century and Shisui would be dumb to let a civilian girl do that easily.

"I'm so scared, 'Yuu-chan. I think I have goosebumps." He did a once over at his arms and legs, trying to sound convincing. He began to approach me and I had to back away to maintain good distance from him. But he only found it amusing and took a step more which was quite frustrating. I hate kids when they play games. Times like these made me wish he had the same personality as all the stuck-up Uchihas.

Don't get me wrong. I don't  _hate_ the Uchiha, okay. I don't hate Shisui, Itachi, Sasuke, or Izumi. I just don't want to get involved with a lot of them, especially the important ones. To be fairly honest they even had the right to start a coup d'état. The people in the village are such discriminating  _assholes_ , they'd point the blood to people they judged a book by the cover, or people they don't like just because of their superficial qualities or even the fact that they intimidate them. Who cares if they saved their sorry asses? And don't even get me started with the Hokage and Danzo Shimura's  _bond._ More like  _puppet_  and  _puppeteer_.

What really gets my insides on a rage thinking about it is the fact that Sarutobi Hiruzen pardons his best friend- _not-_ -friend forever. Like  _all the damn time_ that he makes serious mistakes. I mean, I get that he had that friendship thing going on, but he shouldn't forget that he sat on that seat where he has to place the village's best interests instead of his own.  _You took that crown now take good fucking responsibility, old man._  He doesn't need to feel so controlled by stupid Council Elders. He's  _Pia_  freakin'  _Wurtzbach_  and they're just Miss Konoha.  _Duh._

And, sure, maybe I don't understand because I'm still a kid and I didn't go into the deep with all that political shit,  _but I know Tsunade._ And, no, she didn't lead that way. I'm pretty sure Hiruzen knows that too considering she's her student.

"I'm leaving." I kept a passive face as I finally had enough, picking up the weapons hurriedly from the target board and the ones scattered over the green grass. I was about to walk away when an arm dropped around my shoulder, almost making me stumble.

"Where are you going, 'Yuu-chan?" He gave yet another irritating smile and I had to surpress the urge to  _try_ and kick his throat or something, whether to practice my flexibility or getting killed by a nine year old.

"Somewhere you don't exist." I spat as I removed his arm that was heavily resting on me. Quite rude of me to treat him that way, but I am not in the mood to deal with fire breathing bullshits. Even if that bullshit is no other than sweet and kind Shisui, a boy who always has a keen eye for people he wants to annoy to their graves.

He put his hand to his heart, pretending to be offended, seemingly unaffected with my words. "You're too mean, 'Yuu-chan."

"I get that a lot."

He only pouted and followed me as I made my way from tree to tree, following the trail that will lead me outside of this damn training ground, hopefully getting home fast. Meanwhile, I was taking deep breaths trying to think about rainbows and butterflies and white, fluffy kittens so I wouldn't get stressed out and thinking about possible ways to lose a shinobi. Sadly, there was  _none_.

"But you know, 'Yuu-chan, I'm really glad that you talked to me. I'm so happy you finally gave in to this blooming friendship!" He laughed, exuberantly, and I tried not to flinch with the energy I can practically feel radiating off of him, weirdly sounding like Gai or Rock Lee.

"It's Sayuri and I didn't give in to anything." I said in a clipped tone, aware of the fact that he was only pursuing this thing called  _friendship_  because he wants to know more about me, possibly for security reasons.

Who knows what goes on in shinobi brain. In fact, there's a big possibility he's up and about because of some protocols being followed from the Hokage who probably found out about my training.

"Hey, are you going to be a ninja?" He inquired, genuinely curious, and also ignoring what I just said. "Are you even in the academy?"

Ah. So he doesn't know a lot about me yet. I thought my family talked about me, perhaps not. Given that Gramps probably is one of the people that hates them but with different reasons. I think he only despises them because of the fact that they're descendants of Madara Uchiha, who, as a matter of fact, is an evil person and all and not just because they have red creepy eyes. I could safely say that Mom, Dad, and Auntie doesn't give two shits about them, avoiding gossips around the village. I didn't see them flinch every time an Uchiha comes into view like all the others.

I didn't answer him. It wasn't information to hide, but it's definitely not information that I'd be the one to open up to him. Auntie Kanari should be the one to talk him down for me. A shinobi to shinobi conversation where I am most definitely not involved.

We were outside of the forest now and I casually blended in with the crowd of civilians in a nearby fruit stand. Shisui also followed.

I confronted him then, now looking into his charcoal eyes that still give me the lifeless memories of his future.  _Funny how that sounded_. "Seriously, Uchiha-san? Are you going to follow me to my home?"

"Not if you answer my question." He smiled cheekily.

I shook my head. "Go home, Uchiha-san. You're drunk."

"Hey, I don't drink!" He protested, quite baffled. "How do you even know what  _drunk_  means?!"

"If I hold a weapon to kill someone then I'm not that innocent anymore. Now leave me alone."

He cleared his throat instead of scurrying away. "I'm afraid I can't do that 'Yuu-chan. We have an unbreakable bond."

"For the  _last time_ , it's  _Sayuri_  and no, we  _don't_." I almost threw my hands in the air. I should have never opened my mouth to speak to him. Too late now. "Please leave, I don't want to talk to you."

And just my luck, when brown hair clouded my vision so fast, and I am face to face with another Uchiha I wanted to avoid.

"Ketsueki-san!" Izumi beamed at me in greeting, still full of that friendly energy that matches Shisui's equally terrifying excitement. "And Shisui-kun, too. I didn't think you'd be friends."

"Ah, Izumi," he gave her a wave. "You met my new friend, 'Yuu-chan?"

" _Yuu_..." she trailed, lost. "... _chan?"_ She cleared her throat then. "Yes, I met her a year ago, actually. She tried to save me during the Kyuubi Attack."

 _"_ It's Sayuri." I corrected. "And we are  _not_ friends."

But I remained ignored. Shisui instead whistled lowly while conversing with the newcomer. He changed the topic away from what may produce sad thoughts. "So, Izumi, what brings you to this part of the village?"

"I was supposed to buy some fruits for Okaa-san. She said she was going to make something delicious." She smiled up at him and I saw her glance my way. I didn't look at her.

Great. I'm stuck between Uchihas. What did I do to deserve this miserable fate?

"Really?!" Shisui's eyes sparkled shamelessly and I know exactly where he's headed to next. "Can I come eat your Okaa-san's food?!"

She nodded, equally excited. "Sure, Shisui-san! She'd be happy to have you."

That's when I started to slowly sneak out, lowering my head, crouching just so no one would notice I'd ran away from reuniting friends. Huh, who knew both of them knew each other. Didn't matter. I didn't want this to go any further.

Miserably, Shisui is a shinobi so he caught my arm swiftly. Even Izumi noticed with her not even fully ninja yet and still in the academy.

"Not so fast, 'Yuu-chan," He playfully warned and I mentally strangled him then and there. I hate kids.

And that's probably how I spent the rest of the afternoon in the Uchiha base.

_DAMN THEM UCHIHAS._


	13. Two Minesweepers

 

_People like you and me have grown used to dancing along,_

_To the raggedy tune of someone else's song._

_We are able to dance, and smile, and duck, and roll, and weave,_

_While still clinging tightly to the things that we believe._

_\- People Like You and Me, Nigel Finn_

 

* * *

Yeah, so, maybe it was too good to be true.

You know, not getting involved with Shisui and Izumi.

Or not having dinner in Izumi's house because her mom cooked delicious  _Tofu_   _Anmitsu._

I was practically stabbing their toes one by one with Pain's metal tubes in my imagination, also wondering what the hell was I doing, coming along with them and not running away like I planned to in the first place. Oh, right. Stupid  _ninjas_. I doubt Shisui would  _un-_ bother me if I asked him politely. I doubt Izumi would let me off the hook, no matter how nice she is, after blowing her off like I'm some kind of  _Reject_ _Queen._  She's low key persistent apparently, trying to befriend the girl who 'tried to save her' even if I did absolutely no such thing, but call her and got beaten by her future boyfriend. Otherwise, I'd leave her there and go my merry way.

How are they even allowed to have strangers in their compound? So, it wasn't a rule then that you shouldn't just invite people into your home?

"Ah, so 'Yuu-chan here is our little savior, eh?" Shisui cooed teasingly, sounding like he's talking to a baby. "Too bad my favorite cousin stole your shine." And I really wanted to hit his eyes then and there. Maybe it would make his life easier and it could save him the torture that Danzo, an old dickhead stuck in horseshit, isn't the guy that ruined his eyesight.

"It's  _Sayuri._ " I gritted my teeth, feeling annoyed. "And I didn't save anyone nor do I care if your  _stupid cousin_  stole my  _shine_."

"Don't call Itachi-kun stupid!" Izumi suddenly exclaimed, but I wasn't surprised that she defended him. Shisui and I looked at her knowingly as she slowly started to go red.

Well, of course. You don't just diss the clan heir when his admirers are around. That'd be bad blood. Unless your nice and forgiving little Izumi, there would always be hell to pay. If you diss the clan heir's little brother, you'd get your ass handed to his  _Tsukuyomi._ But that little brother holds no relevance to the bitter days until seven years prior. When that happens, I'd be at home baking cookies and drinking chocolate milk with my family, uncaring of it all because I'm that insensitive little shit who believes they'd get reincarnated, but in another world, like me.

"Izumi-chan, you're really smitten with my cousin, aren't you?" Shisui winks at me then, after snickering at Izumi's embarrassment. "I bet if you met him, 'Yuu-chan, then you'd be crushing on him too!"

"I'd probably faint again." And it was true.

"Because of too much butterflies in your stomach?" He gave me a smirk. "I just knew something was up when you fainted in front of me the first time I talked to you."

"No, it's because, like when we first met, I'd rather die than see his disgusting face."

It wasn't something I meant because we all know Itachi is anything but disgusting. He's smart, talented, a prodigy, the perfect ninja that could have existed  _for me_ if I agreed with that sacrificial attitude of his. I just said that so they'd shut up.

And Shisui actually looked offended, the girl beside him gasping. Serves him right for annoying me and making me think extra with the topic about Itachi on the line. I had to worry about not crossing his path, even just for today. If they're dragging me to their clan compound then there's a great possibility that I'd meet the little pacifying serial killer. I hope not. I mean, come on, give me a break. Three Uchihas for the day would be absolute torture. I'd rather have Hidan for tea party.

"My cousin's anything but disgusting!" He exclaimed, putting a hand over his heart. "In fact, he's prettier than you! Right, Izumi-chan?"

Izumi looked down and turned pink again, not really looking sure, also eyeing me if ever I would take offense. "Yeah, I think so, Shisui-san."

And I've never been more insulted in my life. Me? Prettier than that emotionless saga kid? Nu-uh. No way, bro. If they saw my Dad they'd be off their butts, naked, serving his Brad Pitt beauty. Okay, no, maybe I'd let my vanity go for now and give the kid some credit. Uchihas, blessed with their clan genes, are factually eye candies of the village. Funny how the prettiest ones are always the kind of people who gets bullied. But I always did wonder where their fangirls went that should have been defending them.

"Whatever," I waved them off with my hand, signalling that I am closing my case. They didn't bother to continue and made conversation instead about a place that sells ramen. Huh, Teuchi and Ayame are so popular around the village. Not only do they make the best ramen, but they also were the people not nonsensical enough to think a kid, years younger than them, would just pop out nine tails and turn orange, demolishing a whole village and eating their souls. Also about Ayame, I think she's really pretty too even if I haven't met her yet.

_I mean, Shisui **can't**  stop talking about her._

"You must really like Ayame-san then, Shisui-san." Izumi smiled, not really thinking about what she said.

Shisui gave out a strangled noise before managing a straight face, possibly to not figure him out. "I..  _don't_."

I rolled my eyes, "She means as a friend, Uchiha-san."

And he stopped, face falling, not meeting our eyes. Now he's the one with the color in his face. "Oh-well, yeah. I mean- I do." I almost cackled, seeing him get flustered over a little crush on Teuchi's daughter is worth all the trouble he's been causing me. Izumi covered her small giggles, which is a complete fail since Shisui turned a darker shade of red.

The first thing I noticed when we finally arrived in the Uchiha  _kingdom_ was their chakra signatures. A lot of them had theirs fluctuated in curiosity, suspicion, disbelief, and also bewilderment. It mostly came from the people staring at us, at  _me_ mostly, with their faces either in deadpan mode or their eyebrows put together like they have some sort of  _unibrow_. A bunch started whispers as soon as I took another step inside and there was no doubt that news about the civilian girl entering clan base is faster than the speed of light. It wasn't their fault they treat me like from another planet, probably no one pays them enough visit, not like someone would up and dare walk into their territory, brave, without getting dragged inside like me.

 _I blame Shisui_.

The only ones friendly enough to greet us, without looking at us strangely, were the two old people, not the Clan Elders for goodness' sake, in the  _Senbei Shop_  nearby, gracing us with smiles.

"Good afternoon, Teyaki Ojii-san! Uruchi Obaa-san!" Shisui greeted them brightly.

"Ah, Shisui, how have you been? It's been a while." Uruchi, the old woman greeted back.

"It really has been a while." Shisui heaved out a sigh, realization dawning on his face. "It's been good, Uruchi Obaa-san! Shinobi and defending the village is still my purpose after all. Honestly, after all my work, I miss your food."

Teyaki chose that dazzling conversation to go up to me and Izumi's face and examine me, jokingly so. Probably just to strike a nerve. I didn't flinch though. His voice was smooth for an old man when he spoke. "Izumi-chan, who is your friend here? She's definitely not Uchiha."

I snorted, "Well, thanks for that observation, old man."

Seriously, where was my politeness? Oh, yeah. It did not get reborn with me.

"And impolite!" He clapped his hands playfully, not minding a little girl talk shit on him. He probably thinks I'm just another brat on the road, no pressure. "Well, that isn't new."

"Ketsueki-san!" Izumi chastised softly, feeling embarrassed.

"What may be your name?" He crossed his arms as he waited for my answer. "Are you a shinobi too?"

"No." I crossed my arms too. "And it's  _Sayuri_ , thought you should think best to remember that."

"Well,  _Sayuri-chan_." The emphasis on the name was thick which made me slightly uncomfortable that I had to stand straighter than normal. "Since you're no ninja, the first thing I would advise is that you shouldn't really give out your name freely like that to strangers."

I huffed, "I don't care."

Well, he did have a point, but I think it's okay to hand out my name to him. He doesn't look deadly. He looks awfully trustworthy, to be honest. I'm not that much of an idiot, okay.

"You are brave, child." He nodded. "If it would spare your life first."

And 'spare your life' would be the lightest way to say 'not get killed' since there is no way that he's going to talk to a little kid about death bluntly, especially non-shinobi.

I grimaced, "It would, one day."

Yes,  _it would._

After awhile, we said our goodbyes to them, well, Izumi and Shisui did it mostly since I wasn't that close to the both of them to be happily waving about and all. But Teyaki did ruffle my hair a lot before leaving and Uruchi smiled at me.

"That was Teyaki Ojii-san and Uruchi Obaa-san!" Shisui exclaimed happily as he walked beside me. "They're really good people."

"I'm well informed, Uchiha-san." I blew out the strands that was misplaced infront of my face, exhausted. I just want to go home and be over and done with this stuff. "Perhaps you should be the one learning to never disclose names to other people, you know."

"You know, one day you're going to call me  _Shisui_  and drop the honorifics." He breathed out, completely ignoring my last statement. Huh, looks like he noticed that.

"And you're going to call my name too," Izumi added cheerfully. "Someday."

"I highly doubt that."

We soon stopped at a nicely decorated house, what with all different kinds of flowers seen by the fences and the front yard, it looks like Izumi's mom is a hardworking gardener. The house though, looks like one of those architectures built by samurais called the  _Shoin-zukuri_. It was how it was presented. Well, most of the homes of shinobi do look like samurai homes. Not surprised. If Izumi's Dad died during the Kyuubi Attack, prior to what she said when we met, I wonder if Izumi's mother is shinobi.

"I really miss your Okaa-san's cooking, Izumi-chan." Shisui dragged his feet to the front door, once again, without any shyness, slides open the door in a rush, removing his shinobi sandals and running through to possibly the kitchen. I only facepalmed as he left both Izumi and I alone.

I removed my own footwear too as Izumi directed and we both went inside calmly, unlike some rowdy rugrat. I reminded myself again why I wasn't running away or in my case,  _couldn't_. Again,  _damn ninjas._ The only way to get them out of my hair is to eat here and go home. That's it.

"Tadaima." She greeted and her mother softly replied with 'Okaeri'. I only bowed my head in greeting, rushed, eager to get out of here and fast.

"Moeru-sama, have you met 'Yuu-chan?" Shisui grinned excitedly. "She's our new friend."

"Oh?" The mother, Moeru, I presume, glanced at my form freely with a smile also plastered on her face. "I believe I haven't yet. So, you must be 'Yuu-chan?"

"Actually, it's  _Sayuri_ , Uchiha-sama." I corrected, feeling polite all of a sudden. I don't know how I felt that way, but it had something to do with her aura and the classical ambiance of their place. It's startlingly comfortable but with a hint of respect. I don't even know what is happening. It's not bad, just a major professional atmosphere I can feel from where I am standing. This Moeru woman is totally emitting it like a pro. Hell, I didn't know Izumi's mom is so cool that I can tell that she is just by the way she's prettily smiling at me like she's some kind of next generation Anne Hathaway, standing there like she's modelling, what, with her shoulders back and her leaning in as she's holding that plate, tilting her head to greet my eyes. Damn Uchiha genes. Even my dad couldn't compare.

Oh, she's just like any other gorgeous Uchiha female but with more  _class_ , probably. Then again, I still haven't met Mikoto.

Moeru has that same charcoal eyes that penetrate your soul and her hair is wavy, reaching her mid-back as she kept her hair like something colored with dark chocolate. Her height is supermodel, like all women in her clan and that body is die for. She doesn't even look like a mother. She could pass up as an eighteen-year old older sister of Izumi. She was another eye candy and so is her daughter when she grows up.

_THOSE DAMN UCHIHA GENES._

Who told them to be pretty little bastards?! Even Shisui, I can't believe I'm saying this, is an eye-catcher. That doesn't mean I am a pedophile, okay. I'm just complimenting their stupid DNA.

I was probably staring so much when Izumi pulled some strands of my hair while Shisui is practically smirking in the corner. His dog-smile looked more brighter when I let out a loud yelp, causing everyone, except the bastard Shisui, to jump and almost, most probably, activate their Sharingan and genjutsu me to death. I glared at the girl responsible. She only smiled apologetically. I rolled my eyes in retort, there was nothing I could do.

"Well, how about you sit down and we'd get to know each other, Sayuri-chan," she motioned a seat beside Shisui and I had to resist the urge to scramble far away from him and find Kibo, talk to him about stupid people. He's the only one I could trust to hear my opinions about those kinds of persons.

I complied anyway, I did not want a taste of this Moeru woman's skills, if she even has one.

The rest of the afternoon was spent with me doing absolutely nothing except holding small talks and eating. I was also avoiding Shisui and his annoying skills to keep a person's head from cooling and Izumi's unstoppable babbles regarding  _Itachi-kun_ this and  _Itachi-kun_ that, shutting off quickly their constant questions especially when Shisui got to the question I never wanted him to ask because I was sworn to secrecy, my pride wouldn't let me break a promise, but was to be expected anyway. I didn't really care if it spread, that was Auntie's problem. My only case to handle is to never let the  _training truth_  be spoken right out of _my_  mouth. If Shisui saw, tried to make friends with me because he got suspicious and soon finding out about it through continuous sight-seeing, spreading it to the Hokage and whatnot, then that's not on me anymore.

"So what were you doing training all those stuff? You said you did not want to be a shinobi, right?" He looked me straight in the eyes as I tried to force myself to look back at him too, brushing away the wariness that emerged from my insides. Who knows, he'd probably use his  _Mangekyo_ to  _see the truth_  and all that shitty details about "You can't lie to a Sharingan." He wouldn't even bother if Moeru or Izumi is here.

Ah, then. There goes the truth. He  _is_ suspicious about me if he thought about asking that while having that look in his stupid eyes.

What's his problem anyway? Did he really think a puny kid like me would have the possibility to take a whole village down just because I am a civilian and I shouldn't be training all that ninja stuff that he thinks would one day I'd be able to excel that, surpassing everyone stronger than me? Come on, I've been practicing for months and he's seen me throw a kunai at him and he easily deflected it like mosquito out to bite him. Besides, I have no plans to become something my Gramps would hate next.

"None of your business," I said curtly.

"Come on, 'Yuu-chan, aren't we friends?"

"No, absolutely not." I munched a spoonful of those fruits.

"But I would find out soon." Determination in his eyes burned as he told me.

Huh, good luck with that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I did consider making her act like her physical age before I thought about the whole story and how Sayuri and the rest of the characters would play out, but then, eh, I eliminated the idea. Because if you put together acting like a kid and having an old soul, honestly speaking, it wouldn't really play out well and I don't think she could actually cope with that setup for years, successfully not gaining suspicions. Not like anyone's interested in her. It also wouldn't match up with her personality, the kind of character I built her to be. I also think the expectations to become a ninja isn't all about speech. It's not that extraordinary. It hardly matters when they speak above their age when faced with war. Even Kanari knows that. But in a matter of desperation, pushes the idea that it could be possible and the Hokage reminded her otherwise. LOL.


	14. To Fail is to Persevere

_But whether we like it or not,_

_We'll always be around people._

_Is it better to know a few people a lot_

_Or a lot of people a little?_

_\- Perceptions, Abimbola Alabi_

 

* * *

Kanari sat inaudibly on the floor across a disapproving Shima, a furious Akira, and the Asuno that is presently crossing his arms.

It was a quiet evening and their daughter is still not home but that is not what's got them vexed in this intense moment.

"Nee-chan," Kanari cleared her throat uncomfortably, trying to look straight into her older sister's raging eyes filled with antagonism. "I know you think this isn't good, but this is progress. Surely, nothing could ever go wrong with that small trifle, it's just that—"

"Nothing could go wrong?!" Akira almost shot up from her seat that Asuno had to hold her hand if she ever lashed out at her sister. "She has, what, Kanari?! The doctor said six years ago that she has approximately eight to ten years! She has five months left for training and if that situation continues, what is left of her, then?!"

Kanari glared, feeling offended herself. "Don't you think I know that?!"

"Obviously you haven't thought about it that much if you haven't considered what is left of her."

"Nee-chan, this isn't about me! I know what I am doing, okay?! Seemingly, I am her teacher so I have now figured this out. She is my niece, for god's sake. I wouldn't let it get to that state of affairs. And you know something? This would have been easier if you weren't so  _selfish_  before."

Akira was taken aback. It wasn't the first time she heard of this from her. She reminds her every time about this and each time, she just can't accept it. It was not a fair argument. Because how could she? She deserves a life. It's not like they're any different too.

Her face shifted to a blank expression then contorted back into ire. "Oh, you can't talk about sacrifice here, Kanari, don't you dare. You know what you did to Tou-san before. It's because of you he died. You think I for—"

Now, Kanari was  _fuming_ inwardly. She better watch her words _._  "You wouldn't go there if I were you."

Because how dare she bring up the past about their father? It wasn't even her fault that the tragedy happened. But she blames herself each time and she can never move on from the guilt. There was nothing to be remorseful of. She just couldn't save their Tou-san. And it wasn't even time to dwell on what haven't been avoided. What's more important is the situation of a living, breathing child in their hands that should have been able to be given a chance at life, but fate decided to take it away earlier. Fate decided to give her a chance then, but her older sister didn't grab it.  _It's her fault_ , she thought.

"Why?" Akira challenged. "Is it because you're still guilty about it? That's fine, then.  _You have every right to be_."

"Enough!" Shima's deep, rough voice boomed between their conversations that made them stop their banter. He has no tolerance for these type of squabbles and certainly has no time for any of their accusations at each other. Nothing can be cleared with this continuous charade.

"This is not the time to blame each other." Asuno reasoned softly as they tried to calm their own heads. "You're siblings, okay? And we're all adults here so you both are supposed to be in this together."

They equally apologized though still having thoughts of their own about the other and of their differing opinions about the circumstances at hand.

"Kanari, you should have watched carefully and deduced what could have been so as not to worsen your niece's state. Since you are her teacher, you should have taken care of her stability over the training." Shima then turned his piercing look to Akira, leaving no room for debate. "Akira, you should have trusted your younger sister more. I am disappointed in you."

"The thing is, this is not about what happened in the past or what might have been. It does not matter anymore, the time has already passed. There is no room for change. The problem now is the present so don't bring matters of history at the table when you can never go back there any longer."

They all but nodded. He was right. There really was no point in rewinding the clock. It is not possible.

Suddenly, the door burst open. They had to keep themselves from screaming out of surprise. Even Kanari. She couldn't feel her at all. She  _never_ felt her ever since she was a child. It was a normal thing now.  _But it was also dangerous._

"What's for dinner?!" Sayuri, their little smart brat, ran wildly from the door to the dining table to inquire about such the first thing she gets home.

 _She was always hungry_ , Akira thought, already forgetting their recent argument just by seeing her daughter look so  _alive_. Kanari only smiled fondly as Asuno sighed, relieved to see his  _musume_ home.

But Shima grumbled in his usual cranky voice. "What an impolite brat. Children ought to know manners and greet their elders properly and not ask for what's served on the table first."

"Why are you so late, Sayuri? We were worried." Asuno frowned, now realizing.

"Don't be so  _old_ , Gramps." Sayuri rolled her eyes as she sat down across him. "And Dad I was out training to hit the X-mark, I can do it now, mind you. I might be able to beat my neighbor's record now. Also a hell lot of taijutsu moves to practice there."

"Well, you left us all famished, you delinquent." Shima grouchily stated.

"I'm hungry too!" She waved both her arms in the air, exasperated. "Auntie Kanari apparently gave me  _hell_  a while ago that I starved. Do you really want to see your granddaughter dead?"

Realizing what she said, she laughed heartily then, thinking death was a joke, not really seeing their expressions.  _If **they**  only _ _knew_ , she thought.

They all looked at her then.

 _If **she**_ _only knew._

* * *

"I've heard you practiced hard the whole week." Auntie Kanari had that mocking tone in her voice again. "Even perfecting a punch, hitting a couple of X-marks, and successfully breaking wood with just those normal kicks."

"Yep." I replied, popping my 'p'.

It wasn't just a week. It was a long two months and two weeks of struggling to practice, what with Shisui constantly coming over to bother me a lot. Apparently, only he knows about my after school training hours and it's a surprise how he hasn't spread that to the whole village yet, Hokage and all, and no one's come and arrest me or my aunt for forbidden affairs, put me into the T and I for interrogation, their probably going to ask if I was going to take over the world, gosh, if that ever happened. I have my aunt back me up for that since this wasn't my rendezvous to begin with, I have no fault in this. Izumi also had to appear after practices to gain my friendship and all that. I have never agreed to go back to the compound, by the way. The fear of meeting the clan heir is still up my NO list. Kibo and I got closer as Shinrin and I  _would never ever click_. Shinko, haven't seen much of her since she's too busy, but we had a chance to eat dango twice.

So, yes, it was a long two months and two weeks and now we were  _finally_ having a one-on-one battle. Since I have no chakra, she was only going to use taijutsu, non-chakra powered, and weapons for defense. But she couldn't mess with me today. I worked my ass off for this moment, the day I would send her whooping butt to the moon of shame, a little girl defeating her in the process. Yes, that would take a big toll on her dignity, just she wait.

"Well, then." She readied her stance and I copied her then. "How about you show off those moves."

"Oh, you better look after yourself." I smirked. I'm totally feeling extra confident today.

Then she was it.

_KLINK!_

I startled, not realizing instantly what just occurred. Her first attack was a shuriken spinning dangerously towards the direction of my forehead, possibly to damage that part severely if I hadn't ducked that one instantly.

 _Fuck_.

I didn't know she was going to attack first. I expected the same moves from practice. She usually wouldn't do that at all. Guess not. Perhaps she aimed to surprise me.

I looked at her and she wasn't my aunt anymore as she looked at me without seeing her niece. It was always like this during training. We put the thought that we weren't of any relation to each other to avoid emotional barriers when fighting. It was good practice, actually. It helps with mental dilemmas that I am probably going to kill my own kin.

I inhaled sharply as another shuriken went to my direction and I hopped back just in time to avoid it, scurrying forward, upping my speed, with a kunai in hand, aiming to slash her shoulder so it would immobilize her temporarily. I swung it, but her other hand made its way to my wrist, colliding her own weapon with mine to block the attack.

"Wow, you fight like a little girl." She teased and I scowled, losing my confidence now.

"Shut up. I am a little girl for the nth time." I kicked her right foot that was supporting most of her body with much strength, enough to topple someone much, much older than me.

_WHOOSH!_

She lost her balance, and while she was struggling so, I aimed the kunai to slash what could have been. It wasn't enough though. She took a hold of my wrist and I came down with her to the ground, thrashing as she took a hold of me from under. I managed to extend my foot and kick her shin, she avoided it, but it was enough to distract her and I managed to get free, standing up.

 _SWISH_ _!_

She stood up too, blocking the fist about to come at her face with her open palm and she managed to kick my stomach, sending me back to the ground. I had to hold the part she hit as I immediately set myself on my own two feet again, slouching to keep the pain subsided. She didn't kick that hard to bruise me, but she put enough pain and force to keep me from coming at her.

"Enough games, Sayuri-chan." She playfully chastised. "Seems like you haven't practiced at all."

"That was hardly fair, you know." I sneered. "I was too short and you were so tall. Of course you have the advantage."

"And that argument is unreasonable. Height does not matter. Only skill. Come on, I thought you were going to show me those  _moves_ of yours. There's no room for complaining now."

I charged at her, fist ready to connect her stomach, but she grabbed my hair to stop me that I yelped in pain. "What'd I tell you about focus, Sayuri-chan?"

I swung a leg at her abdomen, making her avoid the contact and drop her hold of me. I proximately jumped back and threw a shuriken at her to give me enough time to cope with my breathing and aching body.

"Good, you actually remembered." She chuckled as she avoided the weapon.

"Yes, because how could I forget that I'm fighting for my life here?" I glared. "And you say it every practice!"

She dashed forward for a side kick and I only had a second to avoid it. Shit, even without chakra she's super fast.

She did it again. I wanted to lock her leg in place with my own foot, but I was so little to do so, that's why I fisted and put all of it when punching the ankle of another one of her attempting kicks. Successfully, I managed to do so, making her drop her leg, swinging it back and forth to possibly reduce the pain as she avoided the kunai of mine about to rip her clothes in the chest area. I backed away again as she managed to tear the side of my shirt instead, leaving it open.

"Hey!" I frowned at her. And she had to do that.  _Great._

"I did tell you to wear proper clothing for this, Sayuri-chan. Best to watch your side now." She smirked, almost wanting to laugh that I had to glare at her if she ever would.

I jumped up, and did a three-sixty turn, first swinging a leg at her, she managed to avoid that. Because she put her head back in place, she only had a second to avoid the second attack of that turn which was the kunai coming to behead her if she did not dodge it. She bobbed her head down, cutting a thin end of her hair as she did so. I felt proud.

But she did a sweep anyway as I was sent to the ground yet again. "Quote and quote,  _hair is everythin_ g by Ketsueki Sayuri."

I grimaced as I hopped back to my feet, dragging the kunai against her abdomen but she avoided it by backing away fast, not without throwing a shuriken in my direction again that I had to sidestep.

_That was so cheating._

I sped forward at her again and aimed a kick to wring her neck, but she grabbed ahold of my leg and swung it, throwing me into a pile of gathered leaves under a tree. It was seriously a good thing that she threw me into that pile instead of solid ground. Even though we were fighting as enemies, she didn't forget that I was her student. That was cool. Well, also the fact that my mother would kill her if she brought me home in two pieces.

I rolled out of the leaves and stood up, increasing my pace as I showered a couple of shuriken at her direction with her ducking, dodging, and sidestepping a handful of it, skipping forward as she did so. When it was all over, she raised her kunai over my head and I doubled over with a kick to her knee, making her drop it. I took a hold of the front of her vest and pulled it with a lot of effort to expose her neck to me.

She had no way to dodge this. But I wouldn't actually kill her. I put the kunai against her throat fast so she wouldn't have any time to react and retaliate. I breathed heavily, chest beating fast as my hand shook to get ahold of the weapon properly.

_Game over._

I won this battle.

"Do you… surrender?" I simpered, stared her right in the eye, feeling proud of my accomplishment.

"Wrong person to question that, little girl." She snickered and I furrowed my brows in confusion. She motioned behind me with her eyes.

"What…" I looked behind me and I almost flinched with the kunai's point, her kunai, an inch in front of my one eye that if given forward pressure, would be enough to lose my sight. I trembled from the possibility. I seriously did not want to go blind.

_FUCK._

"So," Auntie Kanari leaned forward as I turned my head slowly back to her. "Do you surrender?"

I only dropped the weapon, disappointed.

* * *

After minutes had passed since that epic failure of mine, I decided to scream in frustration. Well, Auntie had to cover her ears while jumping back away from me. I can't deny that my voice is louder than most girls. If I were a fangirl, I'd be the most annoying one of the group.

"Don't be so sad you lost, 'Yuri-chan." Auntie Kanari rolled her eyes. "Obviously, I was going to win in any other way since I have more experience being in the shinobi world than you."

"But you matched my pace!" I threw my hands in the air. "You played like me!"

"Yes, I did. But I know more moves than you." She sighed. "Stop whining."

"Well, obviously, I haven't improved!" I frowned.

"You have, okay?!" She yelled now, tiredness coating her voice. "Why don't you acknowledge yourself? You did train a lot and it paid off good. You managed to hit me a lot of times."

"I…did?" I looked at her, disbelieving.

"Your kick improved. You managed to make someone older and more body builder than you to lose their balance. Aside from that, you're faster now and a lot of your punches hurt like a bitch. That was something, by the way. You also managed to cut some chunks of my hair and I give points to your weapon training. You now throw shurikens with more precision and the hits of your kunai, based on the sound it makes every time you swing it, had more force and strength put on it unlike your previous attempts."

"But I failed." I reasoned, although noticing what she had said.

"Pat your head for what you did today. You worked hard and you did your best." She smiled, giving me that proud expression that I felt proud myself. "If you think you still need room for improvement then you should practice more. You're still six, 'Yuri-chan. There is still time."

I considered it, then.

* * *

"Look at the mean girl, looking like rags again." Kibo sucked on his lollipop as he examined me from head to toe, shaking his head in yet again another one of my messy after-looks from training. "So, what's the story you bring to me about your current physical state today, Sayuri."

Did I tell you that he dropped the honorific from my name? Which makes it more annoying because he sounds so bossy and superior now. Oh, well. We did become closer friends ever since that prank I pulled months ago.

I nodded, "I tried to steal bananas from our neighbors' tree but I ended up getting caught so I fell down and ran away, fast, but I somehow stumbled a lot so I earned battle scars in the process. It's amazing how I'm still alive."

"Yes," he snorted, "And you have been amazing since you first sported that look. Oh, how you have been such a warrior after a lot of tragedies that came your way."

I snickered. "So, let's just leave it at that."

"'Yuu-chan!"

I groaned. I know exactly who that is. " _Oh, no_."

"Oh, yes!" An excited girly voice added to the mix of that equally bright tone and I wanted to duck behind Kibo, away from those bothersome angels with invisible horns.

"Kibo, ignore them."

"Who are they?" He looked behind me, furrowing his brows to inspect them. "Oh, is that Izumi-chan? And she's not with Shinrin-chan."

Well, I can clearly deduce that even when my back turned away from them.

An arm now rested on my shoulder as one other smaller arm circled its way to my left side. Shisui towering over me, the brightest smile fixed on his face, but he was looking at Kibo now. "Oh? Who's your friend, 'Yuu-chan?"

"That's Kibo-san," Izumi provided instead as she and Kibo greeted each other with smiles and waves. "It's been a long time."

"Yeah," He sighed. "Seems like Sayuri finally warmed her heart to you. It probably took a lot of effort."

"I did not warm my heart to them, excuse me."

"That's right!" Shisui exclaimed and I had to back away, tearing his arm away from me and shaking off Izumi's own. "It took a lot of time, but 'Yuu-chan here obviously could not resist my charm and Izumi-chan's cuteness. It was only a matter of time that she'll soften."

He got loads of imagination. What a pitiful effect of the Sharingan, the master of genjutsus.

I only scowled. "Uchiha-san, I advise that you don't tell lies to my friend."

But that comment was ignored since now, Kibo and Shisui were full on conversing about life and about themselves as I was left on the sideline with Izumi. Wow, Kibo sure is getting friendly with the Uchiha dude. He's so lucky to not feel that sense of pain and discomfort each time he appears and shows his face. Well, he didn't go through my original life so it wasn't life. But I sure am jealous.

"Do you want to go come with us to grab dango like last time? You can bring Kibo-san with us." Izumi smiled, grabbing a hold of my hand. I had to stop myself from recoiling.

"I didn't come with you willingly last time, you forced me into it." I frowned.

"Well, you did enjoy, right?"

"Yeah?" I said, dumfounded. There was no hope for this girl, seriously. It's like no matter what I say, it wouldn't matter. It is instilled permanently in her brain that we are friends.

"Great!"

Well, it is a long day, honestly. I could use some dango.


	15. Everlasting Painting

 

 

 

 

 

 

_We are the Trees._

_Our dark and leafy glade_

_Bands the bright earth with softer mysteries._

_Beneath us changed and tamed the seasons run:_

_In burning zones, we build against the sun_

_Long centuries of shade._

_\- Mary Colborne-Veel_

* * *

Do you know what we are doing today? What totally fucked up mess I just got into? What stupid plan concocted into the political staff of this village and the normal educational board? Well it went down a little bit with the idea of ' _blending and mending isolated bonds with shinobi and civilians so as not to start another war (like it would be possible for civilians to actually attack and riot), but adults wouldn't give a fuck ton about that shit so why don't we start with the kids'._

Well, nobody really said it that way, but the way I am seeing it now, you'll figure it out like a pro immediately.

We didn't know anything. Iku Sensei went on about a long speech yesterday about a field trip and stuff and the next day, it turns out we were brought in a freaky playhouse, double the size of a classroom that could fit forty students and you can envision how thirty civillian kids and a bunch of arrogant, shinobi ratheads fit the palace. They just transferred a lot of desks too to make it look like a classroom still, but with additional and unwanted classmates.

_Yes._

_Shinobi children._

_**FUCK**._

We got mingled in into the kid galore, mixed races. Good luck with making all of us get along. I just hope no one shows up that can risk my mental stability  _again._ Not that much of an impact, really, but  _Itachi._

Oh, the  _horrors_.

I just hope he graduated already. I can't really tell, what, with this room crowded with children of differing ambitions in life.

Aside from that, everyone's looking at each other with sneers and glares and upturned heads, like they were all armed and ready for some kind of battle of the year. These kids are racists since the very beginning. Like, imagine the shinobi flock  _white_ and us  _black._  Someone should remind them to keep their morals intact. I would, but then I'd be a hypocrite. I hate kids, especially  _shinobi_. They just look at you like you're a liability and they're Superman out to save the world or something. Astonishing,  _really_.

"Settle down, little flowers of Konoha!" A girly voice of a teenager, whom I don't recognize and is probably another Sensei, clapped her hands to get our attention. We all sat down on the floor, desks infront of us.

But, seriously?  _Little flowers of Konoha_?

"Alright, group yourselves into five." Iku Sensei's loud voice echoed across the widest classroom that I've ever seen to fit all of us in that everyone's attention spun to him instantly. "We will be having an activity that will require you to work in a team. You can choose your own comrades.  _Provided the condition that you shall have atleast two persons that you have not made aquaintance with._ "

Wow, he gave big emphasis on that part.

I don't even know what he means by comrades if you talk about our situation right now. Who would _want_  to team up with those delinquents?

"I wonder what we're doing. No, the best question is why are we even doing this?  _With them?_ " Kibo looked at me, pointing at them quite rudely but with no malice, and I gave him a shrug.

Who knows what this group activity is about aside from the obvious  _propaganda_  of multiple powers. And I'm not about to tell him about peace treaties now. I know there's a huge gap between civillian and shinobi ties. That's no secret. Unarmed people don't always understand the things that the  _heroes_  decide and sacrifice and somehow, civillians may feel inferiority and intimidation, even  _fear_ , towards them. A lot are  _jealous_ too.

You'd think we all praise those kinds of heroic souls all the time. Fame is one guarantee you'd get from us normal ones, but as I continue to live in this world, I found out that we are not that into them. That's why Sakumo killed himself. One moment he was the best ninja for our kind of people, the next he's another loser in the battlefield. I could even understand how they, civilians, bully the hell out of that kid,  _Narut_ o. It's pretty understandable, actually. Loss isn't something to be taken lightly and then move on. It's even like a coping mechanism where one has to find someone to blame all of those tears and pain, and they chose the nearest ones that could possibly make it happen: the kid sealed with it- _"rip the child open and we'll see if the monster comes out, then we'd go for the kill"-_ or the dudes who have creepy red eyes- " _there was always a meaning behind the color of they're bloodline limit and how it's always bleached with blood."_

Everyone has a different emblem, a different kind of burn, and a lot of different people to set aflame that it  _hurts_.

 _Nobody's an unlit candle_.

Me and Kibo immediately teamed up and we wasted no time to fill our group up. We just grabbed a reluctant  _Hyūga_  that we managed to spot from his seat just a row below us, sitting down,  _aloof,_ while being fawned over by his fan girls. No time to think about who we're grabbing unless the kid's not dead in the future. So we have a Hyūga _, then. Like Uchiha, Hyūgas_  also have the DNA to max their physical attractiveness. No surprise there, considering Neji did grow up to be a hottie as far as I can remember during the  _Shippuden_  timeline. But let us go and emphasize on the 'aloof now. Well, every Hyūga is indifferent. It's just amazing seeing their general qualities in HD. But aloofness is impossible if you're Hinata. Not that it matters.

"W-What?!" He flinched back from Kibo's grasp, surprised, quite unkind. "H-Hey!"

"Let's be in a group together, Hyūga-san." My friend gave him his brightest grin.

"Loner time's over, Hyūga. Better kick it with us if you don't want to crash into your girlfriends." I pulled him over completely to our side. He doesn't look like any Naruto character, I guess I am safe. I don't have to worry about them pulling me into their problems in the near future because we're friends. I still can live longer.

"My..." He looked lost, suddenly clearing his throat, narrowing his eyes, and looking at me warily that it got me lost too, wondering what's his problem giving me eyes like that. "My apologies, but... how did you know the clan I belong to?"

Oh, for the love of-  _gosh!_ Can these kids ever drop their guard for a second and not think that we're murderers in here? And what the hell is he talking about? Of course we know him! His eyes are all we need to identify shit. I know Kibo knows this stuff because we were taught in school about these types of shit we don't care about, like their  _eyes_.

"I'm psychic." I deadpanned.

"That's not true."

"Well, then figure it out,  _stupid."_

Kibo whacked my head. I let out a loud yelp that it probably caused a commotion in the room as the  _whacker_ smiled at our new companion for the day.

"It's Kibo." The mighty culprit smiled sheepishly at the boy as said boy glared at me. "And this is Sayuri." He jabbed his thumb at my direction and I resisted the urge to break it. "I apologize for her rudeness, but you'll get used to it as time goes by."

The Hyūga boy only turned his head away from us, though with a sneer on his face. "I am not to share my name so carelessly to strangers, especially ones that I cannot trust. Regardless, you will only be a liability throughout the activity, seeing as you presumptuous and ignorant people do not know strength."

"Listen here, you  _piece of shi-_ " Kibo covered my mouth immediately, pulling me away from him as I struggled to come at him and strangle the kid alive no matter how mentally older I am than him.

"Hyūga-san, while you are not happy to be part of this group, I'm sure we are the most tolerable crowd around here unless you want to reconsider those girls and those boys who will do anything in their power to drag your face to the dirt." The boy didn't say anything to respond to that, proving that we are right in that area. I was about to add a thought on that too, but I felt a strong grip on my wrist.

"But excuse us for a minute." Kibo gave him a silent apology and before I knew it, we turned away from them, me dragged by a certain ginger-haired kid. He gave me the eye anyway. "What do you think you're doing, Sayuri?"

I crossed my arms defensively. "Trying to show him what  _strength_ really means."

Okay, that Hyūga boy just gets into my nerves. And we just  _met._ I mean, what is he even talking about strength and all? He doesn't even know what we're going to do today that  _may_ or  _may not_ require his majestic ass. Now that I think about it, his words kind of remind me of Shinrin's stares. Speaking of the devil, she's right over there, a seat behind us, mixing with pre-ninja girls.  _Groundbreaking_ , honestly, as if it's not obvious already of which zone she'd flock to.

"Sayuri, we both know you're really mean a lot of times-"

" _Hey!"_

"- but please surpress that attitude so we could get things down and done easy with them. After this  _activity_ we'd go on our merry way then."

I rolled my eyes. "Fine. Whatever."

I soon walked cautiously towards the new boy, staring moodily at the walls and trying to ignore me unsuccessfully so since I pulled on his hand, roughly, to make him face me and look me in the eye. He glared at me. "What do you want?"

"Name, age, and I don't know, favorite color?" I snorted. "Come on, don't be so  _blind._ "

He scowled in reply, stubborn as hell and also realizing the implication of my last words. "I told you I do not hand out my name to such  _strangers_."

In actuality, he was so close to bursting my _patience bubble_ , but wild auburn hair suddenly came into view, disrupting my outburst, one this Hyūga brat should really be thankful for, and the owner of the said hair whipped her head to look me in the eye and I almost did punch her in the face for that kind of surprise turn, thinking she was about to attack me. She stopped my fist mid-air, smirking.

"That was fast, but not fast enough." She dropped my fisted hand then. The girl grinned playfully, skimming me up and down as she noticed the scars on my arms from training, her jet black eyes penetrating my form, intensely drawing observations. The red, triangular marks tattooed on both sides of her cheeks became more prominent on her face the second I focused in on it. Her hair was tied in a loose ponytail, reaching her shoulders. Clan kid, no doubt. Pretty obvious which one.

"Inuzuka-san, it would be of best interest if you do not drift so carelessly in the midst of conversation. You are clearly lacking self-preservation." Pale eyes said, almost disgusted by her actions.

"Huh? Who asked for your opinion, Kō?! I don't take no shit from you, stuck-up Hyūgas. And for the last time, it's Hana. And what the fuck is  _self-preservation, smart ass?_ " Her loud voice echoed across the room, grabbing everyone's attention and earning our table reprimanding stares from Iku Sensei. The one addressed, Kō, as we now know, is  _very_ displeased.

Kō? That name sounds familiar, but didn't ring any bells in my head. He's probably another one of those backstabbing stories Gramps tells me about. Maybe regarding about prodigies in certain clans and how they're slaving the poor babies. I have no idea, he probably doesn't matter in the series that much anyway. But Hana, though. Hana Inuzuka is someone I can remember, but I can see she doesn't have her puppies with her yet. Maybe because she's still so young. Why can't I forget when ten years of my  _past_  life, my cousin babbles about her favorite heroine nonstop. She's not even famous. I know I did not like her because of my cousin's annoying fangirling towards her that it's almost traumatic to hear, and then I see her in personal. She's a force that needs to be out of my bubble.

ASAP.

It's not just about the fact that she's future  ** _Konoha 12's_**  member's elder sister, but also because I can't stand her. I don't care if we just met, instinct tells me she's one girl I would daydream to beat the shit out of once she will get the chance to be in my circle completely. It's the upbeat sense of hyperactivity that I can't take with her. Much like Shisui, but with brashness.

"So, be honored that I am joining this group, blind guy." She finished, panting.

"Excuse me,  _she-wolf_ , but you're not invited," I spat out at her, annoyed. God, do I feel so eager to kick her out of my face. I earned a menacing stare from her.

"You want a go, civilian brat?!" She yelled. "You can't even land a punch on my face and now you're talking shit."

" _Fuck you_ , Inuzuka. I'm not talking shit here because who talks about  _you_  anyway." I scowled at her, tearing myself away from Kibo who was starting to advance his hands, hopefully to hold me down.

Kibo blanched, backing away. "You know, girls shouldn't speak so...  _vulgarly_."

We ignored him anyway. The other kid just ignored the rest of us, sitting down gracefully content with himself.

"Oh no," Hana laughed humorlessly. I wanted to pull her hair and throw her far away from me. "You're just asking for it, aren't you?"

"Asking what?!" I bit back with equal venom. "Asking for you to call your Okaa-san and  _cry_?"

I don't even know why I am participating in such childish whims. This kid is six, for goodness' sake and I am pulling teenage bully in mutual casualties with this girl with the stupid red fangs on her cheeks. I wanted to scratch it out, hoping she'd draw back and leave me alone, cry like the little pipsqueak she is. But I guess she's not that  _six_ anymore since someone obviously taught her how to swear, making her sound like a gangster. And she's  _six_. I only ever learned how to swear when I was fifteen. It was the first time I got depressed. I can't remember how the hell it happened, but it was the feeling of hell raging in your soul.

Her hand zoomed towards me and I would probably get smacked _hard_ if it wasn't for a tall, womanly figure blocking the attack with a tap to the wrist of the attacker. I froze then, she was too fast I did not see her at all when she got here in our circle. It was  _dangerous_. For me, if she ever was an enemy of mine. Hana retracted her arm from her and she was content with giving me dirty looks from behind the woman. She was the same woman that called the lot of us  _little flowers of Konoha_. Ugh. Now that I think about it, she's not so amazing anymore.

" _Hana_." The woman grimaced, gazing at the small girl. "You are not allowed to harm anyone here. I told all of you that as the number one rule before we left."

"But, Miku Sensei, she started it!" Hana pointed her finger at me accusingly. I rolled my eyes. "She was being mean to me and I was only trying to join their group!"

"No, you weren't  _trying to join_ our group, girly. You  _attempted to crash_ here without permission at all." I reasoned, hoping this woman would suggest she finds another group for her.

"Sayuri!" Kibo warned me. "Didn't we decide on  _kindness_ today?"

I did not answer. He was right anyway. Geez, he sounds like Auntie Kanari sometimes but more on acting  _kind_ and all. Well, Kibo's definitely kinder than Auntie. Perhaps, I was getting out of line. Maybe I was too fixated on the past? Hell, if I know. I don't hate her, I just don't like her. She reminds me of everything I hate about my cousin. I mean, she was her _number one heroine_  after all. I only crossed my arms and looked away.

The woman, Miku Sensei as she was called, sighed, looking at us all with condescension. "This field trip was supposed to gain new friends. Never mind your mistakes for now, but you have to gain friendship in this small circle. It is  _precious._ Now where is your fifth member?"

"I am!" A girly voice shouted, raising her hand, smiling sheepishly. "I'm going to join their group."

Oh.  _Izumi._ I did not notice she was here. She's fine, maybe. It means I don't have to deal with other snotty kids. She's tolerable enough since I see her almost every week after training if me and Shisui caught up to her in the market place and we'd go grab dango, me getting  _dragged_ along unwillingly. Izumi walked towards us and soon stood between Kibo and I, Hana and Blindy giving her rude stares. Well, no surprise there, Uchihas were always given that look, especially from rival clans. Stupid, really.

"So, is your  _Itachi-kun_ here?" Kibo teased and I stilled immediately as the question was raised, hoping she'd say  _no._

Izumi sputtered, going red all over as she struggled for her words. "N-No. Why- How-You-I- am not- he's not  _mine._ " She looked away then as I let out a breath of relief. _Good to know._ I am not ready for a heart attack. "Itachi-kun graduated earlier than us. He finished last month."

Huh.  _Too early,_ you mean.

"Now that you're all quite done, we will now move outside." Miku Sensei grinned, her mood shifting to excitement that caused all of us to look at her. I almost backed away.

"Why? What are we doing today, Miku Sensei?" Izumi tilted her head in a questioning glance.

She only smiled sweetly.

"Why, we're going to plant your  _memory tree_."

... _What?_

* * *

"I say we name it..." Four pairs of anticipating eyes stared at me impatiently as I breathed out what was on my mind. "... _Tree."_

 _"_ That is  _stupid_." Hana scowled.

"Completely, irrevocably  _passionless_." Kō grimaced, looking at me in disappointment.

"I agree wholeheartedly," nodded Kibo.

We all looked at Izumi. She looked back, biting her lip in nervousness. "Well, I guess they do have a point, Sayuri-chan."

And that was when I threw my hands in the air in exasperation. "Well, you have any better ideas, you suckers?! For the record, it is not  _stupid_ , it is the most smartest way to name a living thing. And if you want to be  _oh-so-passionate_  about names,  _no-pupils-boy,_  I suggest you marry, have sex, and have freakin'  _babies!"_

"What is sex?", Izumi murmured in the corner. It was best not to answer her.

"How utterly absurd! Enlighten me, why did I ever agree to be associated with this group?" Kō furrowed his brows at me, odddly sounding like Iku Sensei in his Gandalf speech style, sounding extremely flustered although a slight blush rose to his cheeks. I only dismissed him with a wave of my hand and a silent 'whatever'.

"That's the best idea so far that you have in mind for Kō-san, Sayuri." Kibo smirked, patting Kō's shoulder in a provoking manner. He shoved him away with a light push, brushing his shoulders off like it was dirtied in the first place.

We were actually deciding on names. Of what? A  _tree._ Yes, a goddamn tree. Miku Sensei and Iku Sensei called it a  _memory tree._ Although, I doubt it can be filled with memories when it's still a seedling. Also, we don't look like a bunch of kids that are going to smile and prance along the daffodils like unicorns, photographing ourselves in our best moments and talking like we are best friends forever, cross our fucking hearts whatever. We'd rather make a history book concerning  _World War **III.**_

"You're all stupid!" Hana rose from her seat. "Give me that platter and I'll think of a better name!" She snatched the circular platter from Izumi's hands as Izumi tried to get it back, but Hana won't have any of it.

Yes, we were given a platter to write the name of our so called tree and its  _guardians,_ as Miku Sensei told us. Like a birth certificate. It was after we so messily planted the seed for our tree to grow. It seriously took a lot of time to get the seed into the soil because we couldn't get along who would go dig the dirt, for goodness' sake. I took the responsibility anyway, seeing my other companions are have  _soilphobia_. Bunch of looney tunes, really.

Kō glanced at her in disbelief. "You should be aware of your own limits, Inuzuka-san.  _That_ skill is off your boundaries."

Kibo deflated, seeing Hana's seething look, her nostrils flailing in irritation. "I would agree, but then I'd probably die at an early age."

Izumi only backed away, hiding slightly behind Kibo. Hana growled, "You have something to say, Hyūga?! You have a better idea?! Because it looks to me that you're not even thinking of a name!"

Kō only pressed his lips into a thin line, dismissing her. "I will not contribute to such nonsense. That tree holds no importance to me. It is better if we leave it unnamed."

I snorted, "Who's  _passionless_ now." He glowered at me then.

"You're wrong, Hyūga-san. This tree is called a 'memory tree', therefore it will serve as some kind of photo album for us and our friendship today." Izumi smiled, sounding disturbingly fond. What friendship is she talking about?

We all stared at her, dumbfounded. What planet did she go to? Where have she been when we were at each other's throats? I shook my head instead, tired with all this stuff about planting trees and  _friendship_ whatever.

"So..."Kibo turned away, trailing his words. "... any ideas what name it should bear?"

We all gave out a loud exhale, thinking over a name. Suddenly, something struck me, a name at the tip of my tongue and it was the only thing that came out of my mouth after I focused on it.

" _ **Chiyoe**_."

They all looked at me in a questioning glance. Kō though, looked unconvinced. "A name that defines  _everlasting painting_? Why?"

_"There were colors unchanged,_

_It's own meaning remained,_

_Though of different shapes,_

_It is with infinite sense._

_Now, it is tattered and torn,_

_Had been ruined in a storm,_

_And it's colors have changed,_

_It's image held damage,_

**_Still, it's meaning remained."_ **

I did not answer. Instead I grabbed the platter from Hana, ignoring her 'hey' and carving the name to the wood platter from the kunai I borrowed from Izumi. I wrote  _Chiyoe_ in its  _Kana_  form, prior to what I have been taught when I was little. I finally wrote down their own names myself on the bottom. When I was done, I dug the platter to the soil near the seed so that it may stick to the ground, hopefully. Everyone just stared at me.

Kibo breathed, sounding uncomfortable and I don't know why. " _Why?"_

I only smiled subtly. "Okaa-san loved that name."- _Mother, my mother from the past loved that name.-_ "It was supposed to be my name, she said. But she changed it then."-  _Mother thought it was absurd to give me a Japanese name from her favorite novels- "_ Because she didn't quite believe in eternity." -  _She didn't because she knew nothing lasts forever-_ "I didn't too." -  _But it was never the same._

If I was her, I would name myself Chiyoe. I glanced at the platter. "Chiyoe means  _everlasting painting._ I don't believe in eternity. You can't stop time and no one could go on forever. It's impossible to freeze a moment as it is improbable to keep this tree from dying."

"I don't believe in eternity, but Chiyoe means  _everlasting painting_. For anyone or anything who bears that name should not focus on the  _everlasting_ only, but the painting too. We can die, wither, all of that will go down the drain one day, but this  _memory tree_ , our  _painting_ of our oncoming memories and moments would be something that could last forever. It is not the tree that remains, but  _what_  it is. It is not the structure, but the way it's made. It is not our life that stays, but our faith."

_It is not the vessel, but the soul._


	16. Stop, Please

_Forever we remain oblivious to the future,_

_Lost to the past and enduring our torture._

_Forever we take chances to settle our scores,_

_Losing some battles and winning some wars._

_Forever praying out loud hoping someone will hear,_

_Forever crying softly but never shedding a tear._

_Forever exists behind a disguise,_

_But the belief in forever keeps our hearts alive._

_\- Forever, Terri Nicole Tharrington_

* * *

"You win this time, civilian brat, but who cares anyway. Naming trees are for weirdos!" The Inuzuka managed to stick her tongue at me. "Besides, who understands what you just said? People get nosebleeds when hearing that, you know!"

I gave her a dirty look.  _Says the mutt who exclaimed she'd name it herself because she thinks we're **stupid.**_

"Perhaps that's only you, Inuzuka-san." Kō, disagreeing, shook his head. "I assume you pretend to comprehend what the girl has implied, but I rather not blame you. It is not your fault that you have never shown any cerebral progress at all. It is devastating to see, although natural processes are not to be bothered."

"What?" Her face contorted in confusion, not understanding what her schoolmate said to her, then she turned to Kibo. "What did he say to me?"

"He said you're stupid and there's no cure." Kibo answered  _politely_.

"I'm going to kill you!" Hana growled in her little voice. She was about to pounce on Kō, but she saw something from a distance that she retreated her advancing arms instantly, snarling under her breath. "You're so lucky Miku Sensei is watching us, you blind fart, or I would have killed you."

Kō though, only raised his head, arrogance completely coming out from him. "You could never do such thing even if you tried."

"Oh, you just wait when we're out of school, you creepy-eyed girly!"

Gee, I don't even know why my cousin liked her. She always did mention that  _the_ Hana Inuzuka is so  _nice,_ but why am I not seeing it? Though it made more sense. Inuzukas may be fluffy little furballs, but they do  _bite_. She'd probably be more snarkier when she's older and taming three puppies and a little brother that probably would not make a damn difference if he's a dog or not.

"But Sayuri-chan's idea was amazing, Hana-san," Izumi deliberated for me kindly. Though I did not need it. They can name the tree anything they want. I only suggested.

"Yeah, right, it would be cooler to name it  _Hana_  than something you name a pig. The weirdo should be glad her Okaa-san didn't give that name to her." Hana pointed out smugly, grinning from ear to ear, thinking she came up with the greatest conclusion ever.

I only resisted the urge to pull her hair. That's pretty offensive to me because she insulted my mom in a way. I scowled at her instead. "It's not a pig's name! If it was then I would have given the name to you. Also,  _Hana_ sounds like a pig's name too."

She gnarred. "What did you just call me?!"

Izumi and Kibo held her down instead so as to stop her from attacking because I can see I really did aggravate her this time. They made her sit down, both of them trying hard to calm her. What an angry dog indeed. I sat down on the ground too, facing her completely.

"Alright, this friendship has got to get in progress." Kibo sighed, wiping his forehead with the back of his hand. "I say  _Nami Sakiko_  is her name."

"First of all," Hana breathed out angrily as she was held down by Izumi, "What  _friendship?_ Next, what the fuck is that stupid name?"

"Also, why does a tree get a full name?" I raised an eyebrow at him. I also wonder where he got the name from.

"So it is female?" Kō inquired courteously. "I admit it would be better if it was male. The tree would grow to be strong at least."

"Kō-san, are you implying that girls are weak?" Izumi frowned, leaning against the girl she's pinning down, still trying to advance and maybe slaughter me with her fangs.

Kibo only stomped his foot, frustrated. "None of that matters, okay?! While  _Chiyoe_ is indeed a wonderful name, Sayuri, as you have explained, this has nothing to do with thinking about things like  _everlasting_ and  _painting_ or how we would come to end but memories do not. This tree simply represents  _us._ No need to get so complicated."

"Yeah, you tell her!" Hana squeaked, victorious.

"Hana-san, don't be so brash. No offense, but compared to what Sayuri here suggested, you opted for your name instead. That's  _uncool_." And they were arguing again.

Meanwhile, I went silent and thought about what he said. And I concluded that maybe he was right after all. I was only thinking about myself when we were naming  _our_ tree. It didn't have anything to do with my mother when I was still in existence back in my old life or how she loved that name. Funny how  _everlasting painting_ also meant my desperate hopes. I thought that  _my memory_ would last forever. I hoped that I would be clinging at the hearts of those who would miss me back there, when I was not pushed here. I hoped someone  _remembered_ me.

I wanted this tree to be the assurance of that.

I was being selfish. This wasn't even all about me. This wasn't  _mine_ as this wasn't  _my life_.

"But," I tugged at Kibo's shirt, trying to get his attention away from a bickering Hana. He turned to me and I pointed at the wooden platter attached on the soil. "Even then, I already inscribed  _Chiyoe_ there. How will you even erase it?"

"Well, there's a reason  _crossing out_ was invented, weirdo." Hana stated, looking at me as if I was dumb. I only ignored her.

So, Kibo went over to the platter, crouching, as he began to cross out the  _Chiyoe_ engraved on it firmly. It took a while. He slowly wrote something in Hiragana instead of my Kanji and I stretched my neck forward to read what he carved there. He somehow wrote it vertically, by syllables. I did not know Hiragana that much, but the stuck knowledge about it was enough for me to understand it. I did not know he knew  _Hiragana._

**な**

**み**

**さ**

**き**

**こ**

It was  _incredible_ how the strokes were perfect on wood.

" _Nami Sakiko_ ," He smiled, finishing. "Is the combinations of all of our names. It is not a full name, but it will sound like it. That's alright, then. I think this would be a better name to give to the tree, don't you think so too, Sayuri?"

All of us had realization cross our face by what he meant when he said it was the  _combination_  of our names. I nodded in agreement. Now it really was  _our tree_. It's not yet grown, but it will be someday.

**な** **–** _Na_ from Hana

**み**   **–** _Mi_ from Izumi

**さ**   **–** _Sa_ from Sayuri

**き**   **–** _Ki_ from Kibo

**こ**   **–** _Ko_ from Kō

"Wow, you're really cool for a civilian,  _Kibo-sama_!" Hana stared at him with sparkles in her eyes, then looking at me like she was crestfallen that I was even here with him. "You're really unlike someone you came with."

And I blanched, slightly repulsed by her expression. So it's a  _–sama_ now? And just because he managed to puff out perfect Hiragana writing strokes and some words of unity or something. Hana is becoming star-struck with my friend and will possibly develop a childish crush. To think that she was close to biting our heads off a while ago.

"Um, not at all." Kibo turned red, clearing his throat as I snorted in disbelief. "Anyway. Let's welcome Nami Sakiko to our family."

"Hana-san is right!" Izumi exclaimed, fire in her eyes. "The name is amazing!"

"That is quite interesting, Kibo-san." Kō nodded, pleased. I gaped at him. So, he's calling him by name now too? Oh, no, that's just unacceptable. I take full offense. These kids are mean. And I thought I managed to impress the great and mighty Hyūga when I explained what  _Chiyoe_ means. That is just so unfair.

It's so – so –  _Ugh._ You know, what? FINE. It is  _way_  better than what I came up with. I completely surrender.

"Sayuri?" Kibo frowned. "Are you mad?"

I shook my head. "No, I think its name is much more  _beautiful_ now." And I meant it.

Seeing my sincerity, he punched my shoulder quite roughly which earned him a glare from me. "See? You  _could_  be kind too!"

I was about to say something very smart ass when a loud growling sound that seemed like something that came from someone's belly ringed around the opening. We all looked at Izumi then, as she let go of her hold of Hana, clutching her stomach and looking down in embarrassment. No one dared say anything nor did someone move.

But then  _Hyūga_   _Kō_   _laughed._

And to be honest, that was groundbreaking, unprecedented, amazing. Everyone followed through with their own eruptions of laughter that the other kids, Miku Sensei and Iku Sensei too, were giving us weird looks. The situation was confusing, quite childish, but it is phenomenal. We made a  _Hyūga_ laugh and it was because of Izumi's grumbling stomach. It's all the simple things that made little kids like us happy. I realize it was the first time in a while that I allowed myself a real smile.

* * *

"Where are we going? This does not look like the way to the training ground, you know." I glanced at the unfamiliar road we were currently treading. "I swear if you're going to take me somewhere, rip me open and sell my organs, I will kick your ass."

Auntie Kanari only facepalmed. "Who exactly wants organs, most especially  _yours,_ these days? And even if I am going to do that, with you  _kicking my ass_ as a desperate escape plan, you can't honestly beat me. Not in your skill level right now, 'Yuri-chan."

"Are you implying that I am weak?"

"Yes."

I shrank. "But you said I improved!"

"Improved not got stronger to the point that you can kick anyone's ass like the mighty Hokage." she elucidated, pushing me forward so she would be walking behind me. I returned to her side anyway. Can't have her pulling tricks behind my back now. She noticed this.

"Five months, 'Yuri-chan. I already taught you weaponry and taijutsu, picked your muscles and speed up, even your reflexes to dodge objects yet five months of all that and you still don't trust me. It's disconcerting. Like I'm not your aunt at all." She pouted, disappointment crossing her features. "But I guess I can't blame you. It's doubtlessly something I could slightly applaud you for. You kind of had to not trust a lot of people in this world. But isn't it  _unfair_ that you don't trust your parents too?"

I gave her a weird look, quite confused. I'm pretty sure I trusted my parents, right? What gave her the idea that I didn't?

"What? But I do trust them. I said so when I was still finalizing my say on this training and you heard me. I love them so of course I trust them." I insisted, matching her pace as she walked faster to a direction of, I don't know, but we were walking in the direction of an-  _wait_ , is that an  _onsen_? Uh, why are we going to  _that_ place? Are we going to bathe while training?

She let out a tired smile which made me all the more confused. "Love takes you places, that might be true. Trusting people blindly, doing things for them unconditionally are also common factors. Though there are also types of love where it is smart to decide whether you should trust them or not, regardless of what you feel for them. But do you really trust them? Do you really  _love_ them? Or are they just people you feel like clinging on to, concluding it as the feeling of love, because you don't want to be  _alone_?"

" _What?"_

I yelped in shock, quite loudly, because I was so surprised she'd ask questions like  _that._ The things that made me question the relationships I have with people around me is suddenly put on the spot and I did not know how to answer. Is it real? Or is it fake? Is she asking me if I am loving them? Or if I am using them? Why is she even bringing this up? That wasn't even her matter to inquire about. And I was  _six_ , what made her think a little girl like me should be asked those kinds of stuff? It made me speechless. It made me want to answer, but I couldn't. I don't know anymore.

And I was close to hyperventilating.

She stopped, seeing me not walking with her. Then she backed away to my side, putting a hand on my shoulder then, looking worried as she observed that I froze and is continuously opening and closing my mouth like a fish. "Calm down, 'Yuri-chan. It was only a question."

I brushed her hand of aggressively. With firmness, I opened my mouth to answer. "I  _do_ **trust** them. And I do  **love** them. What makes you say I don't?"

She only shrugged. "I watched you grow up, you know. You once had that light in your eyes, that sense of happiness for five years. But then, your Tou-san said that you screamed and they thought you were going insane after you saw  _chakra,_ 'Yuri-chan. Like it was out to get you. You were  _scared._ And that was the last time I saw you with brightness. You  _lost_ your light, then. I don't know why you would react that way and what's even more worrying is that ever since that day, you never let your Tou-san carry you on his back again. You never walked with your Okaa-san behind you anymore when you both are exploring the village."

I looked at her, walking again, but slowly so she can walk with me too, as I thought about it. Suddenly my stomach feels like it's twisting. My palms are even sweaty just hearing this from her. "Why are you telling me this? I'm a kid that's not supposed to be answering such questions. I'm six and is not entitled to hear that  _at all_."

"Because you're smart, 'Yuri-chan." She smiled at me, but not in a way that implies something indifferent. Just a simple stretch of her lips that remind me of someone guiding another person into good light. "Like really,  _really_ smart. You  _understand._ And I wanted to make sure of the bonds you forged with us, with your parents, at least. It could save you and I want to save you."

"Save me from  _what_?"

" _Everything_."

Now, that's even more obscuring. Why would she save me from everything? Why would she want to secure the bonds I have with people? Though I did not get to say any more in the matter because we stopped in front of an  _onsen,_ like,  _seriously_. She murmured something under her breath that made me furrow my brows. She sounded annoyed. I don't even know why. I never know what's going in her mind at all. We walked inside, quite fast, and suddenly I found myself in the hot spring where men are bathing. Excuse me, but clearly Auntie Kanari isn't turning into Jiraiya, but with a literally direct approach, right? And goddamn, it's a really good thing that no one is around, thank the heavens. Otherwise, I'd be blushing like crazy. I am so not ready for that.

"That pervert is at it again," Auntie Kanari grumbled, exhaling loudly while tapping her foot.

That's when I just  _stilled._ Hold it right there, amigo. For goodness' sake, not another character from canon. Just  ** _NO_**.

_Onsen?_

_Us being here?_

**_Pervert_**?

Oh, boy. That can only mean  _one thing_.

I looked up at Auntie Kanari and saw she was staring hardly with fire in her eyes at a tree, no, at the  _topmost_ part of the tree high enough to stretch ten inches above the fence separating opposite genders. I followed the direction of where her eyes are angrily glued on and then I spotted  _him._ Barely noticeable with all the leaves and branches that made his body hidden, but I'm smart enough to figure out that no tree in this world have green leaves that would also have white splattered on it, forming a pattern of a cat with rocky, white skin. So much for a disguise tactic. He couldn't even fool a three-year old with  _that._

_I felt lightheaded again._

I wanted to  _barf_.

**_NONONONONONO._ **

Oh, don't you dare call him down from there no matter how wrong it looks like. Don't you dare, because I swear, I'm going to-

"JIRAIYA-SAMA!"

And that's how the story of my life ended when Auntie Kanari decided to yell out loud, startling the man hiding in a tree and letting him face plant to the ground embarrassingly.

And then I  _barfed._

And then I  _fainted._

AGAIN.

* * *

"You are quite the  _disgusting_  one,  _g_ _aki_."

The first thing that registered my tired eyes on and reached my clogged ears when I woke up from my great collapse was a man with waist-length, white, spiky hair tied in a low ponytail with two shoulder-length bangs framing his face, and then there's that wart on the left side of his nose. He's currently fixing me with those scrutinizing eyes of his while crossing his arms. I struggled to comprehend what he just called me. I really wanted to run away, trust me, I do, but those two words are just so hard to ignore.

_Disgusting_ and  _brat_? Oh, that's hypocritical, you know.

I thought 'gaki' was a nickname for Naruto in the series, but then I found out it's the Japanese term for 'brat'. He probably calls every displeasing child he came across as such. And so, he actually stopped the name-calling when Naruto sharpened his skills, improved, and showed him that no matter what happens you should  _believe it!_ Nonetheless, he was the kid Jiraiya adored most. Not only because he's his godchild, but also because of the fire in him that he has never seen in anyone before. And that's  _precious_. I would be all over the kid too, honestly, but I hate kids so,  _nah_.

I sat up as I wiped my lips with the back of my hand from any excess barf that may be stained around it, facing his form that was sitting down in front of me. Snorting, I crossed my arms too, matching his gaze. "Says the one who peeps on women. Now, where is my aunt? Did she sold me to you?"

"That was not  _peeping,_  gaki!" He stood up dramatically, looking mildly offended. I only rolled my eyes. "You ought to know what  _research_ means, but what do kids like you learn these days? You're still so young to understand!"

"Understand what, exactly?" I inquired with boredom, standing up too to stretch my legs from muscle stress. "That old, smelly men with white hair like you watch porn in live action?"

"You know, I wanted to introduce myself to you in the best way possible, but you're just so  _cheeky_  I forgot what to say." He had a wry face on, giving me a disappointed look, though I was too tired to care. "You're parents should have taught you manners and respect to your superiors before letting you out to see the world."

"Yeah, and your parents should have told you not to be a creep."

Before he could retort, someone burst into the place, running fast to my side and staring Jiraiya down with reprimand. I realized it was Auntie Kanari. And she has water and some dangos with her. It's probably for me because of my fainting session. Is dango a cultural food here? Who knows.

"With all due respect, Jiraiya-sama, I would like my niece to have no part in your research." She said sternly, but managing to be polite. "We only came here for what should be done. Nothing more."

I almost laughed at Jiraiya that wa looking abashed, because he was struggling to take in the implication of her words. Well, it's not everyday a legendary Sannin gets to be mistaken for something far beyond just a pervert. He had to be a  _pedophile_.

"That is offensive, Ketsueki-san. Though I forgive you since you are a beauty and it deserves to be pardoned." He blushed then, checking my aunt out from head to toe in her Jounin clad outfit. Her curves are everywhere with that on. I didn't notice it until now apparently. I barely kept myself from being grossed out with the action the perverted old man made. But maybe that's just how he is.

Nope. Still  _gross._

"I deeply apologize." Auntie Kanari bowed her head in respect. "Though, Jiraiya-sama, I believe we have more important things to attend to."

"See?" I facepalmed. "Totally a creep."

"Huh? What did you say, you rude kid?!"

I wanted to repeat what I said, but a rough push of my head stopped me. The hand attached itself to my nape after, forcing me to bow ninety degrees in front of the perverted white-haired dude. I struggled hard to get it off, but the pressure was too strong to resist. An ordering voice suddenly emerged from the culprit. "Show respect, Sayuri. You are addressing one of the legendary Sannins in this village."

"More like legendary pervert," I mumbled, annoyed.

It's not like I don't know him. I do respect him and his wonderful contributions in life if it does not have anything to do with his  _Icha Icha_ series. When we came to the onsen to meet him, I think he already sensed our approach then. Come on, he wasn't  _Legendary Sannin_ for nothing. This stupidity he's pulling, making him look less harmless is just a facade. It's his own easy tactic. Appear defenseless, they underestimate you, and go for the surprise move they didn't know you had in you to pull off. He's quite a walking lesson for all those who look down on people easily.

"Sayuri," Auntie Kanari warned, pinching my neck lightly but with enough force to make it hurt. Ninja power sucks.

"Fine! Fine! I give!" I put my hands up in defeat, finally giving in. "Oh, mighty Jiraiya-sama, please accept my humble apology. It was wrong of me to speak to a  _respectable_  person in such way."

"Yes! Yes! Now you're learning something, gaki." He laughed, rather amused with my situation. I wanted to give him a piece of my mind, still, but Auntie Kanari won't allow me the chance.

_"Now take off your shirt_."

...  _What?_

Auntie Kanari lifted his hand from my nape, helping me straighten up as my mouth fell open. "Take of your shirt, Sayuri. Jiraiya-sama will be doing some fuinjutsu to help your body. I'm sure you would want that."

I ignored her. I was too dumbfounded to form coherent thoughts that my mind immediately jumped to the memory of how I died. It was a _terrifying_  thing to say to me and I wanted to scream  _badly._ I thought after all these years, I moved on, no longer affected by the trauma of something that scarred me  _so deeply._ It wasn't, no, it  _never_  was easy to forget. My hands trembled, as my body slowly began to convulse. I clenched my fists tightly, beginning to draw blood. Shutting my eyes, I hoped the images of  _that night_ would just go away.

"Eh?" Jiraiya stepped forward and I backed away instantly. He became concerned then. "What's wrong with you, kid?"

I did not answer.

_"Oh, look who's here."_

_"You're not that pretty, but you could pass up as a chic for the night."_

_"Come here, darlin'," He licked his lips. "I'm sure your sad that your friends left you. I could take that pain away."_

_I screamed for help, but **nobody** came. Maybe because it was a tight space? Too closed off for people to hear? IS IT NOT? I tried to make a run for it, but I realized I was surrounded. Isn't that the role of scapegoats?_

_ISITNOTISITNOTISITNOT?_

_" **Take of her shirt first, dude"** The other one came forward. I backed away, but I only bumped into the person next to me, making him lock his arm around my neck, strangling me. "I'm sure some precious gold is hidden underneath. Take a picture. Here." He threw a phone to the guy strangling me. "It's porn of the week."_

_They all laughed. I struggled to breath._

_ANDTHENANDTHENANDTHEN_ —

"SNAP OUT OF IT!" Auntie Kanari placed her hand on my shoulder. I pushed it away aggressively. I did not want anyone touching me there,  _NONONONO_.

"What is wrong with the kid, Ketsueki-san?" Jiraiya came a step closer, but I'm only seeing  _red_ and at that moment I did not care if they looked worried. For a moment it was an  _illusion_ to me.  **Nobody** _cares about me, right_? I mean, I was thrown to the wolves by people in the past so  _easily_. Was I that  _ **worthless**_? So  _ **unimportant**_?

_INSIGNIFICANT ENOUGH TO ABANDON? TO BE TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF? **TO DIE?**_

"Hold her still." I heard Jiraiya ordered, but I wasn't seeing his face. "I don't know what's wrong with her, but she needs to calm down. It's not good for her state."

_"Hold her still, dude." That horrible smirk plastered his face and I wanted to **scratch** it off. I wanted to  **KILL**  them all. But I was  **too WEAK**_.

Auntie Kanari immediately went to my side, locking me down before I could escape. "I'm so sorry, Jiraiya-sama, but I also don't know what's wrong with her. She was just fine awhile ago."

LOCKED DOWN AGAIN. TRAPPED AGAIN. SURROUNDED AGAIN. IS IT GOING TO LAST FOR NINE MONTHS? IS IT GOINGTOGOINGTOGOINGTO—

I tried to scream, but Auntie Kanari clamped my mouth. I struggled to breathe  _again_.

_They clamped my mouth, shutting my screams up ASTHEYASTHEYASTHEY_ —

_"You're too **weak**_ _to fight it, darlin'." He licked his lips again. " **YOU'RE TOO** **WEAK**_. _"_

NO. I REFUSE TO BE LABELED AS SUCH. I—

_I was not **weak**_.


	17. How Do I Trust?

_It may be misery not to sing at all,_

_And to go silent through the brimming day;_

_It may be misery never to be loved,_

_But deeper griefs than these beset the way._

-  _Paul Laurence Dunbar_

* * *

_"Mom, why do people suddenly disappear?" The little girl frowned, looking up at the lovely woman beside her, a bewildered look crossing her face._

_They were sitting on one of the benches by the river, munching on some Pringles they bought from a nearby store. The sun was coming down. It was magnificent, but she was only seeing the woman she addressed as her mother. She wanted an answer to the question. Her classmates in school were fussing over her seatmate. He said his father was **gone**_ **.** _She was unable to comprehend. Why would he be? Is he taken by astronauts? Or touched a magic stone into a different world? She does not know why._

_The woman looked down at her, softness in her eyes. "Whatever do you mean, my little Lori?"_

_"Elijah said his father was gone now. He said he isn't coming back. Where did he go? Is he lost? Why not come back? I wish he would, though. Elijah would be happy again."_

_The woman only smiled knowingly._

_"Perhaps that is for you to discover, my little Lori."_

* * *

I woke up to the sound of a door slamming.

I rubbed my eyes as I rose up from the hospital bed to see who just came in. Yes, I was admitted to the hospital  _again_. It seems that after my little episode, a breakdown because of phrases that made me recall traumatic incidents, I collapsed.  _AGAIN_. And that was twice that day. The doctors said I could not handle the stress again. They could not explain where my stress came from. How could they? They weren't reincarnated.

But that information is false, though. I remember being knocked out through my pressure points. That was one thing that angered me.

I was supposed to be resting only for a day, but I managed to convince them to make me stay an additional day or two. Visitors came yesterday and my mother yelled at Auntie Kanari again. I did not listen to their banter, seeing as it's not my problem. I was supposed to feel bad for her, but it was partly her fault for introducing me to Jiraiya, although it would seem like an unreasonable argument.

Dad only gave me reprimanding glances and advices to take care of my well-being more before going out to sea. Meanwhile, Gramps asked me if I was doing this on purpose to fasten his death or something, but I knew he was worried. I apologized, understanding that he did not like going out of the house due to the heat and the fact that he's too old for walking, his bones might fall apart. I appreciate that he still came to see me. I know he cares even if he would not say it out loud.

Jiraiya was no longer seen when I regained consciousness, but I did find out about the new tattoo on my body, situated on the middle part of my back. I was not supposed to discover it, but then pain erupted from that part of my physique and I had to go check if I was injured somewhere and if I did not notice. The next thing I know, a black circular pattern of  _Kanji_ was engraved there using ink.

Sounds familiar?

Yes, because they fucking thought it would be a good idea to carve a  _seal_ on me. Apparently, both Jiraiya and Auntie Kanari assumed  _Fuinjutsu_ would appeal to me. Even though they informed me of what would happen briefly before my breakdown, I didn't think they would violate me in my most vulnerable states. Who knows what the seal is all about, and that is what's most  _dangerous_ about it. The fact that I was not awake to see, or feel, the seal they placed on me is very unnerving. It didn't matter if Auntie said it'd improve my chakra and get me going with my training, true or not. I want the full details about it. The shit hurts like a bitch even now and they think I'd dismiss it as  _harmless_?

That situation pretty much ended with me yelling at the top of my lungs for my aunt to get the fuck out and never see me again.

_EVER_.

_I was so, so MAD_.

I didn't think she would do that.

For Jiraiya, if I ever see him, I'd definitely ask him for information about this seal and then maybe bludgeon the entire frog family. The ass didn't even stay and tell me the stability of this stupid seal. The dangers I would face with this is numerous. I could  _die_. I don't know much about fuinjutsu, but I am pretty sure, that if done or handled wrong, it could  _kill_.

"Sayuri, mind telling me why you're in this state?" Kibo crossed his arms, regarding me with displeasure.

I made a peace sign instead. "Well, hello there."

He tapped his foot impatiently, looking more and more annoyed. "Sayuri, you're compelled to answer the question. If I am going to see you here frequently then you might as well—"

"Okay, hold your chicken legs, Kibo." I cut him off, amused at the little kid's expressions. "I am fine, okay? I wasn't supposed to even be here, but you know me. I love hospitals. You don't need to be so worried."

"No, I didn't know you like hospitals and I was not worried."

I shrugged. "Say what you want, Kibo. Noth—"

This time, I was the one who got cut off.

I glared at the person who screamed  _'Yuu-chan,_ barreling inside the room, already knowing it would be Shisui. Followed by Izumi, of course. The duo, unfortunately, never left me alone. Especially the curly-haired boy whom I thought would be busy since he's a ninja and is supposed to do his duties.

"Uchiha-san, for the nth time, it's Sayuri." I glowered at him, aiming for intimidation. The ridiculous nickname has got to stop. Though I know that would be ignored like all the last times. The boy never listens. Izumi went for first name basis immediately, but atleast she didn't make up stupid names from my own name.

"'Yuu-chan, why are you in the hospital? Huh? Which part of you is injured?" He looked me up and down for wounds as I rolled my eyes at his attempt of convincing me that he's worried. We're not in that caliber of friendship, if it ever was called  _that_ , where we'll be concerned for each other's well-being. I bet he can feel the energy emanating from the seal on my body. He's too suspicious for his own good.

I managed to catch a flash of red from him. I wasn't stupid. Even though it was too quick, I knew he used the Sharingan on me. He  _scares_ me. The thought that he'd suspect a little kid like me, consider a  _weak_  civilian like me to even cause haywire is extremely off-putting. Even at a young age he's obsessed with protecting the village.  _The village_ , not the people in it.

"I'm fine, Uchiha-san." I said instead, ignoring his intentions.

"But are you really?" Izumi asked, genuinely concerned. "Nobody gets sent to the hospital and is okay, Sayuri-chan."

I snorted, "Unfortunately, I love hospitals unlike a lot of people. I don't need to  _not_  be okay to be here."

Kibo only sighed. "I'll take note of that, Sayuri. In the future, in case you decide to jump off a cliff for longer stay, I don't need to question your sanity then."

"So, 'Yuu-chan." Shisui grinned excitedly. "I heard you've met one of the Sannin."

Kibo and Izumi suddenly looked at me in awe. I cursed Shisui multiple times in my head for even thinking of bringing this up. Unfortunately,  _one of the Sannin_  is my least favorite person as of now so I truly have no plans to indulge them on how I met him.

"Really, Sayuri-chan?" Izumi's eyes sparkled. "You're so lucky! Who did you meet? Was it Orochimaru-sama?"

"But Orochimaru-sama gives me goosebumps," Kibo frowned. "I doubt Sayuri would last longer than necessary in his presence."

"Yeah, who did you meet, 'Yuu-chan?" Shisui pushed, in contrast to how I want to pull his hair out right now.

"Jiraiya-sama," I simply replied.

Hell, I'd be damned if I met Orochimaru. He's still in the village, that I am sure. I just don't know if he's experimenting kids now or not. Itachi is still young right now and he only ever left the village shortly after seeing the power of his bloodline limit, and being caught red-handed by the Hokage, experimenting on children. I don't want to meet that kind of person no matter how much tragic backstory he has in store for all the world to pity. The fact still remains that he is a kidnapper, doing inhumane experiments to unaware children. That's something you can't just throw away. It's logical to feel fear and run away. It's rational to not think about the good side of everyone for once if it's what keeps you alive.

"That's so cool, Sayuri-chan! And you're not even shinobi."

Yeah, and I met all of you even though I was not shinobi. How do you explain  _that_?

"Do you want to go grab some dango later?" Shisui offered, lips pulled in a grin. "You can bring Kibo-san."

"Yeah, Sayuri," Kibo pouted. "I want dangos. And you're not getting in my way by lying on that stupid hospital bed forever."

"I can and I will." I laid back down again after I stuck my tongue out at them. "Get out of my room, Kibo and friends."

Suddenly the room became silent and it made me sit up to see what was wrong. They were all looking at me like I knew how to fly. I furrowed my brows as Kibo began questioning the gaping expressions on their faces.

"Uh, guys?" He waved his hands in front of the dumbfounded expressions of both Shisui and Izumi's still forms. "You fine?"

What the hell? Did they get into some kind of genjutsu or something? Do I have super powers now that I did not know existed? Did I unconsciously weave them into an unknown technique? Because that would be pretty awesome.

"What?" I crossed my arms. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Y-You..." Izumi began, a hand to her heart. "You just called us... You just said... You..."

Okay, that was a very fulfilling conversation. I rolled my eyes.

Finally, when Izumi completely malfunctioned, looking at me all teary-eyed, Shisui smirked, teasingly poking me on the cheek. I attempted to bite it off, but I was too slow. Stupid ninja moves.

"You called us your  _friends_." The emphasis Shisui made was spot on and I only tilted my head in wonder.

"I think I said  _Kibo and friend_ _s_."

"But still!" Izumi, who regained her senses, exclaimed happily, bouncing up to my face that I flinched back from the invasion of personal space bubbles. "You still referred to us as your  _friends_."

I thought back to what I said and I was even more confused. I'm pretty sure what I mentioned was a reference to that show,  _Thomas and Friends_. And I don't really get why they found it so mind-blowing that I called them  _friends_. Izumi mostly, considering I've been trying my best to avoid them at all occasions. Sadly they always appear at every direction I plan to go to and I am not sure why Izumi can do that. Shisui would be an obvious reason, though. I know he memorized my chakra enough to know where I am all the time.

"I knew you'd give in eventually, 'Yuu-chan. I tell you again and again that this very moment would happen." The curly-haired Uchiha stated quite playfully as I put on a straight face. That face will tell him to shut up.

"Hey!" Suddenly, Kibo's voice erupted in a loud boom and I craned my neck to look at him. "What's this about, Sayuri? You never considered them friends at all?

"No."

"Sayuri!"

"Don't worry, Kibo-san." Shisui, the most confident kid, threw an arm around his shoulder in a reassuring way. "'Yuu-chan might be cold as ice, but we are made of fire."

Yes, and  _literally_ so. Oh, you burned  _so_  brightly, Shisui. I wonder if it was ever too much for you to take that you turned into ashes instead.

"Yeah!" Izumi happily joined in and I can only shake my head in defeat.

"Fine, whatever you think, I don't care anymore." Standing up from the bed, I told them that I wanted to go grab dango, if it's the only way to shut them up. "But I need to take a bath first. At home, that is."

"Yeah, you smell."

Well,  _duh_.

* * *

"Sayuri,  _please_." My aunt begged, desperation clear in her voice. "Just talk to me. I can explain."

No, she can't. Not without Jiraiya, no. She's not a fuinjutsu specialist and I doubt half of the things she'd spew out to me wouldn't be complete trash. The fucking  _respectable_ Sannin was the one who disrespected me by putting a goddamn seal on me so he should be the one illuminating me about it. The only thing my aunt keeps saying is that it would enhance my chakra. How the hell am I supposed to know if that's true? Or assure me that it's just the simple things in life?

Questions swim in my head regarding why I should even need chakra enhancement. Why do I need  _power-ups,_ as what my aunt called it? Or is it even all to it? The exposition is too vague.

"Talk to you?! Kanari, you sent my daughter to the hospital  _twice_ and not only that, but with the fact that you inked something on her body of who knows what! Knocked out! And I can't believe the Sannin would even dare agree to this. He is supposed to be a master. "

Mother, who went outside of our house to confront her, raised her voice an octave higher. Her eyes were of burning fury. Did I say I have a sweet mother? Well, true, but don't piss her off.

"Nee-chan, I swear the seal is not dangerous. Don't you trust Jiraiya-sama? He wouldn't perform a seal without perfecting it and studying it thoroughly. He's a master sealer so of course he knows what he's doing. I can assure you one hundred percent that the seal is for her own good."

I was inside, my back against the wall near the doorframe, listening in to their conversation. Perhaps it would be okay to hear from her side, though I would still need Jiraiya's full assessment. It'd rest my case then.

"Knocked out?!" Mom breathed, louder than normal. "Please explain to me why Jiraiya- _sama,_ a master sealer, would consent to such actions with the subject unaware of the case happening to her? Sayuri deserves to make her own decisions if she wants it or not. It is her body, Kanari. How dare you deprive my daughter of her own choices? This is her life,  _remember that well._ "

'Her life'.  _My_ life.  _My_ body. The implication was never reassuring. Maybe because I wasn't supposed to be here. Maybe because I still think this life is someone else's and I was only stealing it away. Regardless, what they performed did not impress me at all. And they thought knocking me out cold wasn't enough too.

"You're not thinking straight here, Ketsueki Akira!" Auntie's voice had frustration mixed with. She was also tired, but I didn't care. They  _never_ should have done that.

"It did not matter if she's awake or not, the seal must be performed on that day, especially that she's consuming yet again another bucket of her energy. Time does not stand still, Nee-chan! It's even better that she's not conscious, at least that way she doesn't feel the pain. It's a moment of  _desperation_. We do not waste. Come on, you do want your daughter to  _live,_ right? Her choices shouldn't matter in her complicated condition. Besides, she's too young to comprehend and make her own verdicts on the matter even if it's all about her."

_What?_

Hold up.

What the fuck is actually happening? What did she mean when she said that my mother wants me to  _live_? What is wrong with me?! Why can't I understand? Was I going to  _die_ if I did not take the seal? Energy?  _Complicated condition_? Why is nobody telling me anything?!

"Hey, you brat."

A rough voice barked somewhere and I looked up to meet the eyes of the owner. It was Gramps and he was on his wheelchair, looking back at me with weary eyes. He was going bedridden and just yesterday his condition was proclaimed to be something unsalvageable, prior to what the doctors have said yesterday. His bones were going powerless to support his full body. It made sense, considering he's in his nineties. It's amazing how he lived longer than thirty in this kind of world.

"Gramps?"

He motioned the back of his wheelchair with his thumb. "Take me to the backyard."

I complied with his request, grabbing his wheelchair and steering him to the direction of our backyard. While going there, it was completely silent between us, with me contemplating about what my aunt and mother were going on about. They were still there, continuing their argument. Nothing really made sense right now. Even Gramps. It's so odd not hearing the usual grumpiness in his voice or seeing it in his posture. He looks so  _drained_ , so tired.

He only spoke up when we reached our destination. "You're quite the eavesdropper, brat."

I sat down on the grass beside him, huffing irritably. "I have every right to, Gramps. They were talking about  _me_. I deserve to know whatever they were spewing out about me."

And just when I thought he'd scold me heavily for it, he only looked down at me sadly. It made me uncomfortable. He never looks at me that way. Not once in my life did I see him use that expression on me.

"You are stupid as you are smart."

I snorted. "Well, that made sense."

He ignored me, giving me that same, sad look. "What will you do if you face death? Are you afraid of it, child? Or... do you wish to die?"

"No." I automatically responded, confident with my answer. "I do not wish to die, but I hope I live a life where I don't have to constantly worry about it, Gramps. I am afraid of it, naturally, since I do not want to die at all."  _Ever again._ "And if I am faced with death," which already happened, "I might as well run away from it."

"You cannot run away from death. That is absurd."

Uh, yes I  _can_. I'm freakin' special like that. "Maybe or maybe not."

"But you can fight for your life, brat. No matter if you go down in the end. You should fight for it so that even if you fall, you'd miss everything, but you won't ever regret anything."

And I only nodded, not really knowing how to respond to that sentiment or why we're even talking about that in the first place. I still want to listen in to my mom and aunt's conversation about me because that raised a lot of questions from me and I was beginning to feel stupid with all the things I am confused about.

"You don't trust them." Gramps said and I looked at him in surprise. "You never did, brat."

"O-Of course I do!" I declared, quite perplexed that he thinks so, but I don't think I'm sure anymore or if I ever was to begin with. These days just made me question everything and it's frustrating as hell. I was just a civilian. I wasn't supposed to deal with all this  _drama_.

"You don't." He pointedly said that I felt like there was no room for argument on that. "But you want to. And you should. And they're  _begging_ you to. Accept it, brat."

"This world is full of Madara descendants whether in blood or not and you cannot live along without anyone you trust. You need at least one person to lean on. They love you and regardless of what they'd do that you may think wrong in the future, still,  _trust them_. It is not easy, but you could try. They're the few people who wouldn't want you dead at all. You're six years old, I know, but I know you understand what I am saying. You are smart.  _Very_. And not the kind that spews out something like _kunai facts_ out of nowhere. You are smart for you know the dangers of this world. That is the kind of intelligence Konoha needs right now that they don't want."

I don't get the whole of what Gramps just said, but the last part I can comprehend. Konoha wouldn't want someone who knows how to fear death, but someone who'd go into battle with no reservations. They'd pick those adamant on fighting for the village without thinking about who's wrong and who's right. They fail to see the importance of seeing the other side of this heroic facade or even thinking twice about how not to underestimate the war zone. That's being extremely  _careless_.

But about  _trust_ , well, "Gramps, how do you even trust a person when they don't even tell you anything?"

But he only gazed at me, eyes with so much depth transitioning into a knowing stare. "It's not a matter of  _how,_ it's a matter of  _why_. Ask yourself that over and over to find the answer."

* * *

_The little girl crinkled her nose in bewilderment. She did not get it. "Mom, how do you discover it?"_

_Her mother smiled again._

_"It's not a matter of_ **_how._ ** _It's a matter of **why**."_

_But fifteen years later and the little girl still did not find the answer._


	18. To Fight A Leaf

_The free bird thinks of another breeze_   
_and the trade winds soft through the sighing trees_   
_and the fat worms waiting on a dawn-bright lawn_   
_and he names the sky his own._

_But a caged bird stands on the grave of dreams_   
_his shadow shouts on a nightmare scream_   
_his wings are clipped and his feet are tied_   
_so he opens his throat to sing_

_\- Maya Angelou_

* * *

I agreed to see my aunt again.

I agreed to train again.

I realize that I have to continue where I ended so to finish this quickly. Gramps told me so and I don't ever have to deal with this again. I didn't want to, but he thinks it's for the best. I even asked why I should finish it through and through. It was not even important that I should and I think I've already learned enough. He only insisted more, sounding like my life depended on it. Because of that same desperation, only clipped, that I've been hearing a lot lately from others, I considered the idea.

Also, he was  _glaring_ at me. Too much.

So, when I got to the training ground, I sighed in relief as the aunt I was looking for was there, jumping in alarm as she saw my approaching figure. Auntie Kanari, soon realizing that it was only me, slowly relaxed as she stared at me like I wasn't there. "'Yuri-chan… why are you…?"

I rolled my eyes. "If you're going to ask a dumb question, save it."

Her eyes only widened, "Are you really going to train with  _me_ again after all…"

"No." I looked away, crossing my arms. "Gramps begged me to. You should give him your thanks that I even agreed to continue all this."

We stood there, unmoving and longer than necessary. I did not know why she's not saying anything or telling me to do my push-ups or laps or something on the count of her favorite number. We're supposed to be moving along and not wasting any more time.

I chose to narrow my eyes at her, wondering why she's still staring at me like I'm an alien. "Hello? Earth to Auntie Kanari? I believe it's time to start training."

"Earth to…?" She shook her head, fully regaining her senses back, grinning from ear to ear. "That's great! 'Yuri-chan, please start the day with – "

I cut her off, knowing what she was going to say. " _Twenty_ laps and push-ups?"

"Yes, you got that right, 'Yuri-chan!"

How could I forget? It's basically  _tradition_.

The day began with sweat and probably tears for making me run too much or use my muscles a lot. It made me wish that I can already draw chakra from my system so I could cheat and make my life way easier. This body kind of sucks right now.

* * *

"What do you know about chakra?" Auntie Kanari stood before me as I sat on the grass, tired from all the exertion. I only looked at her and shrugged.

"A bit."

"How much?"

"Well, Princess Kaguya was the first person to ever attain chakra from this so-called god tr – "

She cut me off, glaring at me. "Not that, 'Yuri-chan. That's not what I meant."

I grimaced, not really liking how she cut me off. Besides, what did she mean? I was only telling her what I know. "What do you want to hear?"

She only pinched the bridge of her nose, frustrated. By then she sat down in front of me. "Oh my, 'Yuri-chan. You know  _nothing_."

"I told you, I know – "

"History, although mythical, does not count."

"It so does," I stubbornly insisted, earning a glare from her.

Since when did she know how to glare at me? She never did that before, only looking at me with exasperation. Perhaps something changed, but I do not know what. Someone should remind her I was the one who was wronged and not the other way around. She shouldn't be giving me the glares.

"Chakra is a form of energy that all individuals possess to some degree. It is very important to use when you want to do jutsus or seals, walking on water or on trees. We all value it very much."

I nodded. "So, basically, those who run out of chakra will die."

"Wrong." She instantly corrected. I only looked at her weirdly. I'm sure I was right. Is there any other explanation?

"There are two types of energies in our body: the  _Yin_ and the  _Yang._  Yin is our spiritual energy as Yang is our physical energy. Yin means our chakra. Chakra can be washed-out, sure, but it can also be returned. You may die only when you perform techniques that require a massive Yin-Yang Release which is a mix of both Yin and Yang. The mix of Yin and Yang is dangerous when you perform techniques that will risk a lot of your energy."

I crinkled my nose, bewildered. Nothing makes sense now. "But I thought that over the years chakra became our life force too, what, with all the people inheriting the energy I thought that life energy before chakra would disappear. Isn't that how genetics work?"

"That's a myth. Although generations have passed, life force will remain even if it is only a little by now," she speedily replied, not giving room for comments on the matter.

I frowned as the answer she gave was too vague and the hurrying tone in her voice sent warning bells. She's hiding something again. Once I am older and stronger, I will uncover the stupid secrets they're keeping from me and I will find out soon enough. For now, I urged her to continue instead.

"Yang energy is different. It involves our vitality, apparently. As the years go by, Yin and Yang have mixed a lot in our system that when you lose your Yin, Yang will only function to make you exist in  _very_ few years compared to having Yin. When you lose Yang, you will completely die for Yin alone becomes unstable in your body. The adaptation one would expect is too instantaneous. The perfect bond is needed to make you breathe the world."

That's how I understood. It sounded like  _chemistry_. How yin is probably hydrogen as yang is oxygen. As chakra is twice as big as the life force, it balances perfectly to form a certain  _solvent_ where one can benefit from the existence of the other. The solvent would be the techniques performed as they dissolve a lot of the incoming attacks to you. Then you found the  _solution_.

Damn, the pun is lit.

Moving on.

"So," I began, raising one of my eyebrows. "What's this talk of chakra about?"

She seemed startled, as if she did not expect the question. "Well… it's because – "

"I don't have chakra?"

"No!" She exclaimed, louder than usual, a hand over her heart. "What are you talking about? We would not let that happen."

"Good to know." Yes, and I meant it. I seriously have no plans with death right now. What a waste it would be to get reincarnated here then and not live longer than my past life.

She sighed, "I was just introducing to you what you would be learning today, in regard to the seal on your body."

"Yeah," I snorted. "I've been thinking about that too. Anyway, does this seal really do anything?"

Then she smiled, that  _too happy_ smile, like babies seeing alpacas for the first time, thinking it's a toy. "It does absolutely  _everything_."

By then I ignored her because the emphasis did not make sense and who knows what runs in and out of Auntie's head. She's dramatic like that.  _Everything_ this and  _everything_ that.

By then, I ignored her because the emphasis did not make sense and who knows what runs in and out of Auntie's head. She's dramatic like that.

"What does this seal  _really_ do?"

She only shook her head. "I'm afraid only Jiraiya-sama, the Sannin who attended to you, can satisfy your question. I would give an answer, but I have a feeling that you won't believe me."

Yep. That's right. I'm so proud of you for realizing that.

"So, let's begin!" Clapping her hands twice, she stood up excitedly, eyes never leaving my form that did not move an inch. When I was about to stand as well, she pushed me back down. I wanted to kick her.

"No, don't stand yet", she scolded. I rolled my eyes. This day is officially  _rolling-your-eyes_ day. People are so annoying.

"'Yuri-chan, since you know we all have chakra, I want you to  _meditate_. Focus and find your center because your center—"

"My center is my vagina," I deadpanned.

She glared at me, but her face was slowly turning red. "– is where you'll find your chakra, shut up, Sayuri!"

What, I was only telling the truth. Why is she so embarrassed, it's not like it's a prohibited word. People should be more mature about these things, especially in her case, since she's  _old_. What's so wrong about it? It's just a part of the human body, specifically the  _female's_.

Nevertheless, she continued speaking, "As I was saying, you should focus and find the energy that lies in you. Once you are able to find it, you will try to summon it and use it with this leaf."

She gave me a dried leaf and I took it in my hand, examining it. Is she going to make me do a leaf exercise? If she's making me channel  _energy,_ such as chakra, through a  _dried_ leaf, wouldn't that process be harder than channeling chakra through a fresher leaf? Well, it will soon be destroyed before it successfully sticks to my forehead.

When she took the dried leaf from my hand and put in a feet in front of me, I questioned what we were going to actually do, thinking this wouldn't be a leaf exercise but a ritual of some sort. She took out five more leaves and distributed it one by one so that it would form a circle to surround me. I only became more confused. This is definitely  _new._

"So, we are going to do another version of the leaf exercise. Dried leaves are actually much more effective than the alternative. You'll soon realize once you begin the exercise. To achieve this, you need proper procedures. The Academy is slightly vacuous in teaching this type of beginner's chakra lesson that's why a lot of them don't get it in fast pace. I only learnt this from my Sensei when I was still Genin. Close your eyes and think about nothing for a few seconds, relax your muscles and make sure no other thought will go in to your head. Do not mind your environment. After that, let your mind wander. Once you get it down, you'll soon know the next step."

I closed my eyes, complying with her instructions and thought about nothing for a few seconds. Inside my mind is total oblivion and the only thing I know is I am in a world of  _nothing._  Black is the only color I am in sync with.

Then I let my thoughts  _run._

* * *

_"My little Lori, what do you want to become in the future?"_

_A woman, with hair that matched the color of wood, sat beside a small child, looking at her with those icy blue eyes of hers, a gentle smile on her lips. The little girl fidgeted alongside her, looking back at her with the same eyes. She had her blonde hair up in pigtails, smiling at her widely._

_"I want to be a soldier."_

_The woman's eyes widened a fraction, surprise clear on her face. She did not expect that from the girl. "You want to be a… soldier?" Then she laughed, her face lit with happiness._

_Seeing this, the little girl pouted, crossing her arms and looking away as if embarrassed. "It's not funny, Mom."_

_"I know." The woman finally stopped laughing, choosing to look at her daughter in amusement. "But do you know what a soldier is?"_

_She only harrumphed, turning back to face her. "I'm not stupid. Teacher said that they fight for the country, for the world. She said it's what heroes, like Batman and Superman, do. Mom, you know my dream is to become like them. I wanted to fight for the world too."_

_That woman's smile is still etched on her lips. "Big words, my little Lori."_

_"So? It's still not funny."_

_"It wasn't funny," she responded to the little girl instead, "But it made me happy."_

_"Why?" By now the child was beyond confused._

_"Because it's an honor to be speaking with the future hero of the world."_

_The scene blurred, disappearing, replaced with a crowd filled with people dressed in either black or white. The event was confusing, but when a little girl's loud cries could be heard somewhere at the very front, beyond this crowd, it was clear as day that this was a funeral now._

_"I wanted to be a soldier, Eliana_ _!" The little girl tightly grabbed hold of another girl's arm that was standing beside her, tears still streaming down her face._

_The other girl held her hand that was on her arm, "It's okay, Cousin Lori. I'm sure your mommy also wanted that. You can be a soldier without the help of people. My mommy says when you dream then stand on your own two feet!_   _But I don't know what it means."_

_She sniffed, ignoring her cousin. "Eliana, what is the purpose of becoming a hero when you could not save your own mother?"_

_"But you still want to become a hero, right?"_

_The little girl's lips lifted slightly. "Maybe."_

_Then the scene blurred again, transitioning into what seems to be a classroom filled with children, around ten to twelve years old. There is that little blonde haired kid again, gloomy as ever with her glasses only adding to her sad aura._

_"You have pretty hair, Cousin Lori." Her cousin, now grown taller, had her nose scrunched up in disappointment. "Why did you cut it short?"_

_The little girl pouted. "I hate blonde hair. I want to have Mom's brown hair."_

_"You just hate your stepmother that adopted you in. You both have the same hair," her cousin commented, emotionlessly so. "But I think she's nice and pretty. Mommy said she is our friend after all."_

_"NO!" She exclaimed, going defensive. "I don't hate her. I… I just want my Mom's hair. I want my Mom's cooking. I want my Mom's perfume. I want my… Mom."_

_"Mommy says that I should tell you to move on. I don't know what 'move on' means, Cousin Lori, but I think it would make you happy." Her cousin nodded aggressively, eyes showing approval to her statement._

_But the little girl understood anyway. "Mom always said moving on is not simple. Mom always said being forgotten is a bad feeling. Even though Mom says it's okay to forget about her, I won't. No matter what, forever_ _!"_

_"But your hair is still pretty. Having brown hair will not make you pretty, Cousin Lori."_

_"Hair is everything."_

_"Hair is only everything for it is your mommy's hair. Yet you don't have your mommy's hair."_

_The two girls talking disappeared, replaced with teenagers, both of them having the same features, together with two other girls. The little blonde haired kid, now grown, seems to not care what her other companions are speaking about._

_Suddenly, what seems to be the teenage version of her cousin who had her face caked up, spoke to her in a laughing tone. "Sander, didn't you want to become a soldier?"_

_"It's Ferguson." She hissed lowly, uncaring of the other girls' flinching statures. "And that is none of your concern."_

_Another teen with her clicked her tongue playfully at her cousin, eyes showing fake disdain. "Eliana dear, you know it was never 'Lori Anne Sander' but 'Lori Anne Ferguson'. Please stop upsetting our princess over here."_

_"But, alas, she does not deserve that name." Her cousin dramatically showed her sadness. "One cannot bear to aspire a name when it is not theirs as one could not aspire heroism when they could not redeem their own matriarch."_

_The girl targeted only snorted, unaffected by the offensive dramatism. Somehow, being with them all the time made her desensitized of all insults and mockery. She only gave out a short response, sighing._

_"Maybe."_

_Then everything melted back into nothingness._

* * *

My eyes were still closed, but I was aware of the tears streaming down my face, my emotions that were bottled up suddenly exploding inside me, coming down to rest somewhere inside a pit in my stomach. My feelings  _burn_. Like closed wounds bleeding again, like clear eyes filled with dust. The pain paused, but it was never gone. It all rested in one place, gathered and then slowly circulating everywhere, as if the pain was distributed to different parts of me so it would hurt less. But I was still  _crying_.

I realized that I miss everything. I miss my mom even if she is dead. Only in that life she exists. I remember that my cousin's name is Eliana.  _Was_ , when I once knew her. I did not know her anymore. I now have my mother's hair. I remember that I wanted to become a  _soldier_. Guilty that I did not succeed and will never want to.

My name is Lori Anne Ferguson and I  _wanted_  to be a hero.

But I do not want that anymore.

In this life, I do not want to be a soldier.

I do not want to save this world and even if I want to, I could not. I realized that heroes like Superman or Batman could fly because they are free, letting it all go. I was not free, I cannot let go of my memories.

"'Yuri-chan…" A voice called out somewhere far away. It was Auntie Kanari. "Open your eyes."

As I wiped my tears away, I slowly opened my eyes and my eyes were  _very_ surprised to see all six dried leaves that surrounded me hovered above the ground, amazingly so. When I stared longer, it dropped back to the ground. I frowned, forgetting the feelings I felt a while ago. That did not stay longer.

Auntie Kanari approached me, a big smile on her face, placing a hand on my shoulder. "Now, didn't that take some of the weight on your shoulders? Crying helped, right? It always does. Also, you managed to channel chakra to lift those leaves up. It did not stay longer from the ground, but it's a start."

I shoved her hand away, glaring at her. "You call that  _another version_ of the leaf exercise?! No wonder the Academy did not approve of this version since it takes quite an emotional toll on kids."

"Actually," she looked away for a second before meeting my angry eyes again, unsure. "This exercise was the traditional one used in the warring generations before a much more friendly approach was invented."

"My Sensei, when I was Genin, taught us this, being passed on by his clan. This was generally a fast way for chakra to naturally flow into your system for easy channeling. The warring eras weren't friendly 'Yuri-chan, they needed more people on the battlefield and  _fast_. They have no time for slow learners for defense and offense. Having people learn quickly, the better. When the days became better and better, that type of chakra lesson still followed, but when they found out that some kids, even of before, reacted  _negatively_  due to the overexertion of emotions to their chakra system, not quite taking it maturely as expected of aspiring shinobi, the higher ups decided for an alternative instead."

The sneer on my face became more prominent, eyes blazing. "You knew the effects of this stupid exercise yet you still chose to do it to me?!"

"But you are  _smart_ , 'Yuri-chan _!",_  she yelled back. "I don't just  _think_  you can take it, I  _know_ you can. You have a mind that can control your emotions. You do it every day, never showing anything beyond irritation. You have been since you discovered chakra in the past year. Sometimes I ask, 'where is that innocent girl of before?' the stupidly happy one. But then I don't regret what you are now. This shows you're not that  _ignorant_. We all need people like that."

Smart?  _Reincarnated_ , you mean. If I was not then who knows how I would react. They're so sure sometimes that they forget I'm a kid too.

I did not reply, thinking about what I just did a few minutes ago.

So, the exercise was effective. The chakra I unconsciously channeled was not the natural channeling where I focused on the leaves, but more like a start-up engine for it to become a natural thing. That way, when the chakra distributed, some of the energy channeled through the leaves, making it levitate. It was only for a few seconds since I was just beginning and I could not hold emotions for long. Emotions are not the driving force, but  _focus_. Emotions are all brought out in the open for you to focus on the pain after. Then think about letting out energy, focusing on the target.

Dried leaves were used for easier lift, but it should never be used in sticking to the body for it cannot take energy, especially when it comes in close contact.

"So, did your  _bright_  mind figure it out? The purpose of that method?" Auntie Kanari's expression shifted into hopefulness, eyes suddenly bright.

"What do you think?" I raised an eyebrow at her.

"Great!" she exclaimed, then giving me leaves that were now  _green_  and not that dull and dry color. "Now, try to stick this to your body. It is easier. Remember, focus."

"I think  _focusing_ is your only lesson in life to give to me."

"Shut up and do it, 'Yuri-chan."

I took the leaves, grabbing a hold of one, beckoning energy in the palm of my hand where it was placed. Since reincarnation, feeling chakra is made easy thus making it an advantage to channel it to a certain spot, but that does not necessarily mean that I can make the leaf stick like a pro.

Turning my palm upside down, the leaf only held for about three seconds before it fell. I frowned, "So much for all that other version of yours. This sucks."

"What did you expect, 'Yuri-chan? You just awakened your chakra system."

"Yeah, and you said it was going to make life easier and  _fast_." I countered. "Also, why are we doing this other type of exercise if we already did your version? We're seriously just going in circles here."

"We have to also do this." She said lowly. "I chose to do this next step rather than the original one where you get placed in a spot, being subjected to pointy metal objects and you, with the help of both reflex and adrenaline, use your chakra to swiftly dodge or block it from coming at you. I decided you were not yet ready for that even if you cultured taijutsu and progressed well in weaponry. Besides, this technique was derived from formidable clans of before. You are only a civilian."

I rolled my eyes once again, "Then you should have just let me do the normal one. You know I can do it."

Her face showed disbelief. "Who knows how long a civilian kid like you would manage to stick it even if it's only for one or three seconds. Even I can barely manage to achieve it in the Academy, but only ever did when our Genin Sensei introduced it to us. Don't get ahead of yourself, 'Yuri-chan."

When she turned her back to me, I stuck my tongue out at her. She walked away, one hand raising in a sign of farewell. "I'll leave you here to train. Take your time."

Then she was gone. Just like that.

I tried to stick the leaf to my forehead, concentrating my chakra to go to that spot on my head. I waited for a second and it did not budge, but when I was about to celebrate that I can do it like a piece of cake, the leaf fell. That lasted five seconds. What a waste, I can't do it like this all the time.

Regardless, I tried again.

"One, two, three, and four…" I counted, whispering slowly and only focusing on the leaf. "… five, six, and seven – "

"WOW, 'YUU-CHAN!"

"– eight, FUCK!"

I almost punched a certain curly-haired Uchiha for appearing right infront of my face, disturbing my concentration on the exercise. Luckily, said boy caught my fist. I mean, since when did he not?

_But damn Shisui to the seven hells._

And I only made it through eight seconds. It could have been more if he didn't just magically appear. Why the hell is Shisui born  _without_  a stick up his ass? Honestly, that would be so much better for my state of mind.

"What are you doing here, Uchiha-san?" I glared at him. "You just ruined it."

"Ruined what?" He grinned, as if innocent. "Ruined what you're doing wrong in the first place?"

"What do you mean – Okay, you know what? I don't care anymore, I just want to get things done fast so please, Uchiha-san, you can go and bother any people besides me." My eyes twitched, irritated.

And please stop watching me or following me every training hours or even non-training hours. How can I assure you that this little rodent is not a threat to the village? Stupid, stupid idiot. This is why you, meddling Uchihas, died in the first place.

"You know," his eyes twinkled in mischievousness that I would not dare question in this lifetime. I tried to ignore him, going back to what I was doing in the first place. I imagined that Shisui is currently a tree. Yep, that would help.

"I have a friend that can help you – "

"Yeah, yeah," I waved him off, not really caring. "Whatever, keep talking. Do whatever you want."

Suddenly, his grin grew bigger and I wanted to cringe. That smile is not good. Anyone who smiles like that has their sanity on the line.

I was even more bewildered when he suddenly left, excitedly so and not once glancing back. Who knows what he's up to, he's probably going to come back to kill me later. Shisui's crazed part of his mind would be something to be questioned forever.

I shook my head, continuing what I was doing and fully forgetting about Shisui.


	19. Run Away

_"Choose, everyday, to forgive yourself. You are human, flawed, and most of all worthy of love."_

_\- Alison Malee_

* * *

Apparently, running helps. It gives you time to think about things that sends your mind blowing up. Literally speaking, in my current situation, I don't have the best of both worlds. Not in my past life and definitely not in this one. That's why my mind is in chaos right now. I'm afraid passing out would not help my current situation. The second best option would be running away. Even if it's hopeless to do so. I only pray some higher deity would have mercy and transport me to somewhere that would not risk my sanity. The Barbie World would do. I can't handle this anymore.

Stupid Shisui went too far this time. I can tolerate the happy-go-lucky charm and all the bullshit about him being the most unique Uchiha to have ever existed, only second to Obito. Hell, I could even take the possibility that he's a spy or someone ordered around to watch out my every move for fear that I might start another shinobi war. But  _this?_ OH, HELL NO _._ I thought he could not possibly do anything worse.

I clearly wasn't informed of the special Itachi card. It's kind of like fate saved it for me and my future misery.

Oh, it was just another training day, him appearing out of nowhere and spewing out nonsense like a toddler high on sugar, and little old me ignoring him like the usual. It was only then that I realized that listening to him actually saves you from further self-destruction. I did not know the first thing he would babble about that day, and the first thing I would ignore would be about how he's bringing his  _cute_ _cousin_ over for an action-packed worthy performance (Or that's what I think). Bunch of show-offs, really.

So, by the time I heard not one, but two voices seemingly arguing, I turned to the direction of the noise. Shisui would be the owner of that loud voice, no doubt. The other one with an odd politeness in his speech for a little kid is someone I immediately made eye contact with. They stopped talking then. After a second of me and the kid staring at each other, I  _ran_.

Of course, I recognized the kid. Shisui only has one cousin that he's super close with, bringing him over everywhere he wants to go. Also, no one in the Uchiha Clan, except  _Itachi Uchiha,_ speaks politely without a hint of either pride or arrogance in their voice.

Get that?

 _Itachi Uchiha_.

_The **Itachi Uchiha.**_

I was not even sure where I was running anymore. I'm probably deep in the forest already and currently spending time to burn the dizzying factors reaching my head again. Should I turn back? And come face to face with the boy who started it  _all_? Even if I did, Shisui would find me suspicious and it would make him all the more alert around me. It's a strange sight, actually. To see a little girl running away from his cousin. They must find me weird now. Lots of girls throw themselves at them unlike me even though it's kind of weird that they do. I mean, they're  _six_.

Don't they know that they should know that boys have cooties and it's gross that they pick their nose?

But, that would be a total three-sixty of Itachi's whole existence.

The kid's got  _grace_.

When I was six in my past life, and maybe even now, I walk like a penguin. Totally not fair, you stupid little illusionist. Kiddy legs shouldn't work that way. Nor do they favor you just because you're a fire-spitting, cross-loving, prodigious little diva.

"'YUU-CHAN!"

Oh, go fuck yourself, Shisui.

I  _madly, truly, deeply_ hate kids.

I finally stopped running when I reached a cliff. A dead end. There's nowhere else to go now. Unless my knight in shimmering, shining armor that would look like Leonardo Dicaprio would magically appear out of nowhere and take me somewhere far away, I would happily jump to my dreams. Sadly, I was not reincarnated in some bizarre romantic fantasy that would hinder me from Uchiha attacks. Although I do wish sea lions would appear below this very cliff where the water is found, and devour them, ultimately making them mermaids in this lifetime.

But this isn't some Greek mythology shit I'm currently starring in. How wonderful it would be if it was.

I was already panting when two figures appeared before me, startling me that I took a step back. One was grinning at me like we're playing tag and they knew I'm  _it_. The other one held my gaze, with eyes so intense that they widened ever so slowly, as if realizing something.

"Shisui," Itachi turned to the curly-haired brat. "I know her."

Well, of course you do, you dimwit. Your memory is quite interesting, actually. You're practically a vessel for stupid photographic memory and superior deduction skills. I would pay lots to get your brain. Not surprised.

"Hmm?" Shisui, now curious, looked at his cousin in surprise. "You met, Itachi?"

"No," he shook his head in reply. "It was during the Kyuubi Attack, Shisui."

"Wait," Shisui paused and looked like he just came to a conclusion. "Is she the girl you told me about that you thought was dead? You tried to save her, but she ran away at the sight of you, right, much like now? Now, that's... a big surprise."

Itachi only nodded. My eyes wandered to his trembling hands. When I met his gaze again, his eyes darkened, as if he did not like that I saw that, and he clenched his fists. His face was still blank as ever and it made me frustrated. What's his deal? He's clearly suppressing his emotions. I just know that look. Gramps gives me that same look when he wants to scream at me, but can't because he has a sore throat.

Oh, you know what? I don't care if this little punk that Shisui dragged along right here is mad at me for some unknown reason. I just want my peace and quiet back, without a prodigy coming over to disturb it, thank you very much. Now, how to tell these little folks that're currently making conversation about me like I was not here to politely go away.

I inhaled sharply, deciding to give them a show. I placed a hand on my heart and acted like I was a woman about to give birth. "Guys, this is a serious situation. I'm on my menstrual period. You need to leave so I could clean myself or something. I didn't think that even after running to cover myself of this embarrassing situation, you'd still follow me."

"Menstrual periods don't happen when you're six, 'Yuu-chan," Shisui pointed out, unimpressed. "Even if you do have your period, we'd gladly help you out."

Remind me in the near future to never let these kids interfere with my womanly progress. They're quite scary.

"Shisui, this girl is afraid of me.", Itachi bluntly pointed out, and I frowned. Damn, he nailed it. "The question is, why?"

Oh, boy. You  _shine_  a lot, Itachi. But please don't rust others. Of course I'm afraid of you. Who wouldn't when the rest of your life is the only thing I memorized through and through and no matter how much I try to forget it, your stupid sob story sticks like glue! It never made sense as to why I remember everything about you as clear as day.

Shisui did not have time to answer for I yelled at them, like the idiot I am, to 'take a step back or I'll kill myself', grabbing a kunai from my weapon pouch and resting it against my neck. I do hope they'd leave me alone. I've seen tactics like these on TV to make people do what you want. That is, if they value my life. Or theirs, for the matter that they'd be questioned why a little girl is suddenly dead before them. They wouldn't make their own clan lose anymore face than they already did, right?

Maybe that was just my assumptions for Shisui suddenly appeared before me as I jumped back at the contact of his hand clenched tightly around the hand I held the kunai with, urging me to push it forward as I struggled to do so. When our eyes met, I flinched at the sight of three tomoes spinning dangerously around  _dark red_  eyes, almost like I was seeing into a glass filled with  _blood_. I can't speak, paralyzed with the heavy feeling like someone weighing you down. I can only stare back.

"Shisui!" Itachi exclaimed, also startled by the sudden movement of his cousin.

"Go for it, 'Yuu-chan," he smiled, but it was not friendly anymore. "If you want to risk your life for a mere condition, then  _go for it_. We are not afraid. Besides, what is your life to us?"

"W-What?" I croaked out, seemingly losing my voice.

His hand tightened and I feel like my knuckles will bruise from that force. I tried to tug my hand away as he wouldn't let go. I was close to hyperventilating  _again_. All this heavy atmosphere that feels like I'm being trapped, as if begging me to get down on my knees pathetically is slowly driving me insane. But I would not let myself get beaten down like this. How dare he make me feel this way? Shisui, you idiot. You must know I hate closed spaces. Did he really think I'm a pushover?

I tried to punch him away with my other hand, but with the Sharingan on he definitely caught my fist. I kicked his feet, but when I did, he tripped me and I was on my back, being pushed against the ground by his arm as he managed to throw the kunai I was holding to a nearby tree. I tried to pull his hair, but he gut my stomach with his elbow. I howled in pain and I just want to smack him.

"What's your problem, you psycho?!" I spat, furious that he even dared to wrestle me to the ground. "You think you're so cool, huh? And just because your Uchiha. Let me tell you, the Uchihas are a bunch of arrogant  _shitheads_!"

Shisui, still holding me down as I struggled to get up, narrowed his eyes at me dangerously. His Sharingan was still activated. "Is that so?"

"It's of best interest that you do not speak in such way of the Uchiha, Ketsueki-san."

A deep voice that sounded like it did not belong from the three of us was heard somewhere, but I was too angry to even realize that there's been a new addition to the group. I only laughed, finding all of it funny. "You say that now, but seven years later, when you're all too stupid to think twice about stuff, we'll be having a bet on exactly how many people gets to wipe out a whole crowd of you chimpanzees."

"Is that a threat?" Shisui's voice held warning. He sounds ready to kill. I forget sometimes that Shisui is exactly the type of ninja, like everyone brainwashed by the stupid  _Will of Fire_ , to kill anyone who dares endanger either clan or village. He's giving importance to his clan right now for he doesn't know of the future yet.

I stared back. "The right question would be if the threat is from me." I glanced at Itachi's questioning gaze.

The arm pushing me down increased in force and I couldn't breathe. By then, my eyes blurred and my throat clogged. It was only then did I see another figure, older and much more leaner, looking down at me from above, bangs framing his face as his eyebrows furrowed in most likely, annoyance. To what annoyed him, I don't have time to care.

What I know is that I am probably going to get killed earlier than death waters kid. Or before the graceful illusionist gets to obsess over protecting his brother, he'd go so far as to bleach a whole compound  _red_.

I don't think I've met this new person before, but he's definitely Uchiha. Makes me wonder if Shisui thought it would be a good time to finally arrest the kid he thinks is a possible threat by the Uchiha Police Force. He's so going to get it when I get out of here alive. Just he fucking wait. That total loser fucking dared to arrest a little powerless kid like me? He'd be so sorry one day, when he's hanging on to a thread with one eye while fighting an old warhawk, that he didn't treat me better. He'd be surprised I grew into Gal Gadot in the future, kicking butts while he cowers in fear, desperately calling for me to save him.

I yelped in pain as Shisui grabbed me by the collar harshly while I still struggle to smack his face, wanting to see him spit blood so we'd call it even. You know what? I might as well turn into Gal Bladder faster than I could say Wonder Woman.

"'Tou-san," I heard Itachi's voice from afar, but I have no strength to lift my head anymore because I'm feeling dizzy again and just because of how Itachi addressed the new man. "Must we do this?"

"Orders from the Hokage."

Then I passed out.

* * *

When I woke up, the first thing I did was lash out at Shisui.

"YOU FUCKING BASTARD!" I tried to punch him, kick him, do anything just to hit him. "I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOUR FACE EVER AGAIN!"

But Shisui only laughed heartily while avoiding my attacks easily, as if what happened earlier before I fainted was just another joyful memory in his life. All the more punch-worthy. "Relax, 'Yuu-chan. Look, I know you're upset and all, but in honor of our friendship, why don't we call it quits, neh?"

I threw the pillow I laid on at him. "GET OUT, YOU SHITHEAD! GET OUT!"

Call it quits?! I didn't get to land even a single hit at him, but he damaged me severely. There are bruises on my knuckles as well as across my shoulder from the pressure of his arm that pushed me down against the ground. He remained unscathed and he wants to call it  _quits_?! It's only  _quits_  if he'll let me bash his head against Itachi's forehead protector. That way, that stupid shinobi headband is pleasing to the eye.

"Shisui." Itachi spoke, voice even. "Please, leave. I would like to talk to Ketsueki-san."

Shisui whined, glancing back at me. "But Itachi–"

"Shisui."

The curly-haired culprit immediately left.

Oh, so the youngsters get to boss the old ones now? A six year old is actually capable of sounding like a Hokage. This brat's so bossy even when speaking to his closest cousin. He better not try that commanding tone at me.

"Ketsueki-san." Itachi nodded and I copied him. "I'm Itachi Uchiha."

I looked at him weirdly. What's with this kid, sounding all serious and all? Also, his hands are shaking again and eyes darkening. I really wonder if he wants to scream or not. Or if he wants to cry. But it's just so not him to lash out like that, even as a kid. It's also not his thing to cry to a stranger. He's a pitiful bunch, I suppose. Did his parents teach him suppressing emotions too much could kill you? Seen war at age four? Oh, that's cruel. Though, I suppose it makes sense. We are at war after all. Getting him to see live action would be something to wash away his ignorance. He should probably thank his dad.

But if I were Itachi and my own dad decided to send me out to see war, I'd tell him to stick his head up his own ass.

But that's just me.

In the end, Itachi's mind will never run like ordinary people's. He's the king of martyrdom and all things stupid, I tell you. Totally an idiot. Someone should tell him becoming a pushover is not a career choice.

"Yeah, nice to meet you." I said, uninterested. By the way, thanks for making me pass out again. I think I know who that tall figure is now.

"You're alive."

"Obviously." I rolled my eyes.

"I thought you were dead." His hands clenched, but his face is still devoid of emotion. Just  _how_ does he do that?

"Well, I'm sorry your wish didn't come true."

"I didn't mean to offend you."

I sighed, exasperated. I'm so done with him and all this unneeded politeness. "Listen, kid. If you want to say something, either really mean or really nice, then just  _say_ it. All this  _hand-clenching_ and _trembling_  is driving me insane, like you want me to know that all those  _finger language_  is actually our secret code."

"I... I didn't mean to offend you."

I glared at him. "Yes, I heard you the first time. Just talk, okay?"

_"Why did you run away?"_

I was taken aback. I swerved so fast to look at him like he's never had apples before. That question threw me off, I forgot to breathe. I inhaled, mulling over what to answer. Should I be honest that I really don't want to meet him or should I just tell him that I'm allergic to kids and I'd get cooties from them because Mom said so? Although that would be totally unbelievable.

"Well, Mom told me to never hang out with Uchihas." I answered instead.

"You're lying."

I jumped out from the bed I rested at to come face to face with him. I put my hands on my hips and glared at him even more. "I don't lie, kid!"

"I don't even need a Sharingan to see through all that. If it was the truth, you would never allow Shisui to be friends with you." He whispered, lowering his head so his bangs cover his eyes. What's with all this emo look going on? And hello, I can still hear him. Go eat your stupid Sharingan. Lie or not, that's all the answer he's getting from me.

"You're afraid of me." He concluded, raising his head up to meet my eyes. "Why?"

This kid has so many questions. A prodigy is truly a curious creature. I stared back bravely, even though my knees are shaking badly. Gosh, why is this kid so  _intimidating_? He's supposed to be a child. A child shouldn't look at another child with those eyes.

"I'm not afraid of you." I firmly responded.

"Lies." He shook his head, disappointed.

I chose to ignore him then, thinking this conversation wouldn't even make sense. Also, I have other things to worry about, like how I forgot what Itachi's father said before I passed out. Something about the letter 'O' whatever.

 _O... Onigiri?_ But why would he seek out food from me?

 _Odor?_ Did he say I  _smell_? Well, that's rude.

 _Orange?_ How the fuck is that even related to Shisui almost choking me to death?

"Hey, kid." I decided to call out to Itachi, thinking he could answer me. "Do you remember what your father said before I passed out?"

He shook his head. "No."

But it was so obvious he was lying. I only frowned. "You're lying."

The corners of his lips twitched a bit, either to laugh at me or smirk. "I guess we're even now, Ketsueki-san."

Oh, you  _smart_ kid. You just got yourself invited to my hitlist. I smiled, losing all humor. "Cut the crap, kid. Tell me."

"It is not my place."

Suddenly, the door to the room burst open and I almost jumped back in bed to sleep and instead, pretend I'm comatosed. The new person in the room regarded us with a nod and Itachi chose to greet his father. "Tou-san."

Now  _that_  is  _power_.

Fugaku Uchiha's presence alone could make anyone tremble. No wonder his son didn't dare go against him, except maybe seven years in the future when his son surpassed him. The aura this person holds is  _pride_. He carries honor like his everyday perfume and I can smell it from him. Coldness radiates from him and suffocates the entire room, somehow it's getting harder to breathe again. I can only close my eyes, trying to calm my insides. Itachi stood there, as I opened one eye to peek a bit, standing so stiffly like a board. That's right, kid. Be on your best behavior.

"Itachi." Fugaku's deep voice sent shivers down my spine even when he's not talking to me.

"Yes, 'Tou-san." Itachi walked gracefully to the door, leaving me behind before this man. Before that, he turned to me, blinking. "Ketsueki-san, see you tomorrow."

Tomorrow? You wish! I'm not seeing anyone ever after everything that happened to me today. Dammit, Auntie Kanari must be suffering long and hard by now because Mom would think she lost me. Eh, who gives a damn. Let her suffer.

Suddenly, my name was called and I backed away, lowering my head. Let's hope he doesn't turn me into Onigiri.

"Raise your head, child," Fugaku's commanding tone made me obey immediately. "I am Uchiha Fugaku, current clan head of the Uchiha Clan."

I nodded. "Understood."

I don't really know how to respond to that without getting killed. I mean, it's not like I asked who he is or something. If this was a casual conversation with my bullies at school, I'd probably say 'fuck off'. In this situation, if I say that, I'd get my head chopped off. I guess it was the right answer for he only nodded, motioning for me to sit down. He rubbed his temples then, tiredly walking to a nearby chair in the room before sitting down and facing me.

I blinked, "Uchiha-sama–"

"We have things to talk about."

Oh, god. Now the Uchiha Clan Head wants to talk to me? What did I do now? I'm only six, what did I ever do to have everything I want to avoid come after me?

_Fate, you must be laughing at me._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am truly sorry for all the grammatical errors.


	20. These Damn Uchihas

_All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make, the better."_

_\- Ralph Waldo Emerson_

* * *

My eyes widened, croaking out to ask why on earth the Uchiha Clan Head came out of nowhere to talk about some 'things' to a  _civilian_ kid like me. What's wrong now? Did Shisui tell him to destroy me because I pose as a future threat in the village even if I was just simply training to defend myself? Somehow, I was too lax with Shisui around that I didn't realize the consequences of him spreading it out would be too grave that the Clan Head would come around. Dammit Sayuri, you knew that Shisui was suspicious yet you chose not to dwell on it.

I thought it would pass!

"Do not fear, I merely want to talk to you." His voice softened, but his tone still demanded no objections.

I only nodded, not saying a word. I still don't know how to respond to people if they tell you not to be afraid of them even though it's too impossible. For me it's even harder. Both Itachi and Shisui is of young age and I am in their age group yet I fear them a lot. How much more if I face the people that raised them?

"My son is wary of you, I've noticed."

Wow, thanks for the info. I seriously did  _not_ need that clarification. Shisui probably poisoned the poor boy's mind into thinking that I'm some kind of evil witch that would destroy their entire land. Besides, I think the kid has every right to be wary. I didn't exactly give him the greatest impression by running away.

His face soured in a strangely displeased expression and I watched in amusement as his eyebrows pulled to meet in the middle of his forehead. "He mentioned that you were the girl that he saw during the attack a year ago. He felt guilt that time. Last month, when he saw you walk in the clan compound, according to some reports, he was stupefied. He was very shocked and quite relieved that a girl like you, with no ninja training at all, could survive. Still, it felt good that you didn't think of actually dying to make my son think he killed someone, thus providing mental problems for him in the future. I appreciate your endurance on the situation even though it was a heavy attack."

Aside from the shocking revelation that Uchiha Fugaku can actually talk in full, long sentences, I was dumbfounded. Itachi is actually suffering from a trauma because of the stunt I pulled a year ago, running away from him when he was only trying to save me. I can understand. The thought that you couldn't even save a life would leave you insane with guilt. Itachi is still a kid after all and exposing him to a hero-victim-saving situation would influence him greatly. If I ran away at the sight of him, then he must have thought I died and that it was his fault. He's kind.  _For now_.

Oh, and seeing me run from him again most likely triggered a negative response.

"However," I looked up at Fugaku, noticing that his dark obsidian eyes stared at me in scrutiny. He's probably going to watch my reactions now for the next thing he's going to say. ", the question on how you managed to survive still remains."

Wow.

These people are paranoid idiots. So, I can't survive now? Should I just go back in time and die? Who even thought of asking such questions? I mean, I understand I'm a kid and I have zero skills that time, but give me some credit. I'm a reincarnated woman that believes in precautions. We've done earthquake and fire drills before. Also, if this fact is either raised or not to prove Fugaku that I am capable of handling myself, there is still one factor that would consider the survival rate of a little kid running around alone without ninja powers:

 _Luck_.

So how the hell could a Clan Head fuss about this stuff?

"Uchiha-sama, I too can't answer that question." I replied, gritting my teeth in annoyance. "I don't know how I managed to get out alive."

The movement of my jaw unfortunately did not come unnoticed. He sent me a sharp look and I almost flipped away. "Ketsueki-san, I did not mean to offend you. I was merely giving my observations."

Yes, that's what your son told me too. Like father, like son. I wasn't even offended, I just think they're a bunch of stupid people. Well, it is kind of obvious already, considering the fact that almost all of the shinobi population would just yell the jutsu they're doing to an enemy. Who in their right mind would advise that?

Though another part of me feels that Uchiha Fugaku definitely did not become Clan Head just for this nonsense. I have a feeling that he thinks the suspicion is stupid too. Why would he mind a girl that ran away from his son and survived through the attack even though she's young and all alone during the destruction? So what? It's not a big deal. Any kid can do it.

I boldly looked him in the eye and puffed out my chess, hopefully it would make me feel less scared with his presence around. "Then, Uchiha-sama, I too do not mean to offend you when I say that you must get to the point of this conversation immediately."

"Do not be impatient, child." He shook his head, voice hard. "We will get there slowly."

"Uchiha-sama, I don't need the calm before the storm." I was beginning to feel hell of irritated with this setup. "Please, my aunt is possibly looking for me and I don't want to stay here any longer."

Even though I don't know where 'here' is, I hardly care. I just want it all to be over.

"You are indeed rude no matter how much you try to sound polite." He suddenly sounded amused and offended at the same time. "Do not speak so boldly, child. A tongue as sharp as a sword can never save anyone's life. Not without a shield."

"Honesty is the best policy," I retorted.

"That's not honesty, that's insensitivity."

I shut up.

Clearing his throat, he soon got back to the matter at hand. "Since you want only the point and not the details, I will not hold you here any longer. My son, Itachi, and possibly Shisui, would be guiding you throughout your next training. Your aunt and the rest of your family already agreed to this arrangement. I will see to it that you will develop."

I snorted. "You're kidding, right?"

He didn't reply and I was beginning to feel anxious. It's not true, right? Why would the  _Uchiha Clan_  suddenly oversee my training, involving themselves to an ordinary civilian like me? Isn't that just weird? Hell, no clan should be that kind to take in a civilian kid. Most especially the Uchiha. Even if I was super special then why'd the Uchiha be the first one to grant training? Why would my family agree? Gramps  _hates_  Uchihas. Why the fuck would the  _Uchihas_ be involved with me?

It's too impossible. It can't be right. The fact that I'm facing the clan's leader is terrifying enough to know. It's also quite disturbing, actually. How much more if they just dropped Itachi and Shisui out of the blue to help me in my training? Without any acceptable reason?

"This is a joke, right? Did Auntie Kanari decide to prank me?" I laughed awkwardly, knowing full well that my aunt would never indulge in such things, though I hope she dropped her head once and went insane enough to do silly stuff.

Fugaku still remained silent and I can't help but to glare at him, even though he pretended not to see. "Uchiha-sama, please confirm my assumptions."

"It is up to you to believe or not. So, excuse me, for I too have important matters to attend to." Then he stood up and I was panicking. He couldn't just leave like that without giving me an explanation to all this ridiculous bullshit!

Standing up, I attempted to run to the door and block his way. The second he realized my intentions, he suddenly activated his bloodline limit that it left a dangerous impression and I instantly froze halfway to the door.

"You're at a disadvantage here, child. In front of me, do not even try to be so daring and block my way again." His voice was low, but it sliced threateningly through the air that it made the hairs on my arms stand up. "Acting impetuously, such boldness indeed. Someone could  _kill_ you the instant you decide to move against them. You are lucky that I'm the one you're carelessly blocking. Otherwise,  _blood will spill_."

He scrutinized my form as I clenched my fists and bit my lip to stop myself from trembling because of the sight of his Sharingan or the fact that he leaked out a bit of killing intent. I never really got used to  _killing intent_.

This situation is just so unfair.

He walked towards the door gracefully, blankness gracing his features.

"If you are confused then that is not my problem. You wished to go to the point without the details. I merely gave you what you wanted."

Then he left the room.

* * *

"DON'T YOU DARE TRY AND FOLLOW ME, UCHIHA SHISUI, OR I WILL CASTRATE YOU!"

Said boy suddenly covered his most sensitive part, backing away from me. "'Yuu-chan, don't speak so vulgarly about me. Even though I'm very happy that you  _finally_ called me by first name, I couldn't just allow you to do such horrible things to me!"

"Shisui, I swear to your dead father's grave..." I whispered lowly, not caring if he heard it or not and if he even took offense, already forming a lot of scenarios in which I get to break both his arms and legs. I am still mad at him. The only reason I'm calling him 'Shisui' is because I lost my tolerance to all his bullshit. His name is now officially a swear word.

"Don't be so mean, we were ordered to take you home!" Shisui whined.

"I don't care about your orders, you waterboy! Leave me alone or I will destroy you and whatever you're covering right now!" He pulled back his hands immediately as I threatened him.

"Shisui, you really angered Yuu-san to the point that she wishes to cut your genitals off." Itachi looked up to his cousin in astonishment, though a glint of mischief is shown in his wide eyes. Shisui winked at him. They're making fun of me. Oh, the guts of these two.

I marched angrily in front of the kid who has the same height as me. "Listen, kid. It's  _Sayuri_  and not  _Yuu_. Don't try and piss me off any further. If you do, you'd perish under my hand too. I don't care who you are!"

He looked offended, frowning at me. "Yuu-san, that's offensive. I am from the Uchiha–"

But I cut him off swiftly before resuming to walk fast ahead of them. "And I still don't fucking care."

Then his face went blank again, clenching his fists tightly as it trembled slightly. Shisui looked at the younger Uchiha in genuine concern. "Itachi, is everything alright?"

"I'm fine, Shisui. Please continue walking."

Shisui just smiled. "If you say so! But if this is about 'Yuu-chan, don't worry about it. She's just naturally rude. Don't take whatever she says or do to heart. You'd get used to it eventually."

Itachi just maintained his blank expression, but it feels like he wanted to glare at something. "Okay."

I must have gone too far in damaging his pride. Not caring about Uchihas? Check. Cutting the Uchiha off? Check. Forgive me for my insolence, but this day is officially crowned  _hell day_ and it's all because of all of them. I don't even feel like going home yet. I need time to cool-off and not yell at my family for even agreeing with this thing they set me up with. If I don't, they'd question my anger towards them and I'd blurt out that I was reincarnated and didn't want to have anything to do with a bunch of Uchihas because of a certain anime. That would lead to a lot of cons. I still need time to take in everything about it.

A familiar figure suddenly came into view and I ran towards it immediately to seek shelter from two kids I want to get rid of, greeting him enthusiastically with a smile. "Kibo!"

Startled, Kibo jumped back away from me. "Sayuri, you almost gave me a heart attack! And seeing you smiling at me like you're very happy to see me is very  _creepy_. Please stop. It's even worse than seeing Orochimaru-sama."

"But I can't help it, I'm just so happy to see you! Aren't you also glad that I'm here?" I opened my arms wide in an attempt to give him a hug but he pushed me away.

"Get away from me, you little devil." He wrinkled his nose in fake disgust and I glared at him.

"You know, it's an honor to be hugged by a girl. Not all boys can get a hug from a girl. Be grateful I offered and take it like a man!"

He snorted. "Sure, but to be hugged by a girl like you would be a total disgrace. For the moment, I am grateful I am just a boy and not a man. There is nothing to take yet."

"Hey!"

I was about to tackle the kid to the ground but someone cleared their throat from behind me. I looked back and rolled my eyes at Itachi and Shisui who managed to catch up with me. Why wouldn't they? They're freakin' ninjas.

Kibo stared at Itachi. Itachi stared back.

Kibo averted his gaze towards me after a few seconds. "Oddly enough, I've never met a girl like you so rude but can still effortlessly make new friends. Tell me how you do it, Sayuri."

I snorted. "That's my skill that you can never ever take away from me. Are you impressed? Do you look up to me now? Do you want to be like me? Am I you're master? Am I pretty?"

Kibo just grunted. "Those last three sentences would tarnish my good reputation just by saying yes."

"Kibo-san, it's nice to meet you again! Have you met my cousin?" Shisui interacted with him too, excitement in his eyes.

Ignoring me, Kibo grinned. "I'm afraid not, Shisui-san. But I've heard about him from my cousin." Itachi's and Kibo's eyes met. "Uchiha Itachi, right?"

Itachi only nodded.

Regardless, Kibo continued to talk to him. "My cousin is your teammate! You remember Shinko, right?"

Itachi nodded again.

But I was left dumbfounded.

_Shinko is Itachi's teammate?!_

Goddammit. That's why the name sounds very familiar when she first introduced herself. Now the memories about her in the show flooded in my mind. My head is aching because of all these revelations.

Izumi wasn't the first canon character that I encountered after all.

 _Shinko is_.

What an excellent plot twist, fate. I applaud you very much.

* * *

"Remind me why we ended up here again?" I eyed all of them in distaste. "No matter what I do, we always come back to the dango shop."

"Of course, 'Yuu-chan. This is where we built our friendship." Shisui winked at me playfully.

"There was no friendship in the first to place to have been built. Please continue eating until you choke yourself to death, Shisui." I deadpanned. He ate the dango on his plate anyway, still smiling as if I gave him a compliment. He even thanked me. What a crazy kid. We can only hope he does exactly what I said.

"Your concern for me is touching, 'Yuu-chan." And so he smiled and smiled until he died.

No, just kidding.

"So, your on first name basis with him now?" Kibo asked, genuinely confused. "At first when you did the honorifics, I thought you were doing it out of respect since Shisui-san is an honorable shinobi after all, but then I clearly remember how you refused to even say his name in a tone so grave like it'd give you dishonor. What changed?"

I shrugged. "What changed is that his name became a curse that I'd cast to its owner."

"Mean!" I ignored Shisui and Kibo.

When I noticed Itachi staring I raised an eyebrow at him. "What are you staring at, kid?"

He averted his gaze, looking down on his dango instead. "You are very unlikeable, Yuu-san."

While I got offended, Kibo could not hide his surprise for who knows what. "What's this? Itachi-san has a nickname for Sayuri? And Sayuri, did you hear that? Someone actually dared to tell you the truth!"

I pushed him off his chair. "Shut up! He only calls me that because Shisui is so good at manipulating the kid's mind that he'd trick him into thinking that it's my name. I told him that it isn't but it looks like he couldn't even trust me with my own name. And I'm not unlikeable. They just couldn't handle my fabulousness."

"But fabulousness doesn't have anything to do with rudeness," Shisui argued. "And I don't manipulate my own cousin's mind!"

Yeah, but seven years later you'd trigger how he succeeded killing his entire clan in one night.

Kibo, now getting up to sit back on his seat also turned to me. "True. Also, why do you keep calling Itachi-san 'kid'? You're not possibly older than him."

By then Itachi gave Kibo a sharp look and I don't know why. He suddenly became wary, but didn't speak. I ignored the paranoid kid instead. Ninjas do those  _suspicious eyes_  actively. If they suspect me then they suspect everyone around me. Good grace.

"Maybe I'm not older than him physically, but my mind is older therefore I have every right to degrade him as a kid." I crossed my arms, nodding to myself and my own genius. I'm such an honest woman.

"I've long given up on understanding how your mind works." Kibo sighed.

"Me too." I replied.

* * *

The next day, I went to school early and I was expecting to see Kibo because he's always early and I would always catch him sleeping on his desk. Shinrin wouldn't be around yet and I purposely made sure I don't come in with her earlier than me. It's a daily activity so I doubt anything could change the habit.

But Kibo wasn't there.

It was odd. At first, I thought that maybe he's late for once and wouldn't that be amazing. I could find a reason to tease the poor kid. But I heard the conversation of a group of girls forming a circle, as per usual, and I heard them mention a name.

Kibo's name.

I approached one person who I was well acquainted with even though I don't know her name. She's the nicest girl in the group so I doubt she'd ignore me. "Excuse me, have you seen Kibo? Did he come already?"

She shook her head. "No, I'm sorry he hasn't. But they say he dropped school. Nobody knows if it's true or not."

"Oh." I turned away dumbfounded.

_Dropped school_ _?_


	21. Changes

_"Draw me not without reason, sheath me not without honor."_

_-f.t.i._

* * *

"The Uchihas?!"

Kanari stared back at the Hokage,  _shocked._ Why would the Uchihas involve themselves?

The old man sitting on his usual chair smiled, but not the usual friendly smile. It was one mixed with amusement and disbelief. Kanari didn't know what to make of it.

"Kanari," The Hokage shook his head slowly, "You have a very devious family to actually dare and hide this all from me. I have known for quite a long time now and it's amazing that you only decide to tell me now. This matter is not limited to us now. We need the help, especially if the others are getting suspicious."

"But Hokage-sama!" Her voice shook with confusion, lost to what he revealed. "I really don't know why they're..."

* * *

"Go away."

He pulled my hair and I hissed at him. He only pouted more. "Come on 'Yuu-chan. Your aunt is unavailable right now and Fugaku-sama would probably kick my butt if you don't cooperate."

I crossed my arms, sitting on the ground unmoving while a curly-haired Uchiha bugged me on and on about how he's going to start my training today. The other Uchiha is also here, up in a tree, just quietly observing the both of us. He's also throwing rude comments at me, but he sounds so polite which is why I'm very suspicious if he's doing it on purpose or he's just really honest. Either way, I want to throw him to the wolves someday. And he's a lot like Sai but without the creepy smile. Itachi's face would probably rot itself because of the straight face he's always keeping up.

Well, the kid doesn't trust me so what's the reason for him to show his real self?

Also, I don't care. I have tons of things to worry about, like the fact that Auntie Kanari isn't here. I even have to think about the real reason why the Uchihas are helping me out or something. It doesn't seem right to think they're just hospitable. It wouldn't make sense too if they're setting me on a trap to destroy me. Why would they be the ones to demolish me? There are tons out there that could kill me with just one pinch. Then again, they provide training for me now so I doubt they're out for my blood. Then there's that thing about Kibo. Root? Orochimaru? Who knows.

God, I don't think training could help me.

Or maybe it could.

"'Yuu-chan, I'd give you a hundred ryo if you agree."

I immediately spun around to meet Shisui's eyes, discerning if he's telling the truth. "Are you for real?"

He smirked. "As real as I can be."

I snorted. "You little scam." In my past life you're just fiction rubbish. You're only real because I'm in your world. Stupid ninja.

"Hey, I'm really telling the truth here, 'Yuu-chan! I'd even treat you for dango." He pouted. "Don't you want to have a hundred ryo and some dango? It's a good deal, you know."

I stood up, leveling my gaze with his. "Shisui, you unfortunate toad, is the one hundred ryo from the salary of your ninja duties?"

He nodded excitedly. "Yes!"

"How much do you get each day?"

"Huh?" He scrunched his nose in thought, then he smiled mischievously. "I don't know. It really depends on what rank I'll be assigned to. The higher the rank, the better. Recently I got sent to help on a B-rank so my pocket's full. I don't know though, I still have to report to my clan for the money I've earned. It's fine, it's enough to bribe you anyway."

How ignorant. How ignorant indeed! To tell this little girl, whose eyes shine when seeing gold, about the money he's getting from his missions. Even Itachi won't give out details of the money he's earned from his own responsibilities yet this cousin of his is brave enough to make dollar signs appear on my eyes.

I smiled at him sweetly. "Shisui, do you still want to train me?"

"Why do you think I'm still here?"

Itachi finally slid down the tree to walk over to us. "Shisui, we should leave. If 'Yuu-san does not want to train then we won't force it anymore."

Oh no, not so fast, kid.

"Then give me a thousand ryo!" I smirked. "You don't want  _Fugaku-sama_ , that Severus Snape attitude-a-like, to punish you because you abandoned your duties with me, right?"

His jaw hung open as Itachi whispered about what ' _Seburusu Suneipu'_ means, confusion in his face. I only smiled at them innocently. "Well, you wanted to complete training with me, right?"

"But a thousand ryo is too much!" He threw his hands in the air, baffled. "You can't be serious 'Yuu-chan. You don't have the heart to starve me to death."

"Actually I do." My grin grew bigger as his frown got deeper.

"One-fifty!"

"Eight hundred!"

"Two!"

"Seven!"

"Two!"

"Two hundred!"

"Seven hundred—Wait, WHAT?!"

I laughed, rejoicing in my win. "Yes! Yes! Seven hundred ryo indeed!"

"You tricked me!" He pointed at me accusingly. "That's not fair!"

I stuck my tongue out at him. "Nothing is fair in this world. Also, you said it with your own mouth, no going back now. It's hardly tricking if you didn't think twice about what you're going to say. Loser!"

He glared at me. "Seven hundred ryo is too much!"

I looked at him in disbelief. "Really? You earn a lot in your shinobi life, that's something I know. I highly doubt seven hundred ryo is of high value to you Uchihas."

Itachi's lips pressed into a thin line before backing away from his cousin. "Shisui, you took this upon yourself. Now you're getting swindled by a civilian."

Shisui only looked at him hopefully. "Itachi..." His cousin immediately turned his back on him saying 'no' before deciding to scurry off away from the curly-haired brat.

"But I don't have money right now, Itachi! Your father is going to kill me if I can't make progress today! Please help your cousin! Do you really want your father to touch even an inch of my beautiful hair?!" He wailed, eyes tearing up dramatically and I only scoffed. What a bunch of ridiculous idiots. I did not know Shisui could put up an act like a pro that it'd make you cringe.

Itachi continued walking away, never turning back. "Let him."

"Then it's settled then!" I approached Shisui while he looked at me like something he wants to get away from. "Let's start the day!"

Let's just see if this won't make you go away.

* * *

So, we spent at least five hours to get myself started with  _chakra_. Shisui mentioned that my chakra system works differently. He said I only have below average of it but when I started to exercise it, meaning trying to beat up my own body by practicing tree walking and water walking after my leaf exercise, it started to grow bit by bit, though it's still not enough for me to use techniques. Hell, I don't even know my chakra nature. Itachi mentioned that he finds my chakra system weird, but I just told him that he's just jealous. He stared back unimpressed. Then both of them wanted to interrogate me about it but, hell if I know. It's just something strange in my body, it's not suspicious. Stupid, really.

Aside from all that, I've managed to earn seven hundred ryo, with the help of some of Itachi's shinobi pays, of course, since Shisui can't pay it alone. I really thought they were going to back off and leave me alone when I gave them a hard time, what with dozing around and attempting not to do the exercises correctly, constantly yelling at them to give me a break, nagging them to hurry the shit up. It must have irritated Itachi somehow, since he was the first to leave, and I thought it was a success. I only ever finished with Shisui because he threatened to spit fire at me and burn me alive or something. Naturally, I finished up properly. So much for acting like a brat.

It went on like that for the next couple of weeks until I fully managed to tree walk and kind of walk on water like some fucking miracle child of the gods, though I can hold it long enough until my chakra starts depleting slowly. The clan heir suggested that if I practice daily, and put effort in it, I would improve that field. So, I did.

The seven hundred ryo disappeared after ten days since I was always hungry because of training and I wasted it pretty much on food. Though I managed to save up some to get my family, even Auntie Kanari, their birthday presents with only that amount of money. I didn't confess where I swindled the money from. They can't know that I've leeched it off of an Uchiha.

Speaking of Uchihas, I managed to ask my family calmly about them. Calm enough that they think I'm just curious about it and not acting like a bitch about it like the first time I heard that I was getting trained like a ninja, though I never really want to pursue that path. It would cause a bit of confusion if I reacted negatively toward it, since I showed no negative feelings for the Uchiha and I did not want to dig in to why I was having problems with it. I don't know the issues about the Uchiha that makes people fear them so showing fear would make no sense. I do still have some form of sanity left in me. Gramps said that he hates them but they told me they could help somehow, especially with some areas that they could be good at Auntie Kanari can't explore with me. They said nothing more other than that. That made sense.

Anyway, I'm months away from turning eight and I admit I covered a lot within my time of training. Me and Izumi sort of got along somehow, even if it's a slow pace and since Shisui has been training me somehow, even if it's only the basics, I admit I developed some form of  _respect_  for him. We all spent our extra time with dango and even Itachi would tag along if he's not busy getting pummeled by his dad with training. I know the kid and I have some sort of friendship going on, no matter if I annoy him, though his face never shows that. I know we got along somehow at one point because he sort of opened up even just a bit, trying to make small conversation, asking how was my day.

But I know they still don't trust me and I'm fine with it. I don't really find that much comfort in them too, knowing their doom and all that shit. Over time, probably, we'd get over those walls but not right now. Somehow, I don't see it happening but I've learned something over the course of a year and that is getting over myself and all my paranoia. The future is still too far out of my reach and I doubt I could do anything about it when I'm still a weak little girl. I met with one Inuzuka Hana somehow. She almost strangled me because of the way I see the road ahead of me, telling me to  _'go get a life, you weirdo'._

Pretty offensive, but I accepted her point. In return, I smacked her upside the head, telling her to  _'shut the fuck up and be civil_ ' which turned out to be no good since the  _ninken_ , which she now possesses, almost dug their canines into my head if Hana's mother wasn't there. She reprimanded me about how I treat an Inuzuka when their ninken is around. I heeded the advice.

Though the interactions I had was very amusing indeed, I still miss the presence of Kibo. I haven't heard of him since the news that he dropped out. I met with Shinko once, after she got home from her mission, saying he's been very tired lately and just did not have enough energy to come to school anymore. I doubted it. I asked her if he's sick, she said he's not but he's been a bit on edge lately. I knew she was lying so I asked her, not really thinking, if he's part of some kind of secret organization but I did not tell her I meant ROOT. She looked at me strangely, saying Kibo would not get himself tied up with that crap. She didn't question further.

It was tough handling me, even I know that. Getting reborn into a strange new world that you know somehow could get your attitude to rot. I wasn't stupid enough to know what I was acting like. Perhaps, I should be nicer, but that could get weird in so many ways. Even so, Kibo was my  _closest_ friend, understanding me in my craziest moments and rudest moments, so it's  _very_ worrying that he just disappeared like that when we were so happy. Sometimes I feel like he was wearing a mask, I've seen it fall of even just by a second. I didn't want to remind him what's under that mask. Maybe it was not a good idea to not confront him about it. It was probably my fault.

Also, I have to deal with Shinrin's stupid attitude that would make hurricanes when combined with mine. I endured it anyway since I was the mentally 'mature' one.

"What are you thinking?" The clan heir's voice sneaked beside me, face still void of any emotion. I turned to him, eyes filled with mirth. Seeing this, he frowned.

"Aren't you curious?" I snorted. "What about you? What are you thinking?"

He blinked. "You're lonely."

Yes, of course, but not the point, kid.

Grimacing, I grabbed a nearby stone and threw it to the river, skipping as it did so. "What I feel is not something a kid should decide. You should mind your brother more or the village, like you always do."

Eyes dulling as I called him a 'kid' and the mention of his brother, he looked away. "That's none of your business either."

"See? We're pretty even then."

Mind you, it took a year and a half for people to 'reveal' to me that he had a brother. Not really, his brother maybe dashed forward excitedly to grab him into a toddler's hug, jumping up and down, screaming in his high-pitch voice 'Nii-san' while showing off to him that he learned how to write his name. It took me a second to figure out that the boy is Sasuke. I didn't care much then since he kind of insulted me indirectly, asking his  _nii-san_ why he was with an  _ugly_ girl. Brat probably wanted me to punch his face in, though Itachi would not like that very  _very_ much. I was  _soooo_ patient with the kid the whole time, fingers crossed so that I won't be tempted to strangle him.

"You know, sometimes..." I began, speaking to Itachi but more to myself. "... I feel like you guys should take a break with all this madness. War isn't always coming, you know. Maybe you should give it a rest with all the heroic attitude."

It was silent for a moment before he turned his back from me, leaving me alone. Perhaps he didn't want to talk about it to me.

"You are right. War isn't always coming but that doesn't mean it stopped either."

Then he disappeared.


	22. There Wasn't Much To Whine

_"A true hero is not measured by the size of his strength, but by the strength of his heart."_

_\- Hercules_

* * *

"Yuri-chan!" The woman clad in her Jounin attire searched the field for a brunette little girl that is currently up on a tree. Too bad she didn't know I could tree walk already, resulting to her turning a blind eye to the area directly above her. "Where did that kid go? Leave her with Uchihas and now she knows how to disappear – "

I cut her off by throwing a kunai downwards, the tip of the weapon plunging just an inch away from her right foot. Crossing my arms, I kept my smug look even though that  _pretending-to-be-cool_ part was purely luck. I did not calculate if the weapon would hurt her or not. Anyways, I still look cool from up here so it's totally fine. Auntie Kanari would be able to dodge it anyway. Ninja skills, you know.

Eyes widening, she finally looked up, frowning at me as she did so. "Get down, 'Yuri-chan. How did you even get up the – "

"I tree-walked."

For a moment she stood in silence, then one corner of her lips quirked up, clearly amused. "Oh? So you managed to learn a few things while I was gone, huh? What about…"

I stared at her, confused. She bent down to grab a hold of the kunai I attacked the ground earlier, pulling it out of the earth and just staring at it while nodding simultaneously. It's as if she's coming to the conclusion of things. I could only look at her impatiently, wondering what the hell is she even doing. I had little time to contemplate about that since a sharp and shiny object started to zoom towards my direction. Eyes widening, I flipped off of the tree, landing beside my aunt instead, just in time to avoid it penetrating into my right eye.

_What the hell?_

I scowled at the person responsible for that sudden attack. "What the hell was that for?!"

Still nodding, she turned to face me. "Impressive. Your flexibility and reflexes improved. Your reaction time could probably get some work, but all in all you improved greatly compared to your weak dodging back then. I can't believe I'm saying this to a brat like you, but you improved. Although, the kunai you used was blunt a while ago, you managed to make it dig through the earth. You used a bit of your chakra for that, I suppose, but may I remind you, young lady, to always be sure where you're trying to hit. That one was obviously not planned out. You just wanted to show-off and that's unimpressive. Regardless, nice work!"

I looked at her weirdly, the scowl finally smoothing off of my face. "Really? You have to almost blind me just for that? You could have just told me that we're going to have an assessment and I'll show you what I've got."

She grinned. "Assessments are better done unplanned."

"Yeah, and so is my death." Giving up, I sighed. "Anyway, why are you here and not Itachi and Shisui? I expected them idiots to burn me alive. They should get done with my training already, down with the jutsu and all. And I met up with that devil spawn  _Hyūga_ last week and he immediately said my chakra system improved. What does that even mean?"

Auntie Kanari couldn't hide her surprise. "Hyūga? You're friends with a Byakugan user?"

"If you could even call us friends, that is."

She raised her eyebrow. "So, this kid, huh? You met him in one of your school activities, I suppose?"

I nodded in response. It's not much of a surprise that she knows all about the mumbo jumbo going on about my civilian life, especially the politics behind education and all that. I turned to her, attempting to change the subject. "Anyway, are you here for me?"

She winked, eyes shining with humor. "Well, of course. Your boyfriends can't support you right now since they're busy so it's just me you're getting for now. Don't worry, I told them to hurry it up or their little cutie 'Yuri-chan would get upset for missing them too much. Pretty convenient aunt I am, right?"

She dodged the kunai I threw at her. Unimpressed, I stated dryly. "Must be nice making me sound like a pedophile."

She threw her head back in laughter. " _Pedophile?_  You're the same age as Itachi, 'Yuri-chan, stop sounding like an adult. You always do that."

I rolled my eyes. "Because I'm the mentally mature one, I would choose to ignore you instead. Now, how about we get started at what you really came here for. Stop this nonsense already."

She stopped laughing, finally, looking at me as if I swallowed her dead fish. "I can't believe you're actually eager now.  _Who are you?_ "

I shot her a bored look. "The only reason I'm doing this is because I'm eager to stay the fuck alive. So we better hurry up, Auntie, and get on with helping me survive."

Not really surprised anymore that I am a seven-year old freely cursing in front of her, she smirked. She walked to the center of the field, the earth beneath her crushing with each step she took, back turned to me the whole time as she did so. When she finally turned to face me, her hands are twisted to form a  _horse_ seal. I probably don't know how to use seals yet but heck I recognize those. I didn't spend my time in the library for nothing. Judging by the state of the ground in which she walked on, she's going to make an  _Earth release_. And I'm here standing, dumbfounded, wondering if she's trying to kill me or teach me hand seals.

"Use every bit of what you learned from those Uchiha brats, 'Yuri-chan. The real assessment begins now."

...

_What?_

"What are you talking about?" I yelled, clearly baffled by it all. "Real assessment? If this is an assessment then why are you using seals?! That's really unfair!"

She didn't answer the question, only staring at me with amusement, as if she's enjoying my confusion. "Quit the chit chat, 'Yuri-chan. Get yourself ready."

_What?_

But I couldn't argue more once her hands began to move into different hand seals, twisting and turning, until it stopped in the snake hand seal, and only a huge head of a hideous beast, molded in the shape of a dragon made out of the soil and rocks, came dashing towards my direction speedily as I urged myself to move. Aside from that struggle, the words I could only think about is two:

_Oh, shit._

* * *

I lay on the ground, desperately trying to find my proper breathing while clutching my body that is battered up with bruises and minor wounds. Although the ninjutsu startled me, thankfully it was not strong enough to kill me. But that still didn't help the fact that my body hurts like a  _bitch._ And I am very  _furious_ at the person that caused all of the pain I am feeling right now. Sitting up slowly as I heard said person's slow footsteps, I glowered at her with utmost intensity. Because  _what the fuck_ , right? And the evil woman could only chuckle at my demise.

Basically, what happened, was that she fucking used ninjutsu for my assessment, expecting me to counter her attack successfully with only taijutsu, some shuriken and kunai shit, and the sensing enhancements I've learned that requires chakra. I could only do so little of successfully maiming some kunai at some of her techniques without getting killed in the process, what with the majority of my chakra channelled through the soles of my feet to enhance my speed. I even used a  _Clone Technique_ _—_ since that was a technique that Shisui insisted I learn and so I did, although it took a month since I'm not that good, am I?  _—_ for deceiving purposes but that was not good enough either.

In the end, I have come to the realization that I should be declared winner in this assessment because she used ninjutsu when I can only do so little to match with it.

Still scowling, I met her laughter-filled eyes. "You think killing your niece is amusing? How about we switch roles and then you can laugh as much as you want once I figure out a technique that could make the earth shove itself up your a–"

Grabbing my ear, I yelped in pain. She twisted it, earning a full battle scream from me and she didn't even seem to care. What the hell. "Ah, 'Yuri-chan, the devil brat as always, threatening her very own aunt. I can't pretend I don't miss you now, can I? Alas, after I lecture you today, we're going to have a serious talk about your attitude. That's not good for you when you're face to face with the enemies, is it? I admit, you seriously improved somehow, but your personality is rotten as always."

Finally relieving my ear from her agonizing hold, I clutched the reddened area, hissing in pain as I realized her nail dug into my antihelical scapha. "You didn't have to do that!"

"Ah", she sighed in frustration, sounding so sarcastic. "Even if it pains me to see you bleed under my own hands, I shall do my duties as a good mentor for the good of the village."

"Shut up, please." I tried.

"See my point?" She sighed again. "Rotten as always, even if there was a 'please' present."

I ignored her, still bitter about the whole thing. While she did so, she walked nearer to me and she placed a hand on my shoulder, like she always does, and in a blink of an eye,  _pulls_  me roughly to my feet that I let out another scream of pain.  _Great._ Now my own aunt forcibly tries to hurt me. What the hell does she want now? An assessment of my tolerance for pain? Give me a break.

I shove her away from me as I grunted, catching my breath in the process. " _What the hell?"_

She sighed, as if to sound disappointed. "Come on, 'Yuri-chan, don't be such a baby about it. You should be getting used to the pain by now, what with all the months of training instilled in you."

"I'm still a kid!" I retorted, furious now. You can't just pummel me and act like I'm cool with it. No, not in this fucking world, not in this weak ass body. "I deserve an explanation for all this bullshit you just put me through!"

She smirked. "Yes, a kid that constantly yells that she's the mentally mature one. I advise that you suck it up before you use your lousiness in a real fight. You're going to die faster than you can say  _Oww_."

Flinching, I took her point. I shut up at that. What am I even acting like right now? I'm going to die from all this show of weakness. I can't believe I'm agreeing with her on this part of the argument. But I really couldn't see a point anymore past that. I am training my survival skills here so there's really no use in commenting more about treating me nicer. Besides, I've already endured some huge spits of fire from those Uchihas so why the hell am I complaining now? I probably didn't get used to it.  _Couldn't,_ maybe. Or someday would but let's not think about that now. I'm such a goddamn idiot.

The only thing I could do is smooth out my face from my angry look and let out a deep breath. "Fine, fine. You win,  _Kanari-sama,_ just wish you went down a little easier on me since it's my first time battling against ninjutsu. Anyway, what did you actually gain from this stupidity? Hopefully, it's not just a hobby of yours to bully kids to the ground."

She burst out laughing, before finally looking me in the eye, signalling that what she's about to say is serious.

"I told you it's your real assessment. And don't you go complaining on me about first times. You'll meet a lot of first times in this life, shinobi or not, that'll throw you off your easy loop. This is why you need to act fast  _—_ no time to waste thinking about the unfairness of the situation _—_  and come up with the adequate moves to support your strategy. It's time we get real. Why I attacked you with ninjutsu? Simple, really. I just want to remind you to not rely on your chakra so much. It really helps. Also, don't tap too much on the clone technique, it's really advisable to utilize what you got before reaching for your system. You ain't got that much of it, you know."

"So _—"_ I tried to say something but she cut me off with the sharp sound of a zooming kunai rushing towards my direction, cutting through the wind harshly. It dug through the tree just centimeters behind me, the weapon dangerously near my right shoulder. I froze, but I still could not help my mouth, "Are you cra _—"_

Another kunai and that's when I shut up. It's clear to me that she doesn't want me to speak anymore.

She gave me a mockingly chastising look as I glared at her, not appreciating the show of threat very  _very_ much. "No, 'Yuri-chan. You listen to me before you speak because who knows what type of words you're spitting that could get your head ripped off.

And while I continue to sulk because she would not allow me to speak, she smiled mischievously, eyes shining with determination. I just really hate that look in her eye. "I did say we're fixing your attitude. Don't get me wrong, you could continue on being the uppity rude girl you are but  _never_ in front of your enemies or even the upper ranks. So, while I am lecturing you about ninjutsu, I suppose we could polish that mouth of yours, am I right? Nothing much, really. Just cleaning it up a little bit here and there."

And maybe I was wrong to trust her on that  _little bit_ part.

* * *

So, I ended up deciding to screw death and this world and kill myself. After a long and tiring day of just practicing hand seals and redoing a leaf exercise and a clone technique, I think I could use it to my advantage when my aunt's asleep and use it on her instead. After decidedly sleeping off through her coverage of how chakra works and how it's manipulated in our system to whatever-the-hell she's talking about, and dodging lots of sharp and pointy objects while I did so and a never-ending punishment of a series of laps and push-ups and some other physical fitness tests whenever I fail badly whether in character or in chakra academics, I decided to stick a  _shuriken_ in my eye and hope it reaches my brain, shutting my life down in the process.

_Kidding._

Like I would ever do that.

By the time my session with her ended, I pretty much look like a zombie coming back to life to start an apocalypse. I was just  _so_ hungry. The only thing she fed me the whole time was fruit drops. How is that even  _healthy?_ A candy is not going to save my life, excuse me. Did she even watch  _The Grave of the Fireflies_? The kid  _died_ from malnourishment, okay. Obviously, she never saw that one. Only me because I don't belong here. Best not to think about that too much. Though that stuff does not sway us from the fact that I look like  _hell_.

I basically came to train with just some simple shorts on and my favorite white shirt given to me by Mom as my birthday present back when I turned five. Of course, how stupid of me, but that's because I have no proper training clothes. The number of clothes I've damaged is numerous. Now this shirt is fucking  _torn_ at the side half-way and I wanted to cry because Mom's gift does not deserve this kind of torture. I'd probably sew it back home and then make my aunt do laundry, even if I'm years younger than her. It's her fault she ruined it. The soft cottony material was practically covered in dirt, hideously so, by the time my aunt dropped me in the hospital to get some healing for my minor wounds and bruises. One nurse actually inquired why I look like a piece of shit. I almost clawed his eyes out.

Coming out of the hospital, once Auntie Kanari came back with a new set of clothes, I immediately cleaned myself and dressed up, stuffing my dirtied clothes in my small bag.

That's when I met up with Shinko's team: consisting of Shinko herself, Uchiha Itachi, the blank kid, and some guy who looks like he sneered all his life, although that would be unfair of me to judge.

As per usual, everytime I meet up with Shinko, I'd ask how and where the hell Kibo is. It just kept me unnerved that I haven't a single clue of what he's doing right now. Sure, Shinko says he's fine, just having a bit of an emotional dilemma and all that crap about kids with their kid issues, but then I'd be stupid to just give up on that. If I know one thing about Kibo, it's that he's not just some random kid with  _kiddy issues_. We got along for a reason so all that is stupid. Maybe even Itachi thinks so, judging by how he stared at Shinko far too long before looking away. And he met Kibo once! Or twice, if they have a secret coincidental meeting I was not informed of.

"I know you're worried, Sayuri-chan, but trust me on this. Kibo, that idiot, is perfectly fine." Shinko smiled forcibly. "He asked me to tell you to stop pestering him and concentrate on yourself. He's  _okay._ "

I grumbled. "When it comes to Kibo, I really don't know what  _okay_ means. Out of the blue he just disappears and you saying he's having some kind of emotional whatnot when he's so bright everytime I see him, sure he's got tons of expressions on his face, even the negative ones, but I doubt it could reach to that state. Are you sure he's even okay? It's like he's hiding from me. Does he hate me now? I mean, I know I'm a bitch but _—"_

_"Yuu-san."_

" _—_ but I thought we got along just fine. He could of just told me he doesn't like me anymore, you know? He doesn't need to be an asshole about it _—"_

_"YUU-SAN."  
_

" _—_ and come into hiding all of a sudden, even going so far as dropping school. You know, I think I've come to a conclusion. I've had enough of it, tell that motherfucking br _—"_

_" **YUU-SAN!"**_

I stopped myself from ranting anymore as I glared at the boy with the blank face, hiding my surprise that he actually knows how to yell like that. "What?!"

He sighed, but then he retreated back to his professionally practiced stoic face. "You're hyperventilating. Stop that. Not good for you. Not good for your chakra either. I'm sure wherever and whatever Kibo-san's doing that prevents him from seeing you is of good reason. Kibo-san does not look like the type of person to abandon someone."

He's right. I have been worrying too much lately. I should probably trust Shinko more, since she's older Nodding to him, I turn my attention back to Shinko, noticing her tensed look. She must have been shaken by my outburst. I couldn't really blame her, could I? I could give it a rest.  _For now_.

I pulled back slowly from them, releasing a deep breath. "Sorry, Shinko nee-chan. It's just...  _different_  when he's not around. Guess I'm not used to having no partner in crime for a long time. Tell him I said 'Hi'."

She smiled, body relaxing, now gushing over me. But that was only for show. I know. "Of course, Sayuri-chan! How can I deny your  _cute_  majesty?"

I snorted. That's when I took notice again of their other teammate, a step behind them, just scowling and all that shit while looking at me, disgusted. That's also when he decided to speak his mind. "Oh, look. Another smartass brat. How many of these kids speaking like they're smarter than you are born each year? What a headache. Hey, little girl, where did you learn to have a potty mouth? Where are your parents?"

Oh.

_He's still alive?_

_..._

Okay, maybe that wasn't such a good question and maybe I'm becoming too much here, but I can't help it when he's looking down at me with so much arrogance and distaste. It's not scary, just childishly egoistic. But it's  _Tenma_ and he's the Tenma that is one day going to  _sacrifice_ his life for his team. He's a good guy in a way. Hell, I can't even imagine myself taking the bullet so how the hell do these people do it so easily? Are they naturally kind-hearted creatures or is this just some stupid comradeship and village nonsense?

"Excuse me, who are you?" I asked, disinterested.

His one eyebrow rose in challenge. "Izumo Tenma, genin."

As if showing off his rank is anything near cool. Probably even wants to show what clan he belongs to because he did a three-sixty turn for a second, his thumb pointing to the back of his shirt, before turning back to me looking all smug. I could only roll my eyes. Just to spite him, I added my own smirk. "Then Izumo-san, just to inform you that I am not speaking like I'm smarter than you. I  _am_ smarter than you."

His smug look dropped and I could hear Shinko's barely controlled laughter. Itachi looks like he wants to put a palm on his face but decided otherwise, choosing to stay emotionless. And just when I am about to shoot more bullshit at him and how stupid his hair looks, and how his eyes make him look like a girl, or the fact that his zipper is not done right, or how I don't even know what clan he belongs to because I haven't heard of them before, I was stopped by Itachi's next words.

"My Okaa-san and Otou-san wants to invite you to dinner. Shisui's going to be there, 'Yuu-san."

God, how does this kid surprise me so much just by speaking? And Shisui's presence doesn't do much to my part nor does it change anything so what's his point? The Uchiha, innocent or not, shinobi or not, is a powerful clan and a very dignified one too. No problem, I could zoom past that, but these guys hold  _so_ many secrets,  _so_ many lies,  _so_ many suspicions and a  _lot_ of darkness waiting to be exposed. These guys are horrifying just by their power, just by their eyes, and this kid over here, who's going to one day end the existence of them all, says that  _Shisui_ is going to be there and that's  _okay_? Fugaku is probably going to discuss business with me. I know it's not just simple dinner.

It's unfair, I know. To judge these people but it's really not my fault I have future knowledge and walking into the compound is like walking into a cemetery, eerily filled with ghosts, so alive and so bright, yet so  _dead._

Aside from all that, I really don't want to see Itachi's family. They haunt me so much. Or maybe Sasuke, that little asshole, just gets on my nerves a lot. Oh, I don't hold a grudge on the kid for every bad thing he's going to pull one day. I don't really care much where this kid is going, mind you. I think it's just a natural thing for me to hate kids. I remind myself that I am mentally mature, and he's just a kid, so we should ignore his insults directed towards my  _ugly face_  innocently, as what he would like to call it. Kid, if you met my dad, I swear you'll think twice on that because he's Brad P _—_

"You're making that face again."

Forgetting my inner thoughts, I turned to Itachi, curious. "What face? You mean my  _resting bitch face_?"

At the same time that Itachi shook his head, Shinko and Tenma got confused over what 'resting bitch face' means. Ha, figure it out yourselves. I'm not telling.

He nodded, way too honest. "Like you want to kill someone."

"I always want to kill someone. It's a natural instinct of people probably."

He frowned. "I don't want to kill someone."

Ha. You would want to when it comes to Sasuke. But of course, you would not know that until you decide to threaten the Hokage in fear of your younger brother's life. Itachi does  _not_ have the curse of hatred? Kill his brother and then we'll see.  _Harsh_ , but true. Anyway, I'm not the one to believe in that stupid curse, really. I think it doesn't make sense. The Uchiha, and I believe it is a fact, is a clan that values love higher than anything in the world, so obviously if you take away that one, then hell is absolutely going to break loose. And not just the Uchiha maybe. Probably even most people out here. It's a natural reaction. Depends if they act on it or not. The Uchihas are more likely to  _act_ on it.

I don't know anymore.

I've seen that through Naruto's struggles as a child, constantly suffering from the hatred of people who lost their loved ones the day he was born. I doubt they did not want to kill him. Honestly,  _realistically_ , if it was on differing situations that someone I  _fiercely_  love died during the attack, I would hate on the kid too no matter what future knowledge I have. It's not his fault, the  _poor_ kid. There was no one else to blame, no one else but an innocent kid carrying the one thing that destroyed the love that was lost.

And maybe it's not even Kurama's fault. He's just  _lonely, alone, trapped._  It's not his fault people abuse him.

But I can't be a  _hypocrite_  and say that _—_ in differing situations that someone I fiercely love died because of him _—_ I would not  _hate_ on him. People couldn't take that type of kindness and compassion.  _I_ couldn't take that.

"Tachi-san, we're not invited to dinner? And I wanted to eat another one of your Okaa-san's cooking too." Shinko whined, disappointed.

Itachi gave her a small smile. It was not a surprise. Itachi gave out small smiles. Big smiles are  _meant_  for Sasuke. I admit that it's kind of sweet of him even if it makes my skin crawl. I'm just really not used to sibling affection. Or any kind of affection. Regardless, it's  _beautiful_ to see. (Yuck.)

"Sorry, Shinko-san. Maybe next time."

Tenma crossed his arms. "Not like I want to visit a show _—"_

Shinko elbowed him in the gut before he could finish speaking, probably something rude, to Itachi's face. Shinko grinned while pulling Tenma's ear roughly. "Well, then, will you look at that? We have some things to get through, hope you enjoy your dinner! Bye!"

And then they were gone. I decided to play dumb and walk away from him too, trying to play it cool and pretend his invitation for dinner was unheard of. Of course he knew what I was doing.  _Always_ knew. Because this is motherfucking Itachi and that's all we really need to know. He shunshined in front of me, kind of like  _magic_ actually except it was not, that same frown etched on his face. A frown that could only be visible if you look close enough.

"Yuu-san." He warned.

Raising my hands up, I gave up trying to escape. He's going to find me anyway so what's the point exactly.

"Fine."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Grave of the Fireflies is actually a Studio Ghibli production that talks about the bombings in Japan and how two siblings suffered through it all. The fruit drop was something that the younger sibling loved. If you haven't already watched it, that is. It's actually a pretty deep story and it made me cry. Anyways, thank you for the continuous support, I love you all!

**Author's Note:**

>  **A/N** : _This is inspired by all the reincarnation fics I know. It's my first time and it probably is shit, but please bear with me *cries*. I love you all. Thank you._


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